Asking Your Best Mate To Be Your Best Man

While it is less common for women to propose to men, it is certainly not unheard of, and there is nothing wrong with a woman taking the initiative. If you're thinking of popping the question, it's important to be sure that you're ready for marriage and that your partner is on the same page. Have conversations about your future together and ensure that marriage is something you both want. When it comes to the proposal itself, make it about your partner and what they enjoy. Incorporate their hobbies and interests, and consider planning it around a special event or location that is meaningful to them. You might also want to include a symbolic gift, like a watch or a ring, but this is not necessary. Ultimately, the most important thing is that your proposal is sincere and heartfelt.

Finalise your decision and be confident

Marriage is a big step, so you want to be sure that you're taking that step for the right reasons—because you've found someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. You don't want your proposal to be the first time you and your partner have ever discussed marriage. While the proposal itself might be a surprise, the question shouldn't shock your partner.

Talk about marriage with your partner. You should know how they feel about a committed relationship before popping the question. You don't necessarily have to talk about it in terms of the two of you, but it's important to know their position on this very important topic. Pay attention to how they view the future. If they use terms like "we" and "us" when talking about their future plans, or if you live together, own a pet together, or have moved in together, they are likely committed to you.

You'll also want to do some soul-searching to make sure that you're ready to be a spouse and that your partner is the one you'd like to marry.

Once you've decided that you're ready to propose, be confident in your decision. Remember, there is no right way or right person to propose.

Decide on a ring (or not)

Deciding whether or not to propose with a ring is a personal decision that depends on your partner's preferences. While most marriage proposals involve an engagement ring, not all do. Your partner may have expressed that they don't want a ring or would prefer a family heirloom. It's important to consider their wishes and choose an option that aligns with their desires.

If you decide to propose with a ring, there are a few factors to keep in mind. Firstly, be discreet when obtaining their ring size. You can do this by taking one of their existing rings to a jewellery shop for sizing or asking a friend to take them ring shopping. Alternatively, you can take your partner shopping for a ring for yourself and use the opportunity to find out their size.

When selecting the ring, consider your partner's style and lifestyle. Choose a design that suits their unique taste and personality. If they have an active lifestyle or work with their hands, opt for durable materials such as tungsten carbide, titanium, or black zirconium. You can also add a personal touch by including engravings or choosing a ring with a meaningful stone.

Remember, the most important aspect of the proposal is expressing your love and commitment. Whether you choose to include a ring or not, make sure that your partner feels special and valued during this memorable moment.

Make arrangements for the proposal

Now that you've decided to propose to your best man, it's time to start planning the details of your proposal. Here are some tips to help you make arrangements for a memorable and meaningful proposal:

How to Propose:

Think of your proposal as a scene in a movie. Consider how you want to pop the question and what kind of setting you want to create. Will it be a private moment between the two of you, or will you involve family and friends? Will you propose in a way that incorporates his hobbies or interests? For example, if he loves fishing, you could plan a fishing excursion and put a note in the tackle box that says "Will you be my best man?" Or if he's a music fan, you could propose at a concert or a place where his favourite band performs.

Where to Propose:

Choose a location that is meaningful to both of you. It could be the place where you first met, your favourite restaurant, or a spot that holds special memories for both of you. If your best man is an outdoorsy type, consider proposing during a hike or at the beach, where you can also involve family and friends in the celebration.

When to Propose:

Timing is crucial. Choose a time when your best man is relaxed and open to making a big decision. Avoid times when he's stressed about work or other commitments. Consider if there is a specific day or time of day that holds significance for him, and try to incorporate that into your proposal plans.

What to Say:

Prepare what you want to say during the proposal. While it's good to have a plan, don't over-rehearse it, as you want it to feel natural and heartfelt. Start by reminiscing about your relationship and the memories you've shared. Then, lead into why you're there and what he means to you. Finally, pop the question! You can keep it simple with a straightforward "Will you be my best man?" or add a more personalised twist, such as "I can't imagine my wedding day without you by my side. Will you be my best man?"

Involving Others:

If you plan to involve others in your proposal, such as family, friends, or even pets, make sure they know their roles and keep the secret! You don't want your surprise to be ruined.

