Involving Grandparents In Your Wedding: Invitation Ideas And Etiquette

When it comes to wedding invitations, there are many ways to include grandparents. Traditionally, the bride's parents are listed as hosts on the invitation, but today it's common to see both sets of parents or even all grandparents included. If you want to honour your grandparents in this way, you can add a line such as Together with their families before listing the names of the happy couple. It is also acceptable to list a grandparent as the sole host of the event if they are a widow or widower.

Include grandparents' names on the invitation

Including your grandparents' names on your wedding invitations is a lovely way to honour them and their role in your life. Here are some tips and suggestions for doing so:

Tradition and Etiquette

It is traditional in some cultures, such as Belgium, to include the names of the grandparents of both the bride and groom on the wedding invitation. This is often done to recognise their financial contribution to the wedding. If you are from a culture with this tradition, it is a thoughtful way to show respect to your grandparents.

Wording and Formatting

When including grandparents' names on the invitation, it is essential to use the correct wording and formatting for clarity and etiquette. Here is an example of how to word the invitation:

> Mr. and Mrs. [Bride's parents' names], together with their parents, Mr. and Mrs. [Bride's maternal grandparents' names] and Mr. and Mrs. [Bride's paternal grandparents' names], request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter and granddaughter [Bride's full name] to [Groom's full name], son of Mr. and Mrs. [Groom's parents' names] on [date] at [time].

This wording ensures that all sets of grandparents are acknowledged and respected.

Inner and Outer Envelopes

When addressing the envelopes, it is essential to maintain a formal tone on the outer envelope, using full names and proper titles. For the inner envelope, you have more flexibility, and it is acceptable to use "Grandma and Grandpa" or a similar variation if that is what you call them. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. James Lastname" on the outer envelope and "Grandma and Grandpa Lastname" on the inner envelope.

Save-the-Dates

Save-the-dates are more informal than wedding invitations, but it is still important to maintain a level of formality, especially for older relatives. Use your grandparents' names or "Mr. and Mrs. Lastname" on save-the-dates, rather than "Grandma and Grandpa."

Including your grandparents' names on your wedding invitations is a meaningful way to honour them and their support. By following these guidelines, you can ensure that your invitations are both respectful and personalised.

Involve grandparents in the ceremony

There are many ways to involve your grandparents in your wedding ceremony. Here are some ideas to make them feel extra loved and included:

Pre-wedding

If you are close with your grandparents, consider inviting your grandmother to get ready with you. You could have your mother help you with your dress and then ask your grandmother to help with your jewellery. You could also do a first look with your grandparents before the ceremony, so they can see you in your wedding attire and appreciate your full look.

During the ceremony

Ask your grandmother to walk down the aisle as your flower girl. If your grandma has a good sense of humour, this could be a fun and memorable way to include her. You could also ask your grandfather to be your ring bearer.

You could also invite a grandparent to do a special reading during the ceremony. Ask them to choose a reading that is meaningful to them, or a passage that was included in their own wedding.

Your wedding attire

Consider wearing a piece of your grandmother's wedding day wardrobe, whether it is a part of her dress, her earrings, or a brooch. Incorporating a piece of your grandparent's attire is a touching way to include them in your special day.

Their words of wisdom

Ask your grandparents to write a letter to you and your partner with advice for your future. Set aside time during your wedding day to read the letter together.

In their absence

If your grandparents are no longer with you, there are still ways to include them in the ceremony. You could leave a seat open for them and place flowers on the seat. You could also light a candle at the altar and include a note in your program explaining that it is in remembrance of your grandparent.

The wedding procession

If your grandparents are in attendance, they can be seated before the processional if they are unable to walk down the aisle. The groom's grandparents are usually seated first, followed by the bride's grandparents.

Honour deceased grandparents

Honouring deceased grandparents at a wedding is a wonderful way to feel their presence on a special day. Here are some ideas to include their memory in a celebration of love:

During the Ceremony

• Leave a chair open: Leaving a seat open at the front is a way to remember that your grandparents are watching over you. You could place a framed photo of them with a flower on the seat or a place of honour.
• Light a memorial candle: In many cultures, candle lighting is a beautiful symbol of unity. You could light a candle at the start of the ceremony to signify your grandparents' spirits being present.
• Write a message in the programs: If you're printing a program, include a short tribute to your grandparents. It can be as simple as their names with the words "remembering" or "in loving memory".
• Carry a memento with you: You could carry a memento of your grandparents with you, such as a photo charm in your bouquet, or a piece of their clothing wrapped around the stems.
• Honour their memory in the ceremony: Speak to the officiant about reading quotes, passages, or other tributes to include your grandparents in the ceremony.

