Writing Wedding Invitations: Etiquette For Addressing Guests' Names

Wedding invitation wording can be a tricky task, but it's an important one as it sets the tone for your big day. The good news is that the rules of wedding invitation etiquette are not that complicated. The primary rule is to create a beautiful wedding invitation that represents you, your love, and the day to come, while also communicating the vital details of the wedding.

The first step is to decide on the host line. Traditionally, the bride's parents are the hosts and are named at the top of the invitation. However, including the names of both sets of parents as hosts is a gracious option, no matter who is paying. If the couple is hosting, you can skip the host line altogether or start with a warm and welcoming introduction.

Next, you'll need to include a request line, inviting guests to share in your celebration. This can be formal, such as request the honour of your presence, or more casual, like would love for you to join them.

Then comes the action line, where you outline what you are inviting guests to share in. For example, at the marriage of their daughter.

After that, you'll need to include the names of the couple. For different-sex couples, the bride's name typically goes first, followed by the groom's name. Same-sex couples can list names in alphabetical order or based on what looks best with the design.

The date and time come next and should be spelled out in full, e.g. Saturday, the fifteenth of September, two thousand twenty-one, at half after four in the afternoon.

Finally, you'll need to include the ceremony venue and, if it's different, the reception venue. If the reception is at the same location, you can simply say reception to follow.

How to Address Married Couples With the Same Last Name

When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with the same last name, the traditional format is to use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. For example:

"Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren"

However, this format may not be suitable for all couples, as it leaves out the wife's first name. A more modern approach is to include both the husband and wife's first and last names, for example:

"Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren"

When addressing the inner envelope, you can use a more informal format, such as:

"Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"

If you are using two envelopes, the outer envelope is typically more formal, with the inner envelope being less formal and including first names.

It is important to note that these are just guidelines, and you should use your best judgment based on your relationship with the couple and their preferences.

Additionally, when addressing a married couple with the same last name, it is standard to list the husband's name first. However, for same-sex couples, either name can go first.

How to Address Married Couples With Different Last Names

When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with different last names, there are a few options to consider. Here are some guidelines to help you navigate this situation:

Outer Envelope Etiquette:

It is recommended to put the names of the married couple on the same line, with the woman's name listed first. If their combined names are too long and don't fit on one line, it is acceptable to list their names separately. Here are some examples:

• Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez
• Celine Elgin and Mr. Jack Purcell
• Ms. Celine Elgin and Ms. Jacqueline Purcell

Inner Envelope Etiquette:

For the inner envelope, you have more flexibility. You can use their titles and last names or switch to a more casual tone by using their first names. Here are some options:

• Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez
• Maria and David
• Celine and Jack
• Ms. Elgin and Ms. Purcell
• Celine and Jacqueline

Additional Considerations:

• If one person in the couple has a distinguished title, such as a doctor, military rank, lawyer, or judge, it is proper to use that title on the outer envelope. For example:
• Dr. Tami Takata and Mr. David Estevez
• Lieutenant Celine Elgin, US Navy, and Mr. Jack Purcell
• When addressing the inner envelope, you can abbreviate the title or use their first names:
• Dr. Takata and Mr. Estevez
• Tami and David
• Lieutenant Elgin and Mr. Purcell
• Celine and Jack
• If the woman has chosen to hyphenate her last name, include both last names in the address:
• Outer envelope: Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft
• Inner envelope: Mr. Craft and Mr. Crosby-Craft or Marcus and Brian
• Always use the preferred titles (Mr., Mrs., Ms., Mx.) provided by the couple. If you are unsure, it is better to ask than to assume and risk addressing the invitation improperly.
• Avoid using only one person's name on the same line as their partner, as this can appear disrespectful and imply that the other person is an afterthought.

How to Address Married Couples With One Hyphenated Last Name

When addressing wedding invitations to a married couple with one hyphenated last name, there are a few options to consider. The outer envelope is the more formal of the two and is the envelope that will be seen by the post office. The inner envelope is more informal and will be seen only by the recipients.

