Addressing Wedding Invites: Envelope Etiquette And Rsvp Tips

Wedding invitations are a chance to showcase your style and give your guests all the information they need to celebrate with you. But, with so many details to consider, it's easy to make mistakes. This guide will help you navigate the intricacies of addressing wedding invitation envelopes and RSVPs, ensuring your invitations are both elegant and informative. From traditional wording to modern adaptations, you'll learn the dos and don'ts of wedding invitation etiquette.

Outer envelope addressing

The outer envelope is the envelope that the post office sees and is more formal than the inner envelope. It includes the guest's name(s) and address. The outer envelope is addressed using titles and full names.

Married Couple with the Same Last Name

For heterosexual couples, use "Mr." and "Mrs." and spell out the husband's full name. For same-sex couples, either name can go first.

Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren"

Married Couple with Different Last Names

For heterosexual couples, write their names on the same line with the woman's name first. If the combined names are too long to fit on one line, list them separately.

Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

Married Couple with One Hyphenated Last Name

In the case of a spouse who has chosen to hyphenate their last name, invitations should be addressed with both names on the same line.

Outer envelope: "Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft"

Unmarried Couple

Invitations to an unmarried couple living at the same address are addressed to both people on one line. List the person whom you are closest to first.

Outer envelope: "Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee"

Single Person

For single persons, whether male, female, or non-binary, the proper prefix should be used.

Outer envelope: "Ms. Stephanie Chen" or "Mr. James Montgomery"

Single Person with a Plus One

If a single person has been given a plus one, you don't need to indicate this on the outer envelope. Reserve "and guest" for the inner envelope only.

Outer envelope: "Ms. Stephanie Chen"

Married Couple, One Person Is a Doctor

If the combined names are too long to fit on one line, list them separately. Spell out "Doctor" on the outer envelope and abbreviate it on the inner envelope.

Outer envelope: "Doctor Tami Takata and Ms. Christina Smith"

Married Couple, Both Are Doctors

In the case of married doctors, it is proper to use: "The Doctors."

Outer envelope: "The Doctors Smith" or "Drs. Matthew and Angela Smith"

Couple with Other Distinguished Titles

Apply the same rules for military personnel, judges, reverends, etc. that you use for doctors. If both titles don't fit on one line, indent the second line. And remember that whichever half of the couple "outranks" the other goes first, regardless of gender.

Outer envelope: "The Honorable Josephine Wood and Mr. Jonathan Wood" or "Captains Josephine and Jonathan Wood, US Navy"

Family, Including Children

When inviting an entire family, the family name or the parents' names should be listed alone, and everyone can be included on the inside.

Outer envelope: "The Thompson Family" or "Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson" or "Mr. Alan Thompson and Mrs. Emily Thompson"

Inner envelope addressing

The inner envelope is smaller than the outer envelope and has traditionally been marked only by the titles and last names of the guest(s). The inner envelope is more informal, giving you the option to leave out one or two elements of the formal name format of the outer envelope.

Married Couple (same last name)

Formal: Mr. and Mrs. [Last Name]

Contemporary: [First Names]

Married Couple (different last names)

Formal: Ms. [Last Name] and Mr. [Last Name]

Contemporary: [First Names]

Single Woman

Formal: Miss [Surname] and [Guest Name] (only if you do not know the name of the guest, write "and guest")

Contemporary: [First Name]

Single Man

Formal: Mr. [Surname]

Contemporary: [First Name]

Unmarried Couple (at the same address)

Formal: Ms. [Last Name] and Mr. [Last Name]

Contemporary: [First Names]

If children or families are invited, their names are listed under those of the parents:

Formal: Mr. and Mrs. [Last Name] or [First Names] and [Children's First Names]

Contemporary: [First Names] and family or [First Names] of parents and children

Judge

Single: Judge [Last Name]

Married: Judge [Last Name] and Mrs./Mr. [Last Name]

Doctor (Medical)

Single: Doctor [Last Name] and Guest

Married: Doctor and Mrs./Mr. [Last Name]

Doctor (PhD)

Single: Dr. [First Name] [Last Name] and Guest

Married: Dr. and Mrs./Mr. [Last Name]

Married Woman Doctor

Doctor [First Name] [Last Name] Mr. [First Name] [Last Name]

Married Couple, Both Doctors

The Doctors [Last Name]

Clergy

The Reverend [Last Name]

Officer- Male, active or retired from service

Captain and Mrs./Mr. [Last Name]

Officer- Female, active or retired from service

Captain [First Name] [Last Name] Mr. [First Name] [Last Name]

RSVP card wording

The wording on your RSVP cards should ideally match the style of your wedding invitations. Whether your wedding is traditional, formal, or informal, you can adapt your RSVP wording accordingly. Here are some tips and examples to help you craft the perfect RSVP card wording:

Clear Deadline:

Give your guests a clear deadline for responding, usually about one month before the wedding date. This will help you finalise the details with your vendors and make the planning process smoother. For destination weddings, it is advisable to set the RSVP deadline two months before the wedding.

Include the Essentials:

Your RSVP card should include the following:

• A clear deadline for responses
• A way for guests to indicate their attendance, such as checkboxes or fill-in-the-blank lines
• Space for guests to write their names and the names of any plus-ones
• Any dietary restrictions or meal preferences

Add Extra Information:

Consider including your contact details, dress code information, or your wedding website URL. You can also leave some blank space for guests to share their excitement or any special requests.

Be Creative:

Feel free to inject your personality and style into your RSVP cards, especially if you're having a unique or themed wedding. You can add fun questions or requests, such as song requests or advice for the newlyweds.

Response Options:

Provide simple and clear response options for your guests. For formal weddings, use phrases such as "accepts with pleasure" or "declines with regret." For informal weddings, you can use more casual language, such as "Can't wait!" or "Sorry, I wish I could be there!"

Digital or Printed RSVP:

Traditionally, RSVP cards are sent physically and returned by post. However, it is becoming increasingly common to receive digital responses, especially if you have a wedding website. If you're requesting a digital RSVP, include the relevant information on your invitation, such as an email address or a link to your wedding website.

Formal RSVP Wording:

"Your reply is kindly requested before [date]"

"Name(s) :__________________ ▢ joyfully accept(s) ▢ regretfully decline(s) ▢ number attending"

Informal RSVP Wording:

"Kindly reply before [date]"

"Name(s): _________________ ▢ Can't wait! ▢ Sorry, I wish I/we could be there!"

RSVP envelope addressing

When addressing RSVP envelopes, it's important to include the name and address of the recipient. Traditionally, guests are addressed using titles such as Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss. When addressing a married couple, use only their first names. Here are some tips for addressing and preparing your RSVP envelopes:

• Print the address: Don't make your guests fill in the recipient's address. Print or write the address clearly on the front of the envelope to make it easy for them to send back their responses.
• Send them to the right person: While you can address the envelopes to yourself and your partner, it's also common to send them to the wedding planner, your parents, or someone else helping with the planning. Identify who will be responsible for collecting and organizing the RSVPs and address the envelopes to their preferred mailing address.
• Include postage: It is considered rude to make your guests pay for postage. Include a stamp on each envelope to ensure a prompt response.
• Set an RSVP deadline: Typically, the deadline is set around four weeks before the wedding date to allow enough time for finalizing details with vendors.
• Order RSVP cards in advance: Order your RSVP cards along with your wedding invitations to ensure they are ready to be mailed together.
• Provide a clear response format: On the RSVP card, include a blank line for guests to write their names, an attendance line (checkboxes or fill-in-the-blank format), meal preferences, and any other special requests or information you want to collect.

Invitation assembly

Now that you have all the components, it's time to assemble the invitations and enclose them in the correct order. Here is a step-by-step guide to assembling your wedding invitations:

• Arrange the cards in the correct order: When your guests open the wedding invitation, the enclosed cards should be arranged with the smallest piece on top and the largest—the invitation—at the bottom. The invitation should always be at the bottom with its printed side facing up. If your invitation is double-sided, arrange it so that the ceremony details are facing down. Any additional pieces should be stacked on top of the invitation according to size. If you have more than one card of the same size, place the more important card closest to the invitation.
• RSVP set-up: Place the RSVP card under the flap of the RSVP envelope. The RSVP card is essential as it allows your guests to confirm their attendance.
• Write a number on the back of each RSVP card: Lightly write a number in pencil on the back of every RSVP card. Assign each number to a guest on your list. This will help you keep track of who is coming if a guest forgets to write their name on the card.
• Stuff the envelopes: Assemble one complete invitation set and weigh it at the post office before stamping your envelopes. This will ensure you have the correct postage, as improper postage can result in returned invitations. Set aside invitation sets with international addresses to remind you to add extra postage. Double-check each invitation set before sealing the outer envelope. If you're using inner envelopes, make sure the names on the outer and inner envelopes match.
• Seal the envelopes: Don't use a sponge to seal the envelopes. Instead, use the lick-and-stick method to guarantee a tight seal.

If you don't have the time or patience to assemble your invitations, consider using a service like Soiree Signatures' "White Glove Service," which will handle the entire process for you.

Frequently asked questions