Involving Children In Your Wedding Ceremony: Creative Ways

Involving children in your wedding ceremony is a great way to make the day feel special for them and create lasting memories. There are many ways to include children in your wedding, from giving them a role in the bridal party to involving them in rituals and activities. Here are some ideas to make your wedding ceremony inclusive and memorable for the little ones:

- Involve them in the planning process: Cake tasting, creating a playlist for the DJ, dress fittings, and DIY craft projects are all fun ways to make them feel included.

- Assign them roles: Children can be flower girls, ring bearers, bridesmaids, groomsmen, or even invent new titles like Best Kid. They can also do readings, recite poems, perform a song or dance, or be witnesses to the ceremony.

- Include them in rituals: Sand or salt pouring, hand-fasting, ring warming, or a unity candle ceremony are all ways to symbolically unite your new family.

- Special touches: Create a kid-friendly signature drink, include their names on the invitations and wedding website, give them a morning-of gift, or ask them to give a speech or toast.

- First look and first dance: Share a special moment with a first look before the ceremony, and consider having a first dance with your children to dedicate a moment to them.

- Kid-friendly activities: Provide activity kits, set up games, or create a kids' table with fun decorations and treats to keep them entertained during the reception.

Involve them in the wedding planning

Involving children in the wedding planning process can be a fun and meaningful way to make them feel included in your special day. Here are some ideas to get you started:

Involve them in decision-making

Give your child age-appropriate tasks and decisions to make them feel involved. For example, ask their opinion on colour schemes, flowers, or food choices. If they are old enough, you could even ask them to be involved in choosing the music. This could be a fun project for them to take ownership of, creating a playlist for the DJ or band.

Include them in rituals

If you are planning on including rituals in your ceremony, such as a sand or salt pouring ceremony, get your children involved. They could decorate the vessels and stand beside you as you perform the ritual. Alternatively, you could perform a hand-fasting ritual, where your child ties your hands together with ribbon as a symbol of your commitment. Practise this with them a few times beforehand to ensure they feel confident on the day.

DIY projects

Children love crafts, so get them involved in any DIY projects you are doing for the wedding. They could write place cards, decorate mason jars, make bunting, or confetti. If crafts aren't their thing, perhaps they could create a drawing or painting to be displayed at the wedding or used on the wedding website or thank-you cards.

Cake tasting

What child doesn't love cake? Involve your child in the cake-tasting process and ask them for their opinion on flavours and designs.

Dress fittings

If your child is excited about your wedding, consider taking them to a dress fitting or shopping trip. This is a fun way to involve them in the planning process and create special memories.

First dance

Your first dance is a special moment, but it can also be a chance to involve your child. You could let them join you at the end of your first dance, or even have a special family dance with you, your partner, and all of your children. They could also help to pick the song!

Remember, when involving children in the wedding planning process, it is important to be patient, empathetic, and understanding. Their attention span and confidence levels may vary, so adapt your plans accordingly.

Give them a role in the bridal party

There are many ways to give children a role in the bridal party and make them feel like an important part of the wedding. Here are some ideas to include and honour them:

Flower Girls and Ring Bearers

For younger children, traditional roles such as flower girls or ring bearers are always a cute option. If they are very young, consider pairing them with a bridesmaid or family member, so they have someone to hold their hand or carry them if needed.

Bridesmaids and Groomsmen

Older children can be included as bridesmaids, groomsmen, maids of honour, or best men. You can also get creative with titles and appoint them as Best Lady, Best Dude, or Best Kid. This will make them feel special and valued.

Family Vows

In addition to the traditional vows between the couple, consider including family vows. This is a heart-warming way to include children in the ceremony. The parents can make vows to their children, and the children can make vows to their parents and even to each other if there are multiple children.

Ring and Veil Holders

Children can be given the important task of holding the wedding rings or the bride's veil. This will make them feel trusted and involved in the ceremony.

Escort the Couple

Another role for children is to escort the couple, either the bride or the groom, as they walk down the aisle. This can be a memorable moment for both the child and the couple, creating a special bond.

Witnesses

If the children are old enough, they can act as witnesses and sign the marriage licence. This role carries a lot of responsibility and will make them feel truly included in the ceremony.

