Bridesmaids' Opinions: To Ask Or Ignore?

Planning a wedding is stressful, and it's important to manage your bridesmaids' expectations. Bridesmaids are expected to pay for their attire, accessories, travel, and accommodation, so it's good etiquette to allow them some input on what they wear. While the bride has the final say on the look she wants for her wedding, it's important that the bridesmaids like the dresses and feel comfortable. The bride could ask each bridesmaid for their preference or collectively agree on a style and shade. Alternatively, the bride could give a colour and length and let the bridesmaids choose their own dresses.

Bridesmaids' input on attire

When it comes to bridesmaids' attire, there are a few things to keep in mind to ensure that everyone is happy and comfortable. While the bride usually has the final say on the dress style, fabric, or colour, it is good etiquette to allow the bridesmaids to have some input and flexibility. Here are some tips for navigating bridesmaid dress choices:

Discuss Budgets

It is essential to have open and honest conversations about budgets early on. Bridesmaids will be investing their time and energy into the wedding, so it is important to be transparent about financial expectations. The bride may consider subsidising part of the cost if the dress is outside some bridesmaids' budgets.

Start Looking Early

It is recommended that the bride has an idea of the dresses at least seven to eight months before the wedding. This gives bridesmaids enough time to order their dresses and make any necessary alterations.

Be Mindful of Body Types

Take your bridesmaids' body shapes and comfort levels into account when selecting dress silhouettes. If your heart is set on a specific silhouette, consider allowing custom alterations to ensure your bridesmaids feel comfortable and confident.

Provide Guidelines

If you want your bridesmaids to have mismatched dresses, provide them with guidelines such as colour, fabric, and length. This will ensure a cohesive look while allowing them to express their unique personalities and find something that suits their body type and budget.

Try Before You Buy

The bride should try on the dress herself to ensure it is comfortable and flattering. This will also show consideration for her bridesmaids and help her understand any concerns they may have.

Be Flexible

If you are giving your bridesmaids freedom to choose their own dresses, be sure to communicate any preferences clearly. For example, if you want everyone in chiffon or a particular detail, let them know.

Constructive Feedback

Bridesmaids should feel free to express their preferences, but it is important to be respectful and constructive. For example, instead of saying you dislike a colour, explain that it doesn't work with your skin tone.

Accessories

Allow your bridesmaids to accessorise in their own way. This will give your bridal party a modern vibe and let each person express their unique personality.

Remember, it is an honour to be asked to be a bridesmaid, and the most important thing is to support the bride and ensure she has the wedding of her dreams.

Planning the bridal shower

Planning a bridal shower can be a fun and exciting experience, and here's a step-by-step guide to help you create a memorable event.

Choose the Host(s)

Traditionally, the maid of honour takes the lead in planning the bridal shower, with support from the bridesmaids. However, anyone close to the bride, including family and friends, can host. It is becoming more common for the mother of the bride or groom to host as well. If you're unsure who should host, consider the bride's preferences and what type of shower she would like.

Decide on a Budget

The host(s) are typically responsible for the cost of the bridal shower. Discuss how much each person is comfortable spending and set a budget that works for everyone involved. This will guide your planning decisions and ensure no one feels financially burdened.

Consult the Bride

While it's not necessary to involve the bride in every detail, it's a good idea to consult her on some key aspects. Discuss the type of shower she envisions, her preferred theme, date, time, and guest list. This will ensure that the event aligns with her expectations and that she feels celebrated.

Create a Guest List

The guest list for the bridal shower should include the bride's closest family and friends. It is considered good etiquette to only invite people who are also invited to the wedding. Be mindful of the budget and the venue's capacity when finalising the guest list.

Pick a Theme

Selecting a theme is not mandatory, but it can add a special touch to the event. Choose a theme that reflects the bride's personality and interests. Some popular theme ideas include a bridal tea party, a spa day, or a specific colour or season-based theme.

Choose a Venue and Set a Date

Bridal showers can be held at various locations, such as a host's home, a restaurant, an outdoor space, or a venue that ties into the theme. Consider the number of guests and the budget when selecting a venue. Once you've chosen the venue, set a date that works for the bride and the VIP guests. The bridal shower is typically held two to three months before the wedding, but it can be closer to the wedding if needed.

Send Out Invitations

It is recommended to send out invitations six to eight weeks before the bridal shower. Include essential details such as the date, time, location, and any theme or gift-giving instructions. Don't forget to include RSVP information and a deadline for responses.

Plan the Menu and Decorations

Discuss food and drink options with the host(s) and decide on a menu that fits within the budget. Consider the time of day and the theme when planning the menu. Also, start planning decorations and any special touches to personalise the event for the bride.

Organise Entertainment

Bridal showers often include games and activities to keep guests entertained. Traditional games like "Two Truths and a Lie" or "Wedding Jeopardy" are always fun. You can also plan unique activities like a wine-tasting party or a cooking class.

Finalise the Details

In the weeks leading up to the bridal shower, confirm all the details with the venue and vendors. Purchase any decorations, favours, and supplies you may need. Create a timeline for the day-of, including gift-opening, games, food service, and any other activities.

Remember to maintain open communication between all the planners and the bride to ensure a smooth and enjoyable planning process. Happy planning!

