Managing Out-Of-Town Bridesmaids: A Guide For Seamless Wedding Planning

Planning a wedding is challenging, especially when your bridesmaids live out of town. It's important to find ways to include them in the festivities and planning process. While it's not necessary to give them special treatment, you may need to make some adjustments to your plans. Here are some tips to help you manage your out-of-town bridesmaids and ensure they feel included:

- Send them invitations to all the events, even if you know they might not be able to attend. This will make them feel like part of the group and allow them to contribute and participate if they can.

- Include them in dress shopping by using video calls or sending photos. This will also result in fun, documented moments of everyone trying on dresses together.

- Replicate the experience of asking them to be your bridesmaid in person by scheduling a video call or sending them a surprise package.

- Give them tasks to do, such as research or creating invites for special events. This will make them feel involved and take something off your to-do list!

- Arrange accommodations for them if needed, and confirm their plans. Offer suggestions for places to stay and things to do while they're in town.

- Stay in regular communication with them through phone calls, Facebook groups, or text messages. This will help them feel connected to you and the rest of the bridal party.

- If possible, try to include them in pre-wedding events like the bachelorette party or bridal shower, so they can get to know the other bridesmaids before the big day.

Include them in dress shopping

Bridesmaid dress shopping is one of the most important events that your out-of-town bridesmaids might feel really left out of. Here are some ways to include them in the process:

Video Call

Schedule a video call with your out-of-town bridesmaids while you're dress shopping. This way, they can give their opinions and feel like they're part of the process. Be sure to give them a heads-up about when you plan to go dress shopping so they can block out time and join you virtually.

Photos

If your out-of-town bridesmaids can't join you live, be sure to send them photos of your favourite dresses. You could even send them photos of the dresses you try on as you try them on, so they can feel like they're there with you.

At-Home Try-On

Instead of going to a boutique, bring the boutique experience to your out-of-town bridesmaids' homes. With at-home try-on kits, your bridesmaids can try on samples of your favourite styles in the comfort of their own homes. These kits often include fabric swatches and a measuring tape to ensure your bridesmaids order their perfect size.

Virtual Fitting

If your out-of-town bridesmaids can't make it to a local tailor, they can have their measurements taken by a local tailor or dry cleaner, and then connect with a stylist for a virtual fitting. This way, they can get expert advice on the best style and size for them.

Self-Measurements

If your out-of-town bridesmaids can't get to a local tailor, they can take their own measurements. Send them an instructional video on how to take their measurements accurately so they can order dresses that fit them well.

Remember, it's important to keep your out-of-town bridesmaids involved in the dress shopping process so they feel included and valued. By using technology and thinking creatively, you can make sure they don't feel left out, even if they can't be there in person.

Ask them in person

Asking your bridesmaids in person is a great way to make your request feel more personal and intimate. If your bridesmaids-to-be live out of town, you can still ask them in person by scheduling a video call. This way, you can see each other face-to-face and have a meaningful conversation about your request.

• Create a special package: Send them a surprise package in the mail with a thoughtful gift and a handwritten note asking the question. This could be something as simple as a card or a small gift that you know they will appreciate. For instance, if they love candles, you could send them a personalised candle with a message asking them to be your bridesmaid.
• Make it interactive: If you want to get creative, you can ask the question through a fun, interactive activity. For example, you could create a scavenger hunt with clues that lead to different locations, and at the end, they find a proposal card. Another idea is to do a DIY balloon pop, where you put a message inside a balloon that says, "Will you be my bridesmaid?" and have them pop it to reveal the question.
• Add a personal touch: Whether you decide to meet over video call or send a package, adding a personal touch will make your request more meaningful. Include a handwritten note expressing your appreciation for their friendship and how much it would mean to have them by your side on your special day. You could also include a gift that is personalised, such as a customised wine bottle with a label asking them to be your bridesmaid.
• Provide clear expectations: When asking someone to be your bridesmaid, it is essential to be clear about your expectations. Being a bridesmaid requires a significant time and financial commitment. Outline key pre-wedding events they will be expected to attend, your general expectations for purchasing the bridesmaid dress, and if they will be asked to help with any wedding-related tasks. This will help them make an informed decision, especially if they have financial or time constraints.
• Respect their decision: Remember that not everyone may be able to commit to being a bridesmaid, so be prepared to gracefully accept a "no" if that is their answer. If they decline, thank them for their honesty and support. You could also offer flexibility and see if there are ways to adjust your expectations to accommodate their concerns.

Remember to give your out-of-town bridesmaids the same invitations as your local bridesmaids, so they feel included and part of the group. Include them in dress shopping by sending them photos or video calling them during the process so they can feel involved and provide their input.

