Bridesmaids' Work: Strategies For Effective Task Distribution

Being a bridesmaid is more than just showing up on the wedding day. It's a long list of responsibilities and bridesmaids are expected to plan and attend pre-wedding parties, help with wedding planning, and be available to the bride on the wedding weekend. Bridesmaids are usually the closest friends and family members of the bride, and they play a crucial role in supporting the bride emotionally throughout the entire wedding planning process. While it is ultimately the bride's decision on how to divide tasks among her bridesmaids, there are some traditional duties that bridesmaids are expected to perform. These include shopping for and paying for bridesmaid attire, planning and paying for the bridal shower and bachelorette party, attending pre-wedding events, booking travel and hotel reservations, and providing emotional support to the bride.

Planning the bridal shower

Choosing a Theme:

Select a theme that aligns with the bride's vision for her wedding. It can be as simple as matching her chosen colour scheme or as specific as a tea party. If the bride is more relaxed, consider themes like a pajama party, chill barbecue, elegant garden party, or an intimate wine tasting. Don't hesitate to run your ideas by the bride and incorporate her preferences.

Selecting a Venue:

The venue choice depends on the theme and the number of guests. Most restaurants offer banquet rooms for rent, or you could host it in someone's backyard or living room for a more intimate gathering. Consider the budget of the bridesmaids and try to keep costs reasonable.

Sending Out Invitations:

Create a guest list in collaboration with the bride, ensuring that only people invited to the wedding are included. Send out invitations at least two months in advance, including details such as date, time, location, and registry information.

Food and Beverage Arrangements:

If the venue is a restaurant, your food options may already be decided. Otherwise, opt for light finger foods that are easy to eat and prepare. Enlist the help of the mother of the bride or future mother-in-law, and always consider the bride's preferences and any dietary restrictions.

Finalising the Details:

Determine the dress code, taking into account the season and venue to ensure the comfort of the guests. Involve the other bridesmaids in decorating the venue and setting up tables, chairs, place settings, and a gift table. Don't forget to include games and prizes to keep the event entertaining and engaging!

Budgeting:

Creating a budget is essential for planning the bridal shower. Traditionally, the maid of honour, bridesmaids, or organisers cover the costs, but it's becoming more common for the couple to contribute, especially for elaborate showers. Expenses can be divided among the organisers or contributions can be sought from attendees, but this should be handled sensitively.

Remember to maintain open communication with the bride throughout the planning process to ensure her wishes are respected and her special day is celebrated in a way she will cherish.

Planning the bachelorette party

Planning a bachelorette party can be a daunting task, but with proper planning and communication, it can be a memorable and fun experience for everyone involved. Here are some detailed tips to help you plan an enjoyable bachelorette party:

Start with a Clear Budget Understanding:

It is essential to have an open conversation about the budget with the bridal party and the bride's close friends. Create a clear understanding of who will cover which expenses. Traditionally, the maid of honor and bridesmaids split the costs, but nowadays, it is common to divide expenses evenly among all attendees, including the bride.

Determine the Guest List:

The guest list typically includes the bridal party, but it can also extend to the bride's close friends, siblings, future sisters-in-law, and even the mother of the bride or mother-in-law, depending on the vibe of the party. It is essential to consider the dynamics of the group and ensure everyone invited will get along to avoid any unnecessary drama.

Pick a Theme and Plan Activities:

Selecting a theme will help guide your planning process and create a cohesive experience. Choose two to three activities that align with the theme, such as spa treatments, outdoor adventures, or clubbing. Remember to include some downtime in the itinerary to ensure the activities are enjoyable and not overwