Monetary Gifts: Wedding Invitation Etiquette For Asking

Asking for monetary gifts instead of physical presents for your wedding can be tricky, but it's not impossible. Here's how to ask for monetary gifts in a wedding invitation without being rude or presumptuous. Firstly, it is generally advised not to ask for money directly on your wedding invitation. Instead, include the address of your wedding website or a link to your gift registry on an insert card within your invitation suite. This way, you can detail your preference for monetary gifts without making your invitees feel uncomfortable.

Don't ask for money on your wedding invites

While it is generally acceptable to ask for monetary gifts for your wedding, it is considered poor etiquette to ask for money on your wedding invitations. Here are some reasons why you shouldn't do this, along with alternative ways to request monetary gifts:

It May Come Across as Greedy

Wedding gifts are not obligatory, and including any gift requests on your invitations can make you seem entitled and greedy. This may also put guests in an uncomfortable position, especially if they cannot afford to give money.

Alternative: Wedding Website

A better approach is to create a wedding website. Here, you can include a dedicated FAQ page that addresses gift preferences. This way, it seems like you are addressing the issue due to guest queries, making it less direct. You can also explain why you are requesting monetary gifts and how you plan to use the funds. For example, you could write: "Your presence at our wedding is enough of a gift, but should you wish to buy us something, we'd greatly appreciate a contribution towards our [insert fund name]."

Alternative: Word-of-mouth

Another option is to ask close friends and family members to spread the word about your preference for monetary gifts. This option gives you less control over the message, but it can be effective if you know your family and friends will be tactful and subtle.

Alternative: Honeymoon/House Deposit Fund

You can also set up a specific fund, such as a honeymoon or house deposit fund, with a gift registry service. This allows guests to contribute money towards a particular goal. While you may have to register for a few physical gifts as well, it's a good option if you're expecting a lot of unwanted gifts.

Remember, it's essential to be sensitive to your guests' feelings and preferences. By using these alternative approaches, you can politely request monetary gifts without risking offence.

Ask friends and family to spread the word

While it is generally advised not to ask for monetary gifts on your wedding invitations, you can ask your close friends and family to spread the word about your preference for cash gifts. Here are some ways to go about it:

Choose the Right People

Select individuals who are good at subtly dropping things into conversation. These might be people who are already aware of your preference for monetary gifts, such as your parents, siblings, or members of your wedding party.

Provide Clear Information

Ensure that the people you choose to spread the word have all the necessary information. Tell them about your preference for cash gifts and why you would prefer that. For example, you might be saving for a honeymoon, a down payment on a home, or a kitchen remodel.

Encourage Tact and Delicacy

While asking your friends and family to spread the word can be an effective strategy, it can also be risky. If not handled delicately, it could inadvertently offend your guests. Emphasize the importance of tact and delicacy when conveying your wishes to your chosen messengers.

Prepare Answers to Common Questions

Anticipate potential questions from guests and prepare answers that your chosen messengers can use. For example, they might say something like:

> "The couple has requested monetary gifts to save for their dream honeymoon/a down payment on their first home /a kitchen remodel. If you'd like to contribute, there will be a card box at the reception, or you can visit their wedding website for more details."

Share Your Wedding Website

Make sure your close friends and family have access to your wedding website, where guests can find more information about your preference for monetary gifts and how you plan to use the money.

Remember, it's important to be respectful and considerate when asking for monetary gifts. By choosing the right people, providing clear information, encouraging tact, and sharing your wedding website, you can effectively spread the word about your preferences while maintaining good relationships with your guests.

Be specific about how you'll use the cash

It's important to let your guests know how you plan to use their monetary gifts. This helps them feel more connected to you and your plans. If you're in the middle of a big project, such as renovating your home or moving across the country, be sure to mention it on your wedding website. Adding a personal touch by sharing the story of how the project started, how far along you are, and any challenges you've faced along the way will make your guests feel invested in your journey. It will also serve as a subtle plea for help that your guests will be more inclined to answer.

