Delivering A Memorable Best Man Speech: Tone Tips

Being asked to be the best man at a wedding is a tough honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibility. One of the most important duties of a best man is to give a speech. The best man's speech is a chance to say some kind words about the couple and your best friend. Wedding speeches are meant to be quick, lighthearted moments during the reception, so while you should put effort into crafting thoughtful words, you don't have to overthink it.

The best man's speech should be fun and imaginative, with a balance of humour and sincerity. It should be engaging, witty, and delivered with a slightly exaggerated style. It's important to prepare in advance and practise beforehand, but don't worry about memorising your speech word for word. Bring notes or cue cards with bullet points, and don't be afraid to improvise. Remember to smile, relax, and express yourself.

Prepare in advance

Preparing your speech in advance is crucial to delivering a successful best man's speech. Here are some tips to help you get started:

• Start Early: If you have a few weeks before the wedding, begin brainstorming ideas, jotting down thoughts, stories, jokes, and quotes you may want to include.
• Know the Couple: If you don't know much about how the couple met or their relationship, be sure to ask. This will help you craft a meaningful and authentic speech.
• Write it Down: It's a good idea to write out your speech, especially if you're not comfortable speaking in front of people. However, instead of writing it word-for-word, use bullet points to ensure your speech is concise and to-the-point.
• Practice: Spend time rehearsing your speech until you feel comfortable and confident. Record yourself to get feedback and make improvements. Practicing will help you sound more natural and less nervous.
• Memorize Key Points: While it's not necessary to memorize your entire speech, it's helpful to memorize the key points so you can improvise around them. This will make your delivery sound more conversational and engaging.
• Use Notes: Don't rely solely on your memory. Have written notes with you during your speech. It's a sign of preparation and will help you stay on track.
• Choose an Appropriate Format: When it comes to your notes, consider using old-school A4 paper instead of a device. Devices can be clumsier and may distract from your speech.

Remember, the key to a successful best man's speech is preparation. Start early, practice often, and you'll be well on your way to delivering a memorable and engaging speech.

Be sincere

Being sincere is a crucial aspect of delivering an effective best man speech. Here are some tips to achieve sincerity and capture the hearts of your audience:

Be Yourself

It's essential to be genuine and authentic when delivering your speech. Avoid trying to be someone you're not. If you're typically not the funny type, don't force jokes or attempt to be a stand-up comedian. Embrace your natural style, whether it's heartfelt, sentimental, or lighthearted. The couple and guests know your personality, so authenticity will shine through and be appreciated.

Speak from the Heart

Deliver your speech with genuine emotion. Share how you feel about the couple and let your sincerity shine through. A shorter speech filled with honest sentiments will always outshine a longer, scripted one. Focus on celebrating your friend's happiness and welcoming a new member to your extended family.

Share Meaningful Stories

Instead of solely aiming for laughs, strive for a balance of humour and sincerity. Share meaningful anecdotes that showcase the groom's character, values, and friendship. Choose light-hearted stories that are appropriate and not embarrassing. For example, you could recount a humorous incident where the groom's shyness caused a funny situation, and then transition to talking about how his bride is bubbly and outgoing, making them a perfect team.

Avoid Inside Jokes

Refrain from inside jokes that only a few people will understand. Keep your speech inclusive and engaging for the entire audience. Opt for universal topics and stories that everyone can relate to and enjoy.

Stay Away from Controversial Topics

It's essential to use tact and common sense when crafting your speech. Avoid controversial, offensive, or embarrassing topics. Steer clear of sensitive subjects like past relationships, family issues, or anything that could embarrass the couple or their families. Remember, your goal is to celebrate the couple and make them look good.

Keep it Short and Sweet

A concise speech that respects the audience's time is always appreciated. Aim for around 5-7 minutes to leave the audience wanting more. A well-crafted, brief speech will have a more significant impact than a long-winded one that tests people's attention spans.

Practice Makes Perfect

While being yourself is crucial, it's also essential to prepare and practice your speech. Rehearse your delivery to ensure your words flow naturally. Practice in front of a mirror or with a small group of people to get instant feedback. This will help you refine your speech, improve your confidence, and ensure you stay within the desired time frame.

Remember, sincerity is about connecting with the audience and sharing your true feelings about the couple. Be honest, embrace your unique style, and let your authenticity shine through.

Stay sober

One of the most important things to remember when delivering your best man's speech is to stay sober. While it may be tempting to have a few drinks to calm your nerves, overindulging can lead to a sloppy and embarrassing speech that you—and the wedding guests—will regret.

The key to staying sober is to pace yourself. If you know you're prone to getting carried away when drinking, set a limit for yourself and stick to it. Alternate between alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks, and make sure to eat something before you start drinking. This will help slow the absorption of alcohol and keep you from getting too drunk too quickly.

Another strategy is to choose a drink that you can nurse slowly. Opt for a beer or a cocktail that you can sip on throughout your speech, rather than something stronger that you might be tempted to down in one go. If you're really worried about self-control, ask the bartender to mix you a weak drink or secretly pour your drink into a larger glass so it looks like you're drinking more than you are.

Enlist the help of a trusted friend or family member to keep an eye on you and make sure you don't overdo it. This person can also help distract you if you're feeling nervous or anxious before your speech. Most importantly, remember that it's an honor to be chosen as the best man, and the groom has put his trust in you to deliver a memorable and dignified speech. Stay focused on that responsibility and the joy of the occasion, and you'll be less likely to let drunkenness get the better of you.

Staying sober will ensure that you deliver your speech with clarity and composure, and it will also allow you to fully enjoy the celebration that follows. It only takes a little self-control and discipline to ensure your speech is remembered for all the right reasons.

Thank those who made the day possible

Thanking those who made the day possible is an important part of the best man's speech. It is good to be specific and name individuals, especially the parents of the couple, and offer a toast to them for raising two fine people. It is also important to thank the guests for coming.

"I'd like to begin by expressing my deepest gratitude to the couples' parents for raising such amazing people, who I'm fortunate to call my best friends. I would also like to thank their parents for hosting such an awesome celebration for us all to enjoy this evening."

"Thank you to all those who have made it here today. I am especially glad to be here on this occasion to celebrate this wonderful day with my friend/brother."

"To all of the guests, I want to personally thank you for taking the time to travel here tonight. I know some of you had to take planes or get in the car for several hours to make it, and on behalf of the lovely couple, we're so grateful."

"To the bride and groom's parents, thank you for raising these two amazing people we're all here to celebrate tonight. None of our lives would be the same without them, and that's all thanks to you."

"I want to thank you all for coming and celebrating such a special occasion with us."

Keep it short

Keeping your speech short is one of the most important things to consider when delivering a best man's speech. The guests will have already listened to the father of the bride and maid of honour's speeches and will be keen to eat cake and get on with the celebrations. A good best man's speech should be no more than 1,000 words or around 5-7 minutes long.

If there are multiple speakers, the length of your speech may need to be adjusted. For example, if there are four speakers, aim for around 8 minutes, and for five speakers, around 6 minutes. If you are one of two best men, your speech should be around 12-13 minutes if you are delivering a joint speech, and around 7 minutes if you are giving separate speeches.

The best man's speech should be the last speech before the cake is served, so it is important to keep the guests entertained and not lose their attention. A short speech will also feel more natural and less wooden.

To ensure your speech is the right length, practice it beforehand. You can use a stopwatch to time yourself, or ask friends or family members to listen to your speech and give you feedback. Practising will also help you feel more confident and less nervous on the day.

Frequently asked questions