Include them in a unity ceremony

Unity ceremonies are a wonderful way to include children in your wedding ceremony. Here are some ideas to make this part of the celebration special and memorable:

Sand Unity Ceremony

One of the most popular unity ceremonies is the sand pouring ritual. This involves the couple pouring two separate containers of coloured sand into one, symbolising the blending of two lives. This can easily be adapted to include children, with each family member having their own colour of sand, resulting in a heartfelt representation of the family unit.

Lighting a Unity Candle

The unity candle ceremony is another well-loved tradition. Typically, the couple lights a single candle from two smaller taper candles, but children can be included in the lighting ceremony too. To make it extra special, ask family members to light the smaller candles before passing them to the couple and their children.

Tree Planting Unity Ceremony

Planting a tree together during the ceremony is a lovely way to symbolise the growth of your love and family. Each person adds soil to a pot, perhaps from their hometown, and waters the plant. This natural, eco-friendly ritual is a beautiful expression of unity and can be adapted to include children.

Handfasting Unity Ceremony

Handfasting ceremonies are rooted in Celtic tradition, where a couple's hands are bound together to symbolise the union of two lives. This ritual can be included in any religious or secular wedding and is a wonderful way to involve children. The officiant can loosely fasten the hands of the couple and their children, symbolising their commitment to each other as a family.

Blending Families Ceremony

If you are blending two families, you can give your children a special gift or ring during the ceremony. The officiant can pray over the new family, and children can be called forward to participate in rituals such as planting a tree or pouring sand together.

Give them a special gift

Giving your child a thoughtful gift on your wedding day is a great way to make them feel special and involved in the celebrations. Here are some ideas for how to do this:

Gift Timing

Firstly, consider when you want to give the gift. Presenting your child with a gift on the morning of your wedding is a great chance to pause and take a moment with your child amidst the chaos of the day. Alternatively, you could give them a gift during the ceremony, symbolising your commitment to them as part of your new family.

Gift Ideas

• A piece of jewellery, engraved with the wedding date, or featuring their birthstone.
• A watch, engraved with the wedding date.
• A family heirloom.
• A medallion, charm or other piece of jewellery, presented during the wedding ceremony.
• Something special for them to wear that matches or complements your wedding outfit in some way. For example, if you are wearing a cream-coloured gown, dress your child in the same shade. Or, coordinate through smaller details such as matching hair accessories, bouquets or ribbon sashes. Replica ties, boutonnieres or shoes are also great additions.

Gift Presentation

If you are giving your child a gift during the ceremony, you could incorporate this into a ritual. For example, you could give them a medallion, charm or piece of jewellery as part of a unity ceremony. Alternatively, you could have them bless your wedding rings with a simple kiss or touch.

Have them perform at the wedding

If your child is a performer, there are many ways to incorporate them into your wedding ceremony. Here are some ideas to make your child feel like a star on your special day:

Singing or Playing an Instrument

If your child loves to sing or play a musical instrument, ask them to perform during the ceremony. They can pick a song or piece of music that is meaningful to them and practice beforehand to build excitement for the big day. Their performance will be a memorable moment for you and your guests.

Dancing

If your child is a dancer, they can put on a special performance by themselves or join you during your first dance. Alternatively, you can have a separate parent-child dance after the traditional parent-only dances. If your child is too young to dance, you can carry them and sway to the music.

Reciting a Poem

If your child is a wordsmith, they can recite a poem during the ceremony. This can be a meaningful way for them to express their thoughts and feelings about your wedding.

Choosing a Poem

If your child is not comfortable reciting a poem, they can choose a poem dedicated to you to be printed in the wedding program. This way, they can still contribute creatively without having to perform.

Other Performance Ideas

• If your child is confident, they can make a speech or give a wedding toast.
• They can walk up or down the aisle with you, either hand in hand or by themselves.
• Your child can be involved in a unity ceremony, such as lighting a candle or pouring sand.
• They can be a flower girl or ring bearer, especially if you're having a traditional wedding.
• Your child can be part of the bridal party as a junior bridesmaid, groomsman, maid of honour, or best man.

Remember, it's important to consider your child's age, personality, and comfort level when deciding how to include them in your wedding ceremony. Be prepared to improvise, as kids can be unpredictable!

Frequently asked questions