Managing Wedding Invitation Lists: Navigating The 'B' List

Creating a B-list for wedding invitations can be a tricky business. It's a way to ensure that your big day is filled with family and friends, but it can be a little dicey if B-listers realise they weren't first picks. The B-list is made up of people you'd love to invite but may not be able to accommodate due to a limited budget or venue space. So, if any guests on your A-list decline, you can send out another round of invites to your B-list. The key to handling a B-list is to be organised, discrete and, above all, respectful.

Make B-List decisions early

Creating a B-list for your wedding invitations is a great way to ensure that your special day is filled with family and friends. However, it can be a little tricky if your B-listers realise they weren't on the A-list. To avoid any potential faux pas, it's important to make B-list decisions early on.

Firstly, it's crucial to decide as soon as possible if you need to separate your guest list into an A-list and a B-list. This will give you ample time to determine who belongs on each list and to make the necessary arrangements for invitations and RSVP deadlines. It's also a good idea to organise your B-list in order of priority, with those who are important to you but didn't quite make the A-list at the top, and those who would be nice to include towards the bottom. This way, you can easily identify who to send invitations to first as the RSVPs start coming in.

By making these decisions early, you can also ensure that you send out your B-list invitations in a timely manner. It's generally recommended that A-list invitations be sent out around 10 to 12 weeks before the wedding, with an RSVP deadline of eight weeks. For B-list invitations, it's best to allow a similar timeframe for your guests' convenience and to avoid any last-minute invites that could give away their B-list status.

Additionally, early planning will help you stay organised and ensure you have the correct number of invitations and RSVP cards. It's advisable to have two sets of RSVP cards with different reply-by dates to give your B-list guests enough time to respond without overlapping with your A-list responses.

Making B-list decisions early will not only help you stay on top of the logistics but also reduce the chances of any hurt feelings among your guests. It's a delicate process, but with careful planning and timely execution, you can navigate it smoothly and ensure that your wedding is a memorable celebration for everyone.

Organise your lists

Creating a B-list for your wedding invitations is a great way to ensure that your big day is shared with as many loved ones as possible. However, it can be a tricky process that requires careful planning and organisation. Here are some tips to help you organise your lists:

• Make B-List Decisions Early: Start by creating a master list of all the people you would like to invite to your wedding. Then, divide this list into your A-list (must-haves) and B-list (nice-to-haves). Prioritise your B-list, placing those who are most important to you at the top. This ensures that if spaces become available, you can send invitations to those who are closest to making the A-list.
• Send Invitations Early: Mail your A-list invitations earlier than usual, around 10-12 weeks ahead of the wedding. This gives you time to receive responses and send B-list invitations in a timely manner.
• Have Two Sets of RSVP Cards: Prepare two sets of RSVP cards with different reply-by dates. The first set, for your A-list, should have an RSVP deadline of about eight weeks before the wedding. The second set, for your B-list, should have a deadline of approximately three to four weeks before the wedding, giving both groups ample time to respond.
• Consider Your Out-of-Town Guests: Send invitations to your out-of-town guests, whether on the A-list or B-list, as early as possible. This courtesy allows them to make travel arrangements and gives you an early indication of who may not be able to attend.
• Place Close Friends and Family on the Same List: To avoid hurt feelings, ensure that groups of close friends and family members are placed on the same list. This prevents situations where one person realises they were on the B-list while others in their social circle were on the A-list.
• Monitor Your Social Media: Keep an eye on your social media platforms, such as Facebook. If someone posts about receiving your invitation, delete the comment to avoid others noticing potential differences in invitation timing.

Send invitations early

Sending out your wedding invitations early is a crucial step in the wedding planning process. Here are some reasons why sending invitations early is beneficial, especially when managing a B-list:

Allow Sufficient Time for Guests to Respond

Sending out invitations early gives your guests ample time to check their calendars, make travel arrangements if necessary, and send back their RSVP cards. This is especially important for guests who may have busy schedules or need to request time off work. By providing an early invitation, you increase the likelihood of receiving responses by your deadline.

Comply with Traditional Etiquette

Following traditional wedding invitation etiquette is essential to maintaining a respectful tone for your wedding. Etiquette suggests that invitations should be mailed six to eight weeks before the wedding. Sending them out 10-12 weeks in advance, as some sources recommend, gives you extra time to manage your B-list effectively.

