Writing Wedding Invitation Addresses: A Step-By-Step Guide

Wedding invitations can be a tricky task, especially when it comes to addressing the envelopes. The good news is that you have some flexibility, and you can choose to follow traditional etiquette or go with a more modern approach. The most important thing is to ensure your guests feel welcome and know what to expect on your big day. Here are some tips to help you get started:

- Outer Envelope vs Inner Envelope: Traditionally, wedding invitations include an outer envelope for mailing and an inner envelope that contains the invitation, RSVP card, and any other enclosures. The outer envelope is more formal and includes the guest's name and address, while the inner envelope is more informal and may include first names only. However, it is becoming more common to send invitations without an inner envelope, so you can simply focus on addressing the outer envelope correctly.

- Married Couples: For heterosexual couples, the traditional format is Mr. and Mrs. followed by the husband's full name. For same-sex couples, you can use the appropriate prefixes and list the names alphabetically or according to whom you are closer to. If the couple has different last names or one partner has a hyphenated name, list the person you are closest to first or alphabetically.

- Unmarried Couples: For unmarried couples living together, include both names on one line, listing the person you are closest to first or alphabetically. If the couple does not live together, send separate invitations to each guest.

- Single Individuals: For unmarried women, use Ms. unless she is under 18, in which case Miss is more appropriate. For unmarried men, use Mr. unless they are under 18, then no title is needed. If your guest identifies as non-binary, the honorific Mx. is often used.

- Families: If you are inviting an entire family, you can address the envelope to The [Family Name] or list the parents' names followed by and family. If you want to specify which family members are invited, list the names of each member, starting with the parents and then listing the children in order of age.

- Titles: For guests with distinguished titles, such as doctors, military personnel, judges, or clergy, use their title followed by their name. For married couples with titles, list the person with the higher-ranking title first, regardless of gender.

- Plus Ones: For guests with a plus one, send the invitation to the person you are primarily inviting at their address. If you know the guest's name, include it on the envelope as you would for an unmarried couple. If you don't know their name, simply write and guest in lowercase after your friend's name.

Addressing a married couple

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple, there are a few options to consider, depending on your preference and level of formality. Here are some detailed guidelines to help you with this task:

Married Couple with the Same Last Name:

For a heterosexual couple, the traditional way to address the invitation is to use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. For example:

• Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren"
• Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"

However, this format may not be preferred by modern women who want their names included instead of being lumped in with their husbands. In this case, you can address it as follows:

• Outer envelope: "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren"
• Inner envelope: "Mr. Warren and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"

Married Couple with Different Last Names:

When addressing a married couple with different last names, write their full names on the same line, with "Mr." or "Mrs." included. You can list the man's name first or the woman's name first, depending on your preference. Here's an example:

• Outer envelope: "Mrs. Gwyneth Brookes and Mr. Cyan Matthews" or "Mr. Cyan Matthews and Mrs. Gwyneth Brookes"
• Inner envelope: "Mrs. Brookes and Mr. Matthews" or "Gwyneth and Cyan"

Married Couple with One Hyphenated Last Name:

If one spouse has chosen to hyphenate their last name, you can address the invitation in the following way:

• Outer envelope: "Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft"
• Inner envelope: "Mr. Craft and Mr. Crosby-Craft" or "Marcus and Brian"

Using First Names Only:

If you want to avoid the complexities of titles and last names, you can simply use the first names of the married couple. Make sure to include both individuals' names to avoid any confusion. For example:

"Jane and John Doe" or "John and Jane Doe"

Same-Sex Married Couples:

When addressing a same-sex married couple, the same guidelines mentioned above can be applied. Simply use the appropriate prefixes ("Mr." or "Mrs.") and list the names in the order you prefer. For example:

• Outer envelope: "Mrs. Shyan Walton and Mrs. Kiara Walton" or "Mr. Denzel Grant and Mr. Francis Grant"
• Inner envelope: "Mrs. Walton and Mrs. Walton" or "Shyan and Kiara"

Other Considerations:

• If one or both members of the couple have distinguished titles, such as "Doctor," "Captain," or "Judge," include these titles in the address. The person with the higher title should be listed first, regardless of gender.
• When in doubt, it's always a good idea to ask your guests their preferred titles and names to ensure you are addressing them correctly and respecting their preferences.

Addressing an unmarried couple

When addressing an unmarried couple living together, their names should be written on the same line, with both people's titles included. If the couple has different last names, write out their full names with "Mr." or "Ms." on the stationery. If they have the same last name, you can use "Mr." and "Ms." followed by the shared surname.

If the unmarried couple does not live together, they should receive separate invitations.

> Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee

> Stanley and Amanda

If the couple has different last names and you are closer to one person, you can list their name first, followed by their partner's. For example:

> Ms. Celine Elgin and Ms. Jacqueline Purcell

> Celine and Jacqueline

If the couple has the same last name and you want to include both of their first names, the format would look like this:

> Mr. and Mrs. Jackson Clarke

> Mr. Jackson Clarke and Mrs. Mary Clarke

Addressing a single person

When addressing a wedding invitation to a single person, the outer envelope should include their full name and their personal title, e.g. Mr., Ms., Miss, or Mx. For example, "Ms. Ali Johnson".

If you are unsure of their preferred title, it is best to forgo it altogether. If the single person is a woman over the age of 18, "Ms." is the appropriate choice. For a woman under 18, "Miss" is more acceptable and should be spelled out, not abbreviated. For a single male over the age of 18, use "Mr.". If the male guest is under 18, no title is necessary. For non-binary guests, use the abbreviation "Mx."

If the single person is a widow, it is common to address the envelope with her married name, e.g. "Mrs. Sadie Schwartz". However, it is best to ask for her preference. A divorced woman may use either "Mrs." or "Ms.", depending on whether she uses her maiden name or married name.

If the single person has been offered a plus-one, you don't need to indicate this on the outer envelope. Simply include "and Guest" or "and guest" on the inner envelope, following the full name of the invitee. For example, "Mr. Tyler Morris & Guest".

Addressing a family

When addressing a wedding invitation to a family, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, decide whether you want to be specific about which family members are invited. If you want to keep it general, simply address the envelope to the whole family or include "and family" or "and children" after the parents' names.

If you want to specify which family members are invited, begin with the parent or parents' names, followed by the names of any invited children in order of age. For girls under 18, use "Miss" as a courtesy title. Boys do not need a title until they are 16, at which age they can be addressed as "Mr.".

Outer envelope:

• The [Last Name] Family
• Mr. and Mrs. [Father's First Name] [Last Name]
• Mr. [Father's First Name] [Last Name] and Mrs. [Mother's First Name] [Last Name] & Children
• Mr. and Mrs. Homer Simpson

Inner envelope:

• List the first names of all invited family members
• Mr. and Mrs. [Last Name] [Father's First Name], [Mother's First Name], [Children's First Names]
• Homer, Marge, Bart, Miss Lisa, and Miss Maggie

If the children are over 18:

• List their names with appropriate titles on a separate line
• Mr. and Mrs. Homer Simpson
• Mr. Bart Simpson
• Miss Lisa Simpson

Addressing distinguished titles

When addressing wedding invitations to guests with distinguished titles, there are a few guidelines to follow. Here are some examples and tips to help you navigate this etiquette:

Doctors:

• If one partner is a doctor, list them first regardless of gender. You can choose to spell out "Doctor" or use the abbreviation "Dr." on the outer envelope. For the inner envelope, use the abbreviation "Dr."
• Example: Outer envelope - "Doctor Tami Takata and Ms. Christina Smith". Inner envelope - "Dr. Takata and Ms. Smith" or "Tami and Christina".
• If both partners are doctors, you can address them as "The Doctors" or "Drs.". Traditionally, the woman's name is listed first.
• Example: Outer envelope - "The Doctors Smith" or "Drs. Matthew and Angela Smith". Inner envelope - "The Doctors Smith" or "Matthew and Angela".

Military Personnel:

• If one partner holds a military title, list them first. Include their military branch after their name, e.g., "US Navy".
• Example: Outer envelope - "Lieutenant Jonathan Kelly, US Navy and Mrs. Jane Kelly". Inner envelope - "Lieutenant Kelly, US Navy and Mrs. Kelly".
• If both partners hold military titles, list their names followed by their military branch.
• Example: Outer envelope - "Captains Jane and Jonathan Kelly, US Navy". Inner envelope - "The Captains Kelly".

Lawyers:

• For lawyers, use the suffix "Esq." after their name.
• Example: Outer envelope - "Michelle Brown, Esq. and Mr. John Brown". Inner envelope - "Mr. and Mrs. Brown".

Judges:

• For judges, use the title "The Honorable" before their name.
• Example: Outer envelope - "The Honorable Gina Rodriguez and Mx. Alice Rodriguez". Inner envelope - "Judge Rodriguez and Mx. Rodriguez".

Other Distinguished Titles:

• For other distinguished titles such as clergy or rabbis, use their respective titles (e.g., Rabbi, Father). The person with the title is listed first, regardless of gender.
• Example: Outer envelope - "Rabbi and Mrs. Richard Glass". Inner envelope - "Rabbi Glass and Mrs. Glass" or "Richard and Rosina".
• If both partners hold the same title, use their titles followed by their names. Traditionally, the woman's name is listed first.
• Example: Outer envelope - "Colonel Peter Jefferies and Reverend Margaret Jefferies". Inner envelope - "Colonel and Reverend Jefferies".

Remember to double-check the preferred titles and names of your guests before addressing the invitations.

Frequently asked questions