Best Man Speech Book: Guide To Writing A Memorable Toast

Being asked to be the best man at a wedding is a tough honour, but it's also a role that comes with a lot of responsibility. One of the biggest tasks is giving a memorable speech. It's a chance to celebrate the groom, entertain the guests, and show your support for the happy couple. Writing a great best man speech requires careful planning, personal touches, and confident delivery.

The best man's speech is traditionally lighthearted and quick, and follows the groom's speech. It's a chance to say some kind words about your relationship with the couple and your best friend. Wedding speeches are meant to be short, so while you should craft thoughtful words, you don't have to overthink it.

If you're hoping to write and deliver a best man speech that will blow everyone away, there are a few things to keep in mind. First, consider your audience and tailor your content to them. You can also involve your audience by posing a question to them during your speech. It's also important to stay true to yourself and your usual personality. If you're not normally the comedian in the group, don't try to force a bunch of jokes into your speech. Keep things lighthearted and positive, and don't make the toast into a roast. Finally, practice your speech as much as possible and try to relax before giving it.

Choosing a theme

The theme is the glue that holds your best man speech together. It's the underlying message that ties all your stories and anecdotes about the groom and his partner. A well-chosen theme will ensure your speech flows smoothly and leaves a lasting impression on your audience. Here are some tips and ideas to help you choose an effective theme:

• Keep it personal and meaningful: Select a theme that reflects the groom's personality, interests, or unique qualities. This could be centred around his passion for sports, his sense of humour, or his unwavering loyalty as a friend. By choosing a theme that resonates with the groom, you'll be able to craft a speech that truly captures his essence.
• Focus on shared experiences: Think about the experiences you've shared with the groom that could provide a rich source of stories and anecdotes. Perhaps you've travelled together, survived a crazy college adventure, or supported each other through challenging times. Using these shared experiences as a theme will add a layer of authenticity and emotion to your speech.
• Highlight his relationship journey: Another meaningful theme could revolve around the groom's path to finding love. You can talk about his previous relationships, the lessons he learned, and how he finally met his perfect partner. This theme allows you to showcase the groom's growth and celebrate the joy he's found with his new spouse.
• Incorporate humour: While your theme should have a serious and heartfelt core, don't forget to inject some humour. Choose a theme that lends itself to light-hearted moments, funny stories, and playful banter. Whether it's the groom's quirky habits, his embarrassing fashion choices, or his hilarious attempts at cooking, use your theme to showcase his sense of humour and create some comedic relief for your audience.
• Incorporate sentimentality: In addition to humour, don't be afraid to incorporate sentimentality into your theme. Think about the groom's softer side, the moments that made him vulnerable, or the times he showed exceptional kindness. By weaving sentimentality into your theme, you'll create an emotional connection with your audience and provide a deeper insight into the groom's character.
• Use storytelling: Storytelling is a powerful tool for any speech, and it can be an effective way to structure your theme. Think about the key moments in the groom's life that would make compelling stories. Perhaps it's his first job, a challenging obstacle he overcame, or a spontaneous adventure that changed his perspective. By using storytelling as your theme, you'll be able to engage your audience and paint a vivid picture of the groom's life.
• Involve the bride: While the best man speech traditionally focuses on the groom, don't forget to include the bride in your theme. Talk about how she complements the groom, the positive impact she's had on him, and the joy they bring to each other's lives. By incorporating the bride into your theme, you'll showcase the strength of their relationship and celebrate their love story.

Remember, the key to choosing an effective theme is to make it personal, engaging, and reflective of the groom's unique qualities. By selecting a theme that resonates with him and your audience, you'll be well on your way to delivering a memorable and impactful best man speech.

Structuring your speech

Kick things off with a light-hearted joke or icebreaker to warm up the guests and calm your nerves. This sets a friendly tone for the rest of your speech. You can also use this opportunity to introduce yourself, especially if there are guests who may not know you. Share how you met the groom to establish your connection with everyone in the room.

Messages from Absent Guests

The couple may ask you to share messages or well-wishes from friends and family who couldn't attend the wedding. This adds a thoughtful touch to your speech and can be made more light-hearted by including some funny or fake messages.

Stories and Anecdotes

Share amusing anecdotes and stories about the groom. This is your chance to roast the groom playfully while keeping it friendly and respectful. Use props, stunts, or a slideshow of photos to enhance your storytelling and involve the audience. Condense your stories and focus on the good bits to keep your speech engaging and avoid rambling.

Words of Wisdom

Offer some light-hearted and sincere advice to the newlyweds. If you're married, you can share your own experiences, or ask married friends and family for their tips on love, compromise, and everyday life.

Praises for the Partner

Take a moment to compliment the groom's partner and reflect on their relationship. Share a memory or attribute that showcases their bond and highlights the groom's positive changes since meeting their partner.

Acknowledgements and Final Toast

Thank the bridal party and parents for their contributions to the wedding. Finally, conclude your speech by raising a glass to the couple and wishing them a happy future. You can end with a personalised quote or a funny line to leave a lasting impression.