For the outer envelope, the following formats can be used:

• "Mr. Michael Jones and Ms. Mary Smith-Jones" (spouse with hyphenated name listed second)
• "Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft" (both spouses have the hyphenated last name)
• "Mr. and Mrs. Dean Wooley" (using "Mrs." for the spouse with the hyphenated last name)
• "Mr. David Crosby and Ms. Lynn Carter-Crosby" (using "Ms." for the spouse with the hyphenated last name)

For the inner envelope, a more casual tone can be used:

• "Mr. Craft and Mr. Crosby-Craft" or "Marcus and Brian" (both spouses have the hyphenated last name)
• "Mr. Jones and Ms. Smith-Jones"
• "Mr. and Mrs. Wooley"
• "David and Lynn"

It is important to note that the outer envelope should include the recipient's full name and personal title. However, if you feel that personal titles may be restrictive or exclusive for your guest list, you can choose to use only first and last names or confirm each attendee's preferred personal title beforehand.

How to Address Unmarried Couples

When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples, there are a few key points to keep in mind. Here are some detailed instructions to ensure your invitations are polite and properly formatted:

Outer Envelope:

Address the outer envelope formally, writing out the full name(s) of the recipient(s), including their personal title(s). For unmarried couples living at the same address, include both names on one line. List the person you are closest to first, or go in alphabetical order if you have no preference. Here is an example:

> Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee

If the combined names are too long and don't fit on one line, you can list them separately, still giving precedence to the person you are closest to or using alphabetical order:

> Mr. Aaron Triguiero

> Mr. Gabriel Reyes

Inner Envelope:

The inner envelope is more informal, so you have the option to be more casual. You can use personal titles and last names or just first names, depending on your preference. Here are some examples:

> Mr. Kim and Ms. Rhee

> Stanley and Amanda

> Mr. Triguiero

> Mr. Reyes

Formal and Informal Addressing:

The level of formality of your wedding will influence the style of addressing. For a formal, glamorous black-tie affair, opt for a traditional and elegant addressing style. On the other hand, a casual, laid-back wedding may call for a more relaxed approach. Here are some examples:

Formal Addressing:

> Ms. Sara Trent

> Mr. Anthony James

> 56 North Ridge Drive

> Hartinger, California 28495

Informal Addressing:

> Sara and Anthony

> 56 North Ridge Drive

> Hartinger, CA 28495

Other Considerations:

When addressing unmarried couples, it's essential to use the correct personal titles and ensure you know the preference of the individuals. If you're unsure about titles, it's better to forgo them than to risk offending your guests. Additionally, always double-check the spelling of names and addresses to avoid any mistakes.

How to Address Single People

When addressing single people on wedding invitations, it's important to use their preferred title and spell out their full name. Here are some guidelines to follow:

For Single Females:

Use "Ms." if she is over 18. For younger females, use "Miss", which should be spelled out and not abbreviated. If the single female has been offered a plus one, you don't need to include this information on the outer envelope. Reserve "and guest" for the inner envelope.

Example (with a plus one):

On the outer envelope: Ms. Stephanie Chen

On the inner envelope: Ms. Chen and guest

For Single Males:

Use "Mr." for males over 18. If the male guest is younger than 18, no title is necessary. Similar to the single female, if a plus one has been offered, you can simply include "and guest" on the inner envelope.

Example (with a plus one):

On the outer envelope: Mr. James Montgomery

On the inner envelope: Mr. Montgomery and guest

For Non-Binary Individuals:

If your guest identifies as non-binary, you can use the honorific "Mx." If you're unsure of their preferred title, it's best to ask them directly.

Example:

Mx. Courtney Andrews

For Widowed or Divorced Women:

For widowed women, it's best to inquire about their preferred title. They may still wish to be addressed using their husband's name or their married name. Some may also prefer "Ms." Divorced women can be addressed using "Ms." or "Mrs." along with their ex-husband's last name (if they still use it) or their maiden name, depending on their preference.

Example for a widowed woman:

Mrs. George Devereaux or Mrs. Blanche Devereaux

Example for a divorced woman:

Mrs./Ms. Cookie Lyon or Mrs./Ms. Cookie Holloway

For Individuals With Distinguished Titles:

If your guest has a distinguished title, such as a judge, priest, or military official, be sure to include this in the address. For judges, use "The Honorable" before their full name. For priests, use "Father" before their full name. Military personnel should be addressed with their rank and branch, such as "Lieutenant Loras Tyrell, US Army."

Example for a judge:

The Honorable Sonia Sotomayor

Example for a priest:

Father Damien Karras

When addressing single people, it's important to use the correct titles and spell out their full names. This shows respect and ensures that your guests feel welcomed and valued. Remember to double-check the spelling and accuracy of all addresses before sending out your invitations.

Frequently asked questions