Best Man's Guide To Giving A Memorable Wedding Toast

Being the best man at a wedding is an honour and a responsibility. It's also a chance to give a speech and toast to celebrate the happy couple. While it can be nerve-wracking to speak in front of a room full of people, with the right preparation, you can deliver a memorable and heartfelt toast. Here are some tips to help you craft the perfect wedding toast as the best man:

- Understand the purpose of a wedding toast: At its core, a wedding toast is a gesture of love and support for the newlyweds. It's an opportunity to share your feelings, memories, and wishes for the couple as they embark on their new journey together.

- Structure your toast: A well-structured toast helps you deliver your message clearly and keeps the audience engaged. You can choose from various approaches, such as chronological, theme-based, or problem-solution. Include an introduction, share anecdotes or thoughts about the couple, and conclude with congratulations and well wishes.

- Add personality and humour: Include personal stories, memories, and anecdotes that highlight the couple's best qualities and showcase their love and compatibility. Strike a balance between humour and sentimentality to capture the audience's attention and make your speech memorable.

- Tailor your toast to the couple: The nature of your relationship with the couple should influence the content and tone of your toast. If you're the best man, share personal stories about your friendship with the groom and offer insights into their relationship.

- Practice and rehearse: Confidence is key, so make sure to practice your speech multiple times in front of a mirror or trusted friends. Record yourself to identify areas for improvement and time your speech to ensure it stays concise and engaging.

- Avoid common pitfalls: Steer clear of inside jokes, offensive humour, rambling, and mentioning exes. Keep your speech simple and heartfelt, and avoid drinking alcohol beforehand.

Keep it short and sweet

As the best man, you might feel pressure to deliver a wedding toast that is memorable, funny, and heartfelt all at once. But remember, you're not giving a lengthy speech; your goal is to keep it short and sweet. Here are some tips to help you strike the perfect balance:

Brevity is Key: Aim for a toast that lasts around 3-5 minutes. This may not seem like much time, but it's ample for a concise and impactful message. You don't want to ramble or risk losing your audience's attention.

Highlight One or Two Themes: Focus on one or two main themes or stories. This could be a funny anecdote about the groom or a heartwarming tale about the couple. By sticking to a select few themes, you can avoid digressing and keep your toast tight and cohesive.

Prepare in Advance: Write down your thoughts and practice beforehand. Preparing a written outline or script ensures you don't veer off-topic and helps you gauge the timing. Practicing aloud allows you to refine your delivery and make sure your message stays within the desired time frame.

Resist the Urge to Over-Indulge: While it's customary to raise a glass, avoid getting carried away with multiple drinks before your toast. You want to be relaxed, but maintaining clarity and focus is essential to keeping your message concise and appropriate.

Edit and Refine: After writing your initial draft, go back and edit ruthlessly. Cut any unnecessary words or phrases that don't add value to your message. Simplify complex sentences and opt for a more straightforward delivery. Every word should count, and your message should be easy for the audience to follow.

By embracing brevity and focusing on quality over quantity, you'll deliver a wedding toast that is memorable, well-received, and, most importantly, short and sweet. Remember, sometimes less is more!

Include a joke, but don't be offensive

Including a joke in your wedding toast is a great way to engage the audience and set a lighthearted tone for your speech. However, it's important to be cautious and avoid offensive humour. Here are some tips to help you include humour in your best man's wedding toast without causing offence:

Choose Appropriate Humour

Select jokes that are tasteful, clean, and suitable for all ages. Avoid anything that could be considered offensive, politically incorrect, or mean-spirited. Steer clear of adult topics, and if you do make subtle references, do so in good taste and keep the examples lighthearted. Avoid bathroom humour and steer clear of jokes about exes, strip clubs, pornography, or anything related to sex, drugs, or gambling.

Avoid Inside Jokes

Inside jokes can alienate your audience and make people feel left out. Stick to universal topics and inclusive stories or jokes that everyone can understand and relate to. If you do include an inside joke, provide enough context so that everyone can follow along.

Test Your Material

Before the wedding, test your material on a friend or family member to get their feedback. This will help you gauge whether your jokes are funny and appropriate. Ask yourself, "Should I say this?" If you have any doubts, it's best to leave it out.

Keep It Brief

A long-winded joke can lose the attention of your audience. Keep your jokes brief and concise. Focus on delivering a quick punchline or witty one-liner that will get everyone laughing without derailing your speech.

Use Misdirection

A clever way to surprise your audience and add humour to your toast is to use misdirection. Start a story that seems to be going in one direction, and then twist it in an unexpected way. For example, you could begin by describing the groom's positive attributes and then reveal that you're actually describing yourself.

Include Lighthearted Anecdotes

Share a funny anecdote or story about the groom or the couple. It could be a memorable moment from their childhood, adolescence, or young adulthood. Make sure the story is appropriate and reflects well on the couple. You could also include a charming anecdote about the first time you met the bride or how the groom told you about their plans to propose.

Use Opposites

Highlight the differences between the couple in a lighthearted way. For example, if the bride loves French fries and the groom is allergic to potatoes, you can use this contrast to illustrate their unique qualities while also showing how they complement each other.

Remember, the key to including humour in your best man's wedding toast is to be respectful, tasteful, and mindful of your audience. Keep your jokes appropriate and brief, and always test your material beforehand to ensure they land well.

Share a story or two about the couple

Sharing stories about the couple is a great way to make your wedding toast more personal and engaging. Here are some tips and ideas to help you craft this section of your best man speech:

Choose Appropriate Stories

Select stories that highlight the couple's best qualities, their love, and compatibility. Ensure the anecdotes are appropriate for all audience members, including older relatives and children. Avoid sharing embarrassing stories or jokes that might offend or make others uncomfortable. Steer clear of stories involving ex-boyfriends, ex-girlfriends, or bachelor party exploits.

Include Funny and Heartfelt Moments

A mix of humour and sentimentality will make your speech memorable. Funny stories and light-hearted anecdotes can capture the audience's attention and make them smile, while heartfelt moments can add depth and emotion to your toast.

Share Insights into Their Characters and Relationship

As the best man, you have a unique perspective on the couple's relationship. Share how the groom has changed since meeting the bride and express your happiness at seeing your friend so joyful. You can also talk about how the couple met and progressed through significant moments in their relationship, leading up to their wedding day.

Offer Wisdom or Advice

As someone close to the couple, you may want to offer some words of wisdom for a happy marriage. This could be in the form of a quote, a poem, or simply your own thoughts and well-wishes.

Example Stories

• "I knew Matt was head over heels for Jenna when he started spending more time with her than he did with his buddies and his Xbox."
• "Don has always been there for me since we met in third grade. Our friendship has had its ups and downs, but we remain close friends. I'm honoured to stand here today and raise a glass to him and his bride, Samantha."
• "I wish Brian and Amanda a lifetime of happiness, joy, and love. May they always find comfort and support in their friends and family, and in each other."
• "I remember when Josh first introduced me to Mindy. He said, 'She's perfect for me. She even plays guitar.' And looking at them today, it's clear that they are meant to be."

Thank the bridesmaids

Thanking the bridesmaids is not a requirement for the best man, but it is a thoughtful idea. Here are some suggestions for how to include this in your speech:

Short and Sweet

Keep your toast concise and direct. You could say something like:

> "The beautiful bridesmaids have been amazing. Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like you all to raise your glasses. I give you… the bridesmaids."

> "I would like to say a special thank you to the bridesmaids, who have been wonderful throughout the day. Ladies and gentlemen, please raise your glasses."

Share a Story

You could also choose to share a short, appropriate story or anecdote about the bridesmaids. Perhaps something funny that will capture the audience's attention and make your speech more memorable. Just be sure to choose a story that showcases the bridesmaids' best qualities and is relevant to the couple and their love story.

Offer a Compliment

You could also pay the bridesmaids a sincere compliment. For example, you could say something like:

> "I'd like to thank the bridesmaids, who look absolutely stunning today and have been a fantastic support to [Bride's name] throughout the day. Please raise your glasses to these wonderful women."

Combine with Other Thank Yous

If you want to keep your speech short, you could combine your thanks to the bridesmaids with your thanks to other people, such as the parents of the bride and groom, the wedding party, or the couple themselves. For example:

> "I'd like to take a moment to thank the bridesmaids, the groomsmen, and the parents of the bride and groom for all their help and support in making today so special. Please raise your glasses to these wonderful people."

Remember, while thanking the bridesmaids is not a requirement, it can be a lovely addition to your speech and is usually well-received. Just be sure to check with the groom beforehand to ensure you're not doubling up on toasts.

Congratulate the couple

Congratulating the couple is an essential part of the best man's wedding speech. Here are some tips and ideas to help you craft this section of your toast:

Structure and Content

Begin by introducing yourself and explaining your relationship to the couple. You can also mention how long you have known the groom. For example: "I'm Jack, Josh's best man, and it's an honour to be standing here today. I've been Josh's best friend for the last 27 years, and I will treasure this honour forever."

Share 2-3 anecdotes, thoughts, or stories about the couple. Opt for stories that highlight their best qualities and showcase their love and compatibility. If possible, include a story that many guests can relate to and try to balance humour with sentimentality. You could say something like: "I knew Matt found The One in Jenna when he started spending more time with her than he did with his buddies and his Xbox."

Offer congratulations and best wishes for their future. You might say: "Now, everyone, please raise your glasses and join me in a toast. To Mindy and Josh: May you be friends to each other as only lovers can, and may you love each other as only best friends can. Congratulations!"

Other Considerations

Keep your toast short and to the point. While you might have a lot you want to say, the guests are there to celebrate, not listen to lengthy speeches.

Pay the bride a sincere compliment. However, steer clear of any embarrassing stories or topics involving exes or bachelor party exploits that the couple may not want to hear on their wedding day.

Add a thank-you. Thank the couple for bestowing this honour upon you, and thank their parents for hosting the wedding.

End on a high note. Summarise your main points, offer a heartfelt wish for the couple's future, and invite everyone to raise their glasses and join you in a toast.

Frequently asked questions