Give them tasks

Giving your out-of-town bridesmaids tasks to do is an easy way to make them feel involved and included in the wedding planning process. Here are some ideas for tasks you can give to your out-of-town bridesmaids:

Research

This is an easy way to include your out-of-town bridesmaids in the planning process. Ask them to research and suggest ideas for photographers, shoes, favours, and other wedding details. They can also help you find your wedding day attire or weigh in on different outfit options.

Create Invites for Special Events

Suggest to your other bridesmaids or family members that your out-of-town bridesmaid can take on the task of creating invites for events like the bridal shower or bachelorette party. This will make her feel included and give her a sense of contribution to the wedding festivities.

Arrive Early to Help with Last-Minute Tasks

There are always a million last-minute tasks to be done in the week leading up to the wedding. Ask your out-of-town bridesmaid if she can arrive a few days early to help with these tasks, such as running errands or creating centrepieces.

Create a Shared Inspiration Board

Create a shared board on Pinterest where you and your bridesmaids can pin wedding ideas, inspiration, and general wedding style. This will help your out-of-town bridesmaids feel involved in the planning process and give them a sense of your wedding vision.

Set Up Regular Phone Calls

Schedule bi-weekly phone calls with your out-of-town bridesmaids to give them updates on the wedding planning process. These calls can also be a safe space for them to vent about any wedding-related stress or challenges they are facing.

Remember, it's important to ask your bridesmaids if they are willing to take on these tasks and to be mindful of their distance and availability.

Arrange accommodations

Arranging accommodations for out-of-town bridesmaids is an important aspect of wedding planning. Here are some tips to help you manage this aspect effectively:

Confirm their accommodation plans:

Firstly, confirm the accommodation plans of your out-of-town bridesmaids. They may have friends or family in the area with whom they plan to stay. If that's the case, ensure their arrangements are finalised.

Offer accommodation suggestions:

If your bridesmaids don't have local connections, suggest some accommodation options. You can recommend hotels, Airbnb, or even staying with your parents after the wedding, as long as this is feasible.

Consider their length of stay:

Ask your out-of-town bridesmaids about their travel plans and how long they intend to stay. This will help you understand their accommodation needs better. They may need a place to stay for a night or two before the wedding, the night of the wedding, and perhaps an additional night if they're participating in pre-wedding activities like a bridal shower or bachelorette party.

Explore cost-effective options:

If you're paying for their accommodation, consider cost-effective options like renting a house through Airbnb or another vacation rental platform. This can be more affordable than booking multiple hotel rooms, and it will also give your bridesmaids a space to bond and spend time together.

Communicate clearly:

Clear communication is essential. Let your bridesmaids know about the available options and any costs they may need to cover. If you're unable to cover their accommodation expenses, be transparent about it, and provide them with a list of suggested places to stay.

Encourage early arrival:

Encourage your out-of-town bridesmaids to arrive a day or two early, especially if they're willing to help with last-minute tasks. This will give them time to settle in, relax, and perhaps spend some extra time with you before the wedding festivities begin.

Remember, the key is to make your out-of-town bridesmaids feel included and comfortable. By arranging suitable accommodations, you'll ensure they have a pleasant experience and can fully enjoy your special day.

Send invitations

When it comes to sending invitations to out-of-town bridesmaids, there are a few key considerations to keep in mind. Firstly, it's important to send them all the same invitations as the rest of your bridal party, regardless of their distance from you. This helps them feel included and part of the group. Use the same method of delivery for all your bridesmaids, whether it's a Facebook event invite or a physical invitation card. This way, they are aware of what's going on and can choose to contribute and participate if they are able to.

It's also a thoughtful gesture to personally ask your out-of-town bridesmaids to be a part of your wedding party. Schedule a video call or send them a surprise package with a creative way of popping the question. This extra step will make them feel special and valued, despite the distance.

Additionally, when it comes to dress shopping, include your out-of-town bridesmaids as much as possible. Use technology to your advantage by video calling them while you're browsing or sending them photos of your favourite dresses. This way, they can feel involved in the process and give their opinions.

If you're sending invitations to events like the bridal shower or bachelorette party, it's a nice touch to include your out-of-town bridesmaids even if you know they might not be able to attend. This shows that you're thinking of them and want them to be a part of the celebrations.

Lastly, when it comes to accommodation, confirm their plans and offer suggestions or arrange a place for them to stay if needed. This ensures that they feel welcomed and taken care of, especially if they are unfamiliar with the area.

Frequently asked questions