Adding personal touches

The best man's speech is a pivotal moment at any wedding, and as the best man, you have the privilege and responsibility of standing by the groom's side throughout his wedding journey and culminating it with an inspiring address that leaves guests filled with warmth and laughter. It is a chance to celebrate the groom, entertain the guests, and show your support for the happy couple. Here are some tips on how to add personal touches to your best man's speech:

• Share stories about the groom: People are wired for stories. Sharing a story is the best way to keep the audience entertained and connected. Share funny, heartwarming, or even embarrassing experiences that reveal the groom's character and your relationship with him. Ask mutual friends if there are any great stories you may have forgotten.
• Share what the groom means to you: Express all the things you like about the groom and what he means to you. Talk about how he's always had your back, gives great advice, or any other qualities you admire.
• Discuss the couple's relationship: Share observations or experiences you've had with the couple. Discuss how their love has transformed the groom or share how their relationship has positively affected those around them. Avoid anything that might embarrass either party or create discomfort among guests.
• Include personal anecdotes: Create an appealing portrait of your relationship with the groom and the bride. Demonstrate his growth over time while showing her the qualities that the bride adores in him. Provide entertainment without delving into overly emotional territory.
• Compliment the bride: It is appropriate and customary for best men to compliment the bride. Acknowledge her qualities and share your happiness for the groom, welcoming her as part of your family.
• Offer light-hearted and sincere advice: If you are married, you and your partner could come up with some golden rules for a happy marriage. If you're not married, you could ask friends or family members for tips.
• Express gratitude: Thank the couple for letting you play a special role in their day, thank the families for their kindness and hospitality, and thank the attendees for their presence.

Practising your delivery

Rehearse, Rehearse, Rehearse

The key to a confident delivery is practice. Stand in front of a mirror or enlist the help of a trusted friend to be your audience. Practising will help you refine your delivery and familiarise yourself with the content, timing, and flow of your speech. The more you practise, the more comfortable and self-assured you will become. Run through your speech multiple times until you feel confident and polished.

Calming Your Nerves

It is natural to feel nervous before delivering your speech. To calm your nerves, engage in deep breathing exercises, and visualise yourself as a confident, engaging speaker. While having a drink or two might help ease your anxiety, be cautious as this could also lead to disaster. Stay away from excessive alcohol consumption, as it will only hinder your performance.

Connect with Your Audience

Establish eye contact with your audience, and use hand gestures to emphasise your points. Speak clearly and at a steady pace. Remember to pause and take deep breaths throughout your speech to maintain your composure and ensure your message is conveyed effectively.

Body Language

Your body language plays a significant role in how your speech is received. Stand up straight with good posture to project confidence. Use hand gestures to emphasise your points and take up space. Smile and use open palm gestures to signal friendliness and approachability. Change your eye contact with different audience members, especially when addressing specific individuals or groups, such as the bride, groom, and their families.

Seek Feedback

Practise your speech in front of a small group of friends or family members and ask for constructive feedback. They can provide valuable insights on areas where you can improve, such as pacing, tone, and body language. This will help you refine and perfect your delivery.

Memorisation

While it is not necessary to memorise your entire speech word for word, it is beneficial to have a strong grasp of the key points and structure. This will allow you to engage more interactively with your audience rather than reading directly from notes. Simplify the memorisation process by learning one section of your speech each day.

Timing

Keep in mind that less is more when it comes to the length of your speech. Aim for a duration of 3 to 7 minutes. The ideal best man speech is concise, entertaining, and leaves the audience wanting more. Practise with a timer to ensure you stay within the appropriate timeframe.

Remember, the key to a successful best man speech is preparation and practice. Rehearse your speech, refine your delivery, and embrace your role in celebrating the happy couple.

Calming your nerves

Being the best man at a wedding is a big deal, and it's completely normal to feel nervous about giving a speech in front of a crowd. However, with some forethought, planning, and practice, you can deliver a memorable and engaging best man speech. Here are some tips to help you calm your nerves:

Plan Ahead

Give yourself plenty of time, at least a month, to write your speech. The weeks leading up to the wedding can be hectic, so planning ahead will relieve some pressure.

Practice

Practice your speech out loud multiple times before the wedding. Reading it aloud will help you identify areas that need improvement and make you more familiar with the content, reducing nerves on the day. Consider recording yourself and watching it back, or sending it to a friend for feedback.

Keep it Short

A best man speech should typically be between three and seven minutes long. Keeping your speech concise will help maintain the audience's attention and reduce the risk of rambling or boring your guests.

Avoid Alcohol

While it may be tempting to calm your nerves with a drink, alcohol can amplify emotions and make it harder to remember your speech. It's best to limit your alcohol intake until after your speech.

Focus on the Couple

Remember that your speech is about celebrating the couple and their love. Shifting the focus away from yourself and onto them can help ease your nerves. Share heartfelt anecdotes and well-wishes for their future.

Breathe and Remind Yourself That You Are Prepared

On the day of the wedding, take deep breaths and remind yourself that you are well-prepared. Trust in the hard work you have put into crafting and practicing your speech.

Use Notes

It's perfectly fine to use note cards or cue cards during your speech. They can help you stay on track and calm your nerves. Just make sure to maintain eye contact with the audience and avoid reading from your phone, as it can be distracting and ruin wedding photos.

Frequently asked questions