Bachelorette party planning

Planning a bachelorette party is one of the most fun parts of being a bridesmaid, but it can take a lot of effort. Here are some tips to help you plan an amazing pre-wedding celebration for the bride-to-be.

Involving the Bride

While the bridesmaids should be doing most of the planning, it's important to get the bride's input on certain things. Ask her about her budget, the dates and location she has in mind, and the activities she would like to do. It's also a good idea to get her approval on the guest list, as the bachelorette party is a more intimate event for the bride to spend quality time with her closest friends and family.

Budget

Be mindful of everyone's budget, especially if people are travelling long distances. Create a group chat with all the attendees to get a sense of what everyone is comfortable spending, so that you can plan activities that won't leave anyone out of pocket.

Timing

The bachelorette party should take place anywhere from four months to one month before the wedding. This gives enough time for the excitement to carry over to the wedding, without being so close that the bride is overwhelmed with wedding planning.

Guest List

The bachelorette party guest list should include the bridal party, close friends, and family. There is no limit to the number of people celebrating the bride, and it's a great opportunity for the bridal party to get to know each other. However, be mindful that a large party may hurt the feelings of those who aren't invited.

Activities

The activities should be focused on celebrating the bride and her partner, and showering her with love and joy. They should also be somewhat related to the wedding itself, but be careful not to embarrass the bride or any of the guests with the games and trivia. If the bride isn't into partying hard, plan a relaxing trip to a vineyard or a spa weekend.

Paying for the Party

Traditionally, each attendee pays their way through the celebration and chips in to cover the cost of the bride. However, if it's a multi-day affair that requires travel, it's more common for the bride to pay her way, especially for transportation and lodging.

Budgeting for bridesmaids

Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it can also be a major financial commitment. Before accepting the role, it's important to evaluate your financial status and set a budget. Here are some tips to help you budget for the costs of being a bridesmaid:

Evaluate your financial status:

Before accepting the role of a bridesmaid, it is important to evaluate your financial situation. Consider the costs of being a bridesmaid, such as bachelorette travel, matching outfits, and shower decorations. If these costs are beyond your budget, it is okay to politely decline the invitation. There are other ways to celebrate the couple, such as sending a gift or participating in the wedding in a different capacity.

Create a budget:

Once you have accepted the role, create a personal budget for yourself. Be sure to include all the expected costs, such as gifts, travel, and the bridesmaid dress. If possible, start saving in advance to help offset some of the expenses.

Keep track of your spending:

Use a spreadsheet or budgeting apps to keep track of your spending. This will help you stay organised and ensure you don't overspend.

Name your savings account:

Consider creating a separate savings account specifically for your bridesmaid expenses. This will help you visualise your savings goal and ensure you don't dip into your general savings.

Budget for big-ticket items first:

Prioritise budgeting for the larger expenses such as the bridesmaid dress, bachelorette party, and gifts. These costs are typically harder to save on, so it's important to plan for them first.

Shop around:

Do your research to find the best deals on dresses, travel, and gifts. Consider buying used or renting when possible to cut down on expenses.

Communicate:

If you are unable to participate in certain wedding events due to financial constraints, communicate this to the bride and offer alternative suggestions. For example, if you can't attend a bachelorette party in a far-flung location, offer to take the bride out for a local night instead.

Split costs:

Whenever possible, split costs with the other bridesmaids or wedding guests. This can include costs for bridal showers, hotel rooms, transportation, or even gifts.

DIY and use your connections:

Consider making DIY gifts or using your own resources and connections to save money. For example, if you have a friend who is a great cook, ask them to cater the bridal shower or bachelorette party.

Stick to your budget:

It's easy to get carried away with spending when planning events like bridal showers or bachelorette parties. Create a budget for these events and stick to it. If you want to do something that may cost more, offer to pay the difference yourself.

Remember, it's important to be honest about your financial situation and what you can realistically afford. Open communication will help alleviate financial stressors and ensure everyone is on the same page.

Bridesmaids' hair and makeup

There is no one-size-fits-all answer to the question of who pays for bridesmaids' hair and makeup. It is determined by a variety of factors, including the financial situation of the bride and bridesmaids, the cost of the services, and the expectations of the bridesmaids.

If the bride requires the bridesmaids to have their hair and makeup done professionally, it is generally expected that she will cover the cost. This is especially true if the bride has chosen a specific, complex look that cannot be easily achieved through DIY means. In this case, the bride can either cover the entire cost or subsidise it by paying for one service (such as hair or makeup) and allowing the bridesmaids to pay for the other.

If the bride is on a tight budget, there are a few alternatives to offering to pay for professional hair and makeup services. She can give her bridesmaids the option to do their own hair and makeup, or she can ask a talented friend to help any bridesmaids who need assistance. Providing curling wands, flat irons, sprays, and powders for the bridesmaids to use is also an option.

If the bride is requiring her bridesmaids to cover the cost of professional hair and makeup services, it is important that she communicates this expectation clearly and respectfully. It is also recommended that she provide a group chat or a thorough breakdown of her expectations, including price quotes from hair and makeup artists, so that the bridesmaids can plan their budgets accordingly.

Ultimately, the decision of who pays for bridesmaids' hair and makeup should be made with consideration for everyone's financial situation and with clear communication between the bride and her bridesmaids.

Frequently asked questions