Manage Your B-List Efficiently

By sending out your A-list invitations early, you create a buffer period to receive responses and assess how many guests from your A-list can attend. This information is crucial for determining the number of B-list invitations you need to send out. It ensures that you can send out B-list invitations promptly and avoid last-minute invites, which may indicate to guests that they were on a lower-priority list.

Provide Time to Finalise Other Arrangements

Receiving RSVPs earlier allows you to finalise other wedding arrangements, such as seating charts, catering plans, and accommodation bookings, especially for out-of-town guests. This advanced notice helps you make more informed decisions and reduces the stress of last-minute changes.

Maintain Discretion and Avoid Guest Comparison

Sending out invitations early helps maintain discretion regarding your guest lists. It reduces the chances of guests comparing their invitation timing and potentially realising they were on the B-list. Sending B-list invitations at the same time as A-list invitations for out-of-town guests can also help avoid this situation.

Have two sets of RSVP cards

Having two sets of RSVP cards can be a great strategy when handling a B-list for wedding invitations. Here are some tips and suggestions to consider:

Benefits of Two Sets of RSVP Cards

• Offering two sets of RSVP cards, one traditional and one digital, can provide your guests with options and make it more convenient for them to respond.
• Digital RSVP cards can be a cost-effective option, as they eliminate the need for extra postage and envelopes.
• Having a digital option can also speed up the response process, as guests won't need to rely on postal services.
• Additionally, digital RSVP cards are environmentally friendly, reducing the amount of paper and envelopes needed.

Wording and Customization

• When creating your RSVP cards, consider including a sentence that directs guests to your wedding website for online responses. For example, "Kindly respond by [date] at www.ourweddingwebsite.com."
• You can also include a QR code on your RSVP cards that guests can scan to be directed to the online RSVP page.
• If you opt for digital RSVPs, you can still include physical RSVP cards with your invitations. This gives guests the option to choose their preferred method.

Tracking and Managing Responses

• Using a spreadsheet or a guest list management tool on wedding planning websites can help you stay organized and keep track of responses.
• Digital RSVPs often come with automatic notifications, so you'll be alerted when a guest submits their response.
• If you're collecting meal preferences or song requests, you can include these as customizable options on your digital RSVP form.

Other Considerations

• Remember to give your guests enough time to respond. Set an RSVP deadline about two to four weeks before your wedding day to finalize details with your caterer and venue.
• Be prepared to follow up with guests who don't respond by the deadline, as this is common, even with digital RSVPs.
• If you have less tech-savvy guests, consider including a phone number as an alternative response option.

Having two sets of RSVP cards can streamline the response process and make it more accessible for your guests. It also gives you a cost-effective and eco-friendly option while allowing for customization and personalization.

Monitor social media

Social media plays a huge role in the wedding planning process. Many couples search social media platforms for wedding inspiration, and some even scour these platforms for vendors with beautiful, regularly updated profiles.

• Use hashtags: Create a unique hashtag for your wedding and encourage guests to use it when posting about your big day. This will make it easier to track and monitor posts related to your wedding.
• Mention it on your wedding website: Let people know in advance if you have any specific requests regarding social media. For example, you may want to ask guests to pocket their phones during the ceremony or to use your wedding hashtag when posting.
• Include a note in the invitations: By including a note about your social media preferences in the invitations, you can give guests a heads-up about your online plans.
• Set up a sign at the venue: Create a cute sign that matches your wedding theme and displays your wedding hashtag. This will remind guests to use your hashtag when posting and help to keep your wedding social media presence organised.
• Make an announcement: Ask your officiant, photographer, or wedding DJ to make a lighthearted announcement about your social media plans. This can be a fun way to ensure guests are aware of your wishes.
• Change your privacy settings: Adjust your privacy settings on social media platforms to ensure you can't be tagged in posts or photos without your approval. This gives you more control over what appears on your profile.
• Assign social media monitors: Ask a few members of your wedding party, family, or photography team to keep an eye on social media during the event. They can politely remind guests of your wishes and ensure your online presence remains positive.

Frequently asked questions