Remember, the most important thing is to make your proposal sincere and tailored to your best man's personality and interests. Good luck with your proposal!

Decide what to say when you propose

Now that you've decided to propose to your best man, it's time to think about what you'll say during this special moment. Here are some tips to help you craft the perfect proposal speech:

Start with an Introduction

Begin your speech by setting the scene and providing some context. You can mention the location and bring up fond memories you share with your best man. For example, you could say something like, "Remember when we came here for our fourth date? I could tell even then that you were someone special, and I wanted to spend more time with you." This will help create a romantic and nostalgic atmosphere.

Lead into the Proposal

In this section, you can talk about your relationship and your future together. You might say something like, "We've been talking about our future a lot lately, and I can't imagine my life without you by my side." This is your chance to express your love and commitment. You can also mention specific moments or experiences that have strengthened your bond.

Pop the Question

This is the moment you've been building up to! You can go with the classic "Will you marry me?" or try something more modern like, "I'd love for you to be my husband/wife/partner." You can even get creative and incorporate singing, a billboard, or a jumbotron if you want to make it extra memorable. Just make sure that your question is clear and easy to understand.

Prepare a Few Lines in Advance

It's a good idea to have some key phrases or lines prepared in advance to help you stay focused and avoid fumbling for words. You could say something like, "We have so many wonderful memories together, and I want all my future memories to include you as well." Or, "I have this amazing day planned for us, and I just can't wait any longer. I want us to spend it together as more than just friends." These lines will help build up to the big question and make your intentions clear.

Keep it Simple and Sincere

While you might be tempted to write a lengthy speech or poem, remember that simplicity is often best. Your best man will appreciate sincerity and authenticity. Focus on expressing why you want to spend the rest of your life with them, and why you think they're the one for you. You don't need to overcomplicate it with flowery language or elaborate metaphors. Just speak from the heart.

Remember, this is just a guide, and you can adapt it to fit your personality and relationship. The most important thing is to be yourself and let your love shine through. Good luck with your proposal!

Determine how to photograph your proposal

Capturing your proposal through photographs is a great way to immortalise the moment and relive the memories. Here are some tips on how to photograph your proposal:

Hiring a Professional Photographer

If you want to ensure high-quality photos of your proposal, consider hiring a professional photographer. They can help you plan the proposal, suggest locations, and advise on timing. A professional photographer will also be able to capture the moment discreetly, without giving away the surprise.

Planning the Photography

Whether you hire a professional or do it yourself, planning the photography is essential. Consider the location, timing, and any specific shots you want to capture. If you're taking the photos yourself, practice setting up the camera and tripod beforehand, so you're familiar with the process on the day.

Equipment

For the best results, use a camera with an intervalometer, which allows you to take photos at specified intervals. If you're using a smartphone, get an advanced camera app. Make sure you have enough storage space, especially if you plan to shoot in RAW format, which preserves more image detail.

Framing the Shot

Position the camera to capture both the proposer and the proposee's profiles, as well as the surrounding environment, to tell a complete story in one shot. If possible, use a long telephoto lens, such as a 70-200mm 2.8, to capture close-up shots without intruding on the moment.

Before the Proposal

If possible, do a walkthrough of the proposal location beforehand to ensure the setup is perfect. This includes checking the lighting, testing camera angles, and deciding on the proposer's position. If you're working with a professional photographer, they can help you with these details and suggest improvements to your plan.

During the Proposal

If you're taking the photos yourself, make sure to start shooting as soon as the couple is in sight. Don't worry about the bride hearing the shutter—most modern cameras have a silent setting. Continue shooting throughout the proposal, capturing the progression of emotions.

After the Proposal

Once the proposal is over, the photographer (or you, if you're taking the photos yourself) should emerge and introduce themselves to the newly engaged couple. It's a good idea to take some "newly engaged" photos at this point, as the couple will likely be glowing with happiness.

Remember, while photography is important, the most crucial aspect of the proposal is the moment itself, so ensure your planning doesn't detract from the surprise and emotion of the event.

Frequently asked questions