During the Reception

• Play their favourite song: Playing their favourite song is a great way to start the party and keep their memory close.
• Create a commemorative presentation: Share slideshows, videos, and memories of your grandparents. You can play this in the background, or with your guests. Include photos, family photos, and special memories.
• Create an 'In Memoriam' table: Reserve a special place at the reception with framed photos of your grandparents and other loved ones. You could also create a memory box where guests can write down their favourite memories.
• Share a sentimental recipe: If your grandparents loved to cook, consider serving one of their recipes. It could be a cherished dessert or a special appetizer they made for family gatherings.
• Display family photos and heirlooms: Showcase some of their favourite belongings, tap into the 'something old, something borrowed' tradition, and proudly display family photos and heirlooms.
• Give wedding favours in their honour: Offer a small gift inspired by something they loved, with a sign explaining the token.
• Donate to their favourite charity: In lieu of gifts, donate to a charity they were passionate about.

Grandparents' roles in the wedding procession

Grandparents can play a variety of roles in a wedding procession, and their inclusion can be a beautiful way to acknowledge their influence on the couple's lives. Here are some ideas for including grandparents in the wedding procession:

Seating Arrangements

It is customary to reserve seats for grandparents near the front, either in the first or second row. The groom's grandparents are typically seated first, followed by the bride's grandparents. If grandparents are unable to walk down the aisle, they can be seated before the processional begins. Ushers can also escort grandparents to their seats, or if the couple has siblings or cousins who are not part of the wedding party, they can be nominated for this role.

Order of Procession

The grandparents of the groom are usually the first to enter, followed by the grandparents of the bride. If both the grandmother and grandfather are present, they can walk down the aisle together. For couples with grandparents who have passed away, consider leaving a seat open for them as a token of remembrance, or light a candle at the altar in their honour.

Special Roles

Grandparents can also take on special roles during the ceremony. Grandmothers can be asked to be flower girls, while grandfathers can be ring bearers. Another option is to invite a grandparent to do a special reading during the ceremony, perhaps a passage that was included in their own wedding. Grandparents can also be involved in pre-wedding festivities, such as helping the bride get ready or offering words of wisdom for the couple's future.

Incorporating Heirlooms

A meaningful way to include grandparents is to wear or carry a piece of their wedding day wardrobe or jewellery. Whether it's the grandmother's dress, earrings, or a brooch, incorporating a family heirloom into the wedding day look can be a touching tribute.

Involving grandparents in the wedding procession is a wonderful way to celebrate their role in the couple's lives and create cherished memories for the entire family.

Grandparents' seating at the wedding

There are many ways to include grandparents in your wedding, from inviting them to do a special reading during the ceremony to incorporating a piece of their wedding day wardrobe into your outfit. When it comes to seating, it's important to ensure that your grandparents are comfortable and have a good view. Here are some tips for grandparents' seating at your wedding:

Reserve Ceremony Seats

It is customary to reserve seats for grandparents in the first or second row on either side of the parents. This ensures that they have a good view of the ceremony and can easily access their seats. If there are grandparents from both the bride's and groom's sides, it is suggested that the groom's grandparents be seated first, followed by the bride's.

Escort Grandparents to Their Seats

If you have ushers, they can escort your grandparents to their seats. If there is only one usher, they can quietly loop back to escort the remaining grandparents after the first has been seated. Alternatively, you can nominate siblings or cousins who aren't ushers or part of the wedding party to accompany your grandparents down the aisle.

Seat Them in Advance

For older grandparents or those with mobility issues, consider seating them before the ceremony begins. This gives them time to get settled without feeling rushed.

Seating for Widowed Grandparents

In the case of widowed grandparents, they may prefer to have someone sit with them during the ceremony. This companion is treated as an honoured guest.

Honouring Deceased Grandparents

If a grandparent has passed away, you can still include them in your special day. Leave a seat open for them and place flowers on it, or light a candle at the altar in their remembrance.

Seating for Divorced Grandparents

In the case of divorced grandparents, seating arrangements should be carefully considered. If the divorced grandparents get along, they can share the front row. However, if there is tension between them, it is necessary to use a well-thought-out alternative plan that keeps them separated. For example, one grandparent can sit in the front row, while the other sits a few rows behind with their immediate family.

Inform Ushers of Seating Arrangements

Be sure to give clear instructions to the ushers about your desired seating arrangements, especially if there are divorced grandparents or other unique family dynamics to consider. They can keep a list of guests to be seated in the first few rows and direct them accordingly.

Frequently asked questions