Choosing Your Jewish Wedding Party: How Many Bridesmaids?

Bridesmaids are a common feature of many weddings, but what about Jewish weddings? The number of bridesmaids at a wedding can vary depending on the couple's preferences, and the same is true for Jewish weddings. While some sources suggest that the idea of attendants is more common in American and/or Christian weddings, it is not unheard of for there to be bridesmaids and groomsmen at Jewish weddings, particularly in the US.

Bridesmaids are a non-Jewish custom

The Talmud talks about having shushbinin, or close friends, escort the bride and groom. In traditional weddings, it can be a mob scene, rather than a structured ceremony. The bride and groom are treated as VIPs and are accompanied by a good friend or 'shomer' in the days leading up to the wedding. This friend acts as an honour escort, ensuring the couple don't go out unattended.

In some Jewish weddings, the bride is escorted by her parents, and in less religious or more secular weddings, bridesmaids may walk down the aisle in pairs with groomsmen. However, the idea of 'attendants' is considered American and/or Christian.

The concept of bridesmaids is believed to have pagan origins. According to Wikipedia, the Romans used bridesmaids to confuse evil spirits. The bride's friends would all wear matching dresses so that demons couldn't tell who was getting married.

In a Jewish wedding, the procession is ordered differently. The rabbi and cantor enter first, followed by the bride's grandparents, the groom's grandparents, the groomsmen, the groom (escorted by his parents), the bridesmaids, maid of honour, ring bearer, flower girl, and finally, the bride (escorted by her parents).

The bride is escorted by her parents

The procession order is as follows:

• Rabbi and/or cantor (who stand beneath the chuppah in the centre)
• Grandparents of the bride (seated in the first row on the right side)
• Grandparents of the groom (seated in the first row on the left side)
• Groomsmen (in pairs)
• Groom, escorted by his parents
• Bridesmaids (starting with the one who will stand farthest from the bride)
• Maid/Matron of Honor
• Ring bearer and/or flower girl
• Bride, escorted by her parents

The bride's parents escorting her is a traditional element, though some modern Jewish weddings may vary in their procession order. For example, at less religious or more secular weddings, the bridesmaids and groomsmen may walk down the aisle paired together.

The bride is also escorted by her parents during the recessional, which is simply the procession order reversed, with the men in the wedding party escorting the women.

The bridal party enters in a specific order

• The rabbi and/or cantor (who stands beneath the chuppah in the centre)
• Grandparents of the bride (seated in the first row on the right side)
• Grandparents of the groom (seated in the first row on the left side)
• Groomsmen (in pairs)
• The groom, escorted by his parents (father on his right, mother on his left)
• Bridesmaids (starting with the one who will stand farthest from the bride)
• Maid/matron of honour
• Ring bearer and/or flower girl
• The bride, escorted by her parents (father on her right, mother on her left)

The wedding party enters with the bride's side on the right and the groom's on the left when facing forward down the aisle. This is the opposite of a traditional Christian ceremony. Both sets of parents stand under the chuppah during the ceremony, alongside the bride, groom, and rabbi.

After the ceremony, the procession is reversed, and the men in the wedding party escort the women.

The bride circles the groom seven times

The bride circling the groom seven times is a custom in many Ashkenazic communities. The custom is performed at the start of the chuppah marriage ceremony, when the couple first enters the chuppah. The bride circles the groom counterclockwise, either three or seven times.

The custom is said to be a "segulah for a good life". There are several reasons for circling seven times:

• The number seven symbolises completion and holiness within time and space. It took God six days to create the world, and on the seventh day, He rested. This day was designated as a holy day. When a couple is about to start a new life together, the symbolism of seven is reflected in the marriage ceremony.
• The seven circuits represent the seven wedding blessings and demonstrate that the groom is the centre of the bride's life.
• The number seven has spiritual significance in the Jewish religion. It represents a seven-fold bond that marriage will establish between the couple and their families.
• The seven circuits also recall the seven times Joshua walked around the ancient city of Jericho before its walls fell and the Israelites captured it. Similarly, after the bride circles the groom seven times, the walls between them will fall and their souls will unite.
• The seven circuits correspond to the seven times the Tefillin straps are wrapped around a man's arm. Just as a man binds himself in love to God, so does his bond in love with his bride.
• The number seven represents the completion of the seven-day process in which the earth was created. During these seven days, the earth revolved on its axis seven times. The bride's encirclement symbolises these seven rotations.

The groom smashes a glass

The number of bridesmaids at a Jewish wedding depends on the couple's preferences and the level of religious observance. While some sources suggest that the idea of "attendants" is more common in American and/or Christian weddings, it is not unheard of to have bridesmaids and groomsmen at Jewish weddings, especially in less religious or more secular settings.

Now, for the moment you've been waiting for: the groom smashes a glass! This is a time-honoured tradition at Jewish weddings and is usually done by the groom alone, although some couples may choose to break the glass together. This symbolic act typically concludes the wedding ceremony and is often followed by the joyous exclamation of "Mazel Tov!" by the guests.

The breaking of the glass holds significant meaning in Jewish culture. It serves as a reminder of the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, which was a pivotal event in Jewish history. By incorporating this ritual into the wedding, the couple and their community acknowledge the enduring resilience and hope of the Jewish people. The act of smashing the glass also symbolises the seriousness of the marriage commitment, reminding the couple that relationships, like glass, are fragile and must be handled with care.

The shattered glass is not swept away immediately. Instead, it is left as a visual reminder during the wedding reception, emphasising the importance of the ceremony that has just taken place. The shards of glass may also be used in a creative way, such as being placed into a picture frame or a piece of art that the couple can display in their home as a lasting memento of their special day.

While the act of breaking the glass is brief, it carries profound significance and adds a unique touch to Jewish wedding traditions. It is a moment that guests eagerly anticipate and one that the couple will forever cherish as they begin their new life together.

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