Bridesmaids and groomsmen are an integral part of a wedding ceremony. The idea of bridesmaids and groomsmen dates back to ancient Rome, where it was a legal requirement for the bride and groom to have five bridesmaids and five groomsmen each as witnesses. Today, bridesmaids and groomsmen are usually the bride and groom's closest friends and family members. They are chosen to be by the couple's side as they navigate the planning process and the big day. While the specific duties of bridesmaids and groomsmen may vary, they traditionally offer emotional and logistical support and help with wedding preparations and festivities.
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
Number of bridesmaids and groomsmen | In ancient Rome, there were 5 bridesmaids and 5 groomsmen to act as witnesses. Today, the number varies depending on the couple's preferences. |
Purpose | Honouring a special relationship, supporting and spending time with the couple on their wedding day. |
Roles and responsibilities | Planning pre-wedding events, offering emotional and logistical support, assisting with decorations, addressing invitations, running errands, greeting and ushering guests, giving toasts or speeches, and dancing. |
Dress code | In ancient Rome, bridesmaids and groomsmen dressed identically to the bride and groom to confuse evil spirits and jealous suitors. Today, there is no requirement for matching outfits, and bridesmaids' dresses vary in colour and style. |
What You'll Learn
Bridesmaids' duties before the wedding
While the role of a bridesmaid is often confusing, the main role is to assist the Maid of Honor and offer help to the bride as needed. Here is a list of duties a bridesmaid should expect to perform before the wedding:
Planning and Paying for Pre-Wedding Events
The maid of honor will typically take the lead, but as a bridesmaid, you should plan to support her efforts. This includes the bridal shower and the bachelorette party.
Attend Pre-Wedding Events
Bridesmaids are expected to attend all pre-wedding events, including the engagement party, wedding shower, bachelorette party, rehearsal, and rehearsal dinner.
Running Errands
Bridesmaids may be called upon to run necessary errands during wedding planning, at pre-ceremony events, and even on the day of the wedding, if needed.
Emotionally Support the Bride
It's important to be there for the bride and provide emotional support throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day.
Help With Wedding Dress Shopping
Bridesmaids often attend dress appointments and help the bride choose her attire for the wedding.
Assist With Bridesmaid Dress Shopping
Bridesmaids should help with the selection of their dresses, keeping in mind what colors and styles will flatter all complexions and body types.
Keep a Record of Gifts
Bridesmaids may be asked to keep track of gifts at the bridal shower so the bride knows who to thank for what.
Assist With DIY Projects
Bridesmaids can lend a hand with any wedding DIY sessions, such as making favors, place cards, or other decorations.
Attend Fittings
Bridesmaids are responsible for purchasing their own gowns and accessories and attending all fittings for their dresses.
Communicate Honestly
It's important to have honest conversations about your responsibilities as a bridesmaid and communicate any financial or time constraints.
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Bridesmaids' duties on the wedding day
Bridesmaids are typically some of the bride's closest friends and family members, and their role is significant throughout the planning process and the wedding day. While the role of the bridesmaid is an honour, it also comes with a lot of responsibilities. Here is a detailed list of duties that bridesmaids should carry out on the wedding day:
On the Morning of the Wedding
- Arrive at the bride's house early with plenty of time for the hairdresser and makeup artist.
- Help younger attendants get dressed and be on hand to assist them.
- Keep tissues, blotting paper, and lip gloss/lipstick for touch-ups throughout the day.
- Pack an 'emergency kit' with plasters, rescue remedy, and a sewing kit.
- Ensure everyone is where they should be and that the atmosphere in the room is upbeat.
- Make sure the bride eats breakfast and stays hydrated.
- Ensure hair and makeup appointments are on track.
- Keep an eye on the time.
- Field any questions from guests and suppliers and keep any issues away from the couple.
- Help the bride into her dress and assist with her shoes, jewellery, and veil.
During the Ceremony
- Ensure the bride's attendants are in the right position behind her, ready for her entrance.
- Calm any excited little flower girls and page boys.
- Make any necessary adjustments to the bride's veil and dress.
- Take the bride's bouquet for the ceremony.
- When the couple signs the register, accompany them with the best man.
- Take your position behind the bride and her new husband for the recessional.
- Once outside, arrange the couple and attendants for photographs.
- Take part in the receiving line to greet guests.
- Look after the bride's bouquet for the rest of the day.
- Circulate among the guests during the reception to ensure they are enjoying themselves.
- Make a speech if you wish.
- Join the happy couple midway through the first dance.
After the Ceremony
- Help the bride out of her dress and pack it up to prevent damage.
- Be there for breakfast with the couple the next day for a full debrief.
- Collect any cards from the venue's safe.
- Ensure flowers and decor are packed and moved for day two celebrations.
- Box up keepsakes such as framed photos, the guest book, and photo booth snaps.
- Offer to do the bride's hair and makeup for day two celebrations.
Throughout the Day
- Help the bride in and out of cars or down stairs if she needs assistance.
- Fix her dress and veil throughout the day, such as at the top of the aisle or when posing for photos.
- Arrange for cans or a 'Just Married' sign on the wedding car.
- Help round up family members for photos.
- Carry an emergency kit and the bride's lipstick and let her know if she needs touch-ups.
- Assist the bride when going to the bathroom, if required.
- Keep the bride hydrated and fed – make sure she drinks water and has snacks.
- Assist with little members of the bridal party.
- Encourage guests to sign the guest book or visit the photo booth.
- Help the bride into her second dress if she has one for dancing.
- Be first on the dance floor and encourage others to keep it filled for the night.
- Arrange for candles, rose petals, and bubbly in the bridal suite.
- Help with any send-off the couple has planned, such as a sparkler exit.
- Take the wedding bouquet and put it in water for preserving.