Your wedding website is the perfect place to provide this information. Create a section for your "registry" and share the details of your plans so that guests understand why monetary gifts are your preference. This way, you can attach your cash gift request to a specific goal, and your guests will feel like their contribution is meaningful and impactful.

"Your presence at our wedding is enough of a gift, but should you wish to buy us something, we'd greatly appreciate a contribution towards our new home."

"Thank you for being a part of our special day. A contribution towards our honeymoon would be greatly appreciated and will help us create lasting memories."

"We are truly grateful for your support on our wedding day. If you wish to give a gift, we would be honoured to receive a contribution towards our future plans of starting a family."

"Your presence at our wedding means the world to us. However, if you wish to give a gift, we kindly ask for a donation towards our dream of buying a home."

Remember, it's essential to be gracious and polite when requesting monetary gifts. By sharing your plans and attaching your cash gift request to specific goals, you can effectively communicate your preferences to your guests.

Use a cash or honeymoon registry website

When it comes to your wedding, it's important to remember that guests should never be asked to bring a gift. However, if you're looking for a tactful way to inform your guests that you prefer monetary gifts, then a cash or honeymoon registry can be a great option. These websites allow you to create a personalized page where you can explain your wishes to your guests clearly and politely.

Here's how to go about it:

• Choose a reputable cash or honeymoon registry website that offers a user-friendly interface and secure payment options. Look for features that allow you to customize your registry, add photos, and write personal messages. Some popular options include Honeyfund, Zola, and Tendr.
• Create an account and set up your registry. This process usually involves providing your wedding details, such as the date, location, and a brief description of your event. You will also be prompted to create a unique URL for your registry page, which you can share with your guests.
• Once your registry is set up, you'll want to add items or experiences that represent your wishes for cash gifts. For example, if you're hoping to fund your honeymoon, you can break it down into smaller, tangible items that guests can contribute to. Instead of simply asking for money for flights, create items like "Take us to new heights: Contribute towards our flight to Paris" or "Romantic dinner in the City of Love." This approach makes it more personal and exciting for your guests.
• When it comes to wording your invitation to include information about your cash registry, it's essential to maintain a polite and gracious tone. Avoid any language that could be perceived as demanding or entitled. You might say something like, "Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all. If you wish to honor us with a gift, we kindly request a contribution to our honeymoon fund, which will help create unforgettable memories."
• Be sure to include the URL of your registry on your wedding website or, if necessary, on your invitation suite. Some registry websites also offer the option to create a customizable card insert for your invitations, explaining your cash gift preference elegantly and discreetly.

Remember, always be mindful of your guests' feelings, and never include any mention of expected amounts or place any obligations on them. Your guests will appreciate your thoughtful approach, and you'll be on your way to receiving gifts that truly benefit you as a couple.

Provide a link to your wedding website

Your wedding website is a powerful tool for guests. It's a place to answer any questions your guests may have about your wedding day that haven't been answered on the invitations. This makes it an ideal, subtle place to mention gifts. You could set up an FAQ page, which makes it look like you're addressing the issue of gifts because you've already received queries about it. This feels less direct than a line on a wedding invitation.

> Your presence at our wedding is enough of a gift, but should you wish to buy us something, we'd greatly appreciate a contribution towards our [insert cash fund].

>

> Thank you for being a part of our special day. If you feel inclined to give us a wedding gift, a contribution towards our [insert cash fund] would be greatly appreciated.

>

> The most important thing to us is that you're able to come and celebrate our wedding. However, if you wish to give a gift, we would graciously accept a contribution towards our [insert cash fund].

You can also use your website to explain why you've registered for cash and how you'll use the funds. Attaching a cash gift request to a goal helps gift-givers feel like their money will be meaningful. For example, you could explain that you already have a full house of homeware items and that you're saving for a new home, or that you'd like to put the money towards your honeymoon.

There are also several websites that allow you to register for cash gifts, which you can then link to your wedding website. These include:

• My Registry
• HoneyFund
• Deposit A Gift
• NewlyWish
• Our Wishing Well
• Zank You
• Wedding Republic
• Upon Our Stars
• SimpleRegistry
• Merci Registry
• Tendr

Frequently asked questions