- Tip any staff the couple wants to tip.
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Groomsmen's duties before the wedding
Groomsmen are the groom's closest friends and family members, and they play a significant role in the wedding festivities. While the best man usually leads the groomsmen, here are some duties that groomsmen can be expected to perform before the wedding:
Planning the Bachelor Party:
Groomsmen work with the best man to plan and pay for the bachelor party, including accommodations, activities, and transportation. They also offer a gift to the groom, which is usually given at this party.
Purchasing/Renting Attire:
Groomsmen are responsible for getting their wedding attire sorted. This includes buying or renting their suits/tuxedos and attending fittings. They also need to ensure they have all the necessary accessories and footwear.
Attending Pre-Wedding Events:
Groomsmen are expected to attend pre-wedding events like the engagement party, couples' shower, bachelor party, and rehearsal dinner. They may also be asked to give a speech at the rehearsal dinner.
Travel and Accommodation:
The groomsmen usually book their travel and hotel accommodations for the wedding. If the wedding is local, they may need to book rooms in the same hotel as the groom.
Offering Support:
Groomsmen are there to provide emotional support to the groom throughout the wedding planning process. They can also assist the best man, who often has a lot on their plate.
Greeting and Ushering Guests:
Groomsmen often act as ushers, greeting guests and escorting them to their seats before the ceremony. They may also hand out wedding programs to guests.
Groomsmen have a vital role in making the wedding day a success, and their presence and support are essential for the groom.
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Groomsmen's duties on the wedding day
Groomsmen are the groom's closest friends and family members, chosen to be by his side on his wedding day. While the best man leads the groomsmen, here are some duties that groomsmen can be expected to perform on the wedding day:
Pre-Wedding
- Groomsmen are expected to attend pre-wedding events, including the engagement party, couples' shower, bachelor party, and rehearsal dinner.
- They are also responsible for booking their travel and accommodation for the wedding.
- Groomsmen should rent or buy their wedding attire and attend fittings.
- Planning the bachelor party is a key responsibility, working with the best man to organise the location, timing, guest list, and activities.
- Groomsmen should also offer a gift to the groom, usually given at the bachelor party.
On the Wedding Day
- Groomsmen should arrive early to help the groom get ready and ensure he is calm and relaxed.
- They act as a point of contact for guests and vendors, helping to direct guests and answer any questions.
- Groomsmen traditionally act as ushers, guiding guests to their seats and handing out ceremony programs.
- They should be ready for the ceremony on time, paying attention and performing any duties that have been arranged.
- Groomsmen will usually pose for group photos with the wedding party before or after the ceremony.
- During the reception, groomsmen should mingle with guests, enjoy the food and drinks, and participate in activities like signing the guest book or visiting the photo booth.
- They may also be asked to dance with the bridesmaids, flower girl, or other single guests.
Post-Wedding
- Groomsmen can help with cleaning up and breaking down the venue after the wedding.
- They can offer rides to the airport for out-of-town guests.
- Returning rented formalwear is the responsibility of each groomsman, and they must do so promptly to avoid late fees.
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The history of bridesmaids and groomsmen
Bridesmaids
The tradition of having bridesmaids at weddings stems from ancient customs and beliefs. In ancient Rome and China, bridesmaids were chosen from unwed young women of marriageable age and were responsible for escorting the bride to the groom's village, where she would be vulnerable to attacks by highwaymen and rival suitors. To confuse evil spirits and potential threats, bridesmaids would wear identical outfits and heavy veils, just like the bride. This practice continued into the Victorian era, with Queen Victoria's bridesmaids dressed in identical white gowns to match the queen's wedding dress, setting a new standard for royal brides.
Over time, the role of bridesmaids shifted from protection to providing emotional and logistical support to the bride. They assist with wedding planning, attend pre-wedding events, and offer moral support throughout the process. Today, brides typically select their closest friends and family members to be bridesmaids, regardless of their marital status or age.
Groomsmen
The history of groomsmen, also known as "bride's knights," is deeply rooted in the concept of marriage by capture, where the groom, along with his groomsmen, would forcibly take the bride from her family if they did not consent to the marriage. Groomsmen served as the groom's army, fighting off the bride's relatives and protecting the couple from potential threats. The best man, chosen for his exceptional fighting skills, acted as the lead protector and stood by the groom's side during the ceremony to guard against any attempts to kidnap the bride or interfere with the marriage.
In modern times, the role of groomsmen has transformed significantly. While they still provide support and assistance to the groom, it typically does not involve combat or kidnapping! Groomsmen help with wedding planning, participate in the bachelor party, and offer emotional and logistical support to the groom throughout the wedding process.
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Frequently asked questions
Bridesmaids are typically some of the bride's closest friends and/or family members. Their main role is to assist the Maid of Honour with her wedding-planning duties and offer additional help to the bride as needed. This includes emotionally supporting the bride, assisting with planning and paying for the bridal shower and bachelorette party, and attending pre-wedding events. They also help with errands, decorations, and DIY projects, and provide emotional support.
Groomsmen are the groom's closest family members and friends. They are there to support the Best Man and the groom throughout the wedding planning and ceremony. This includes assisting the Best Man in planning pre-wedding events and the ceremony, and attending these events, such as the bachelor party, rehearsal dinner, and engagement party. They also help with running errands, greeting and ushering guests, and decorating.
The tradition of bridesmaids and groomsmen dates back to ancient Rome, where ten bridesmaids and groomsmen were required by law to serve as witnesses for the wedding and protect the couple from evil spirits. Groomsmen, or the bride's knights, would also escort the bride to the wedding and to the groom's home afterward, sometimes even kidnapping her from disapproving parents. Bridesmaids would shower the bride with gifts, which would become her dowry if her father did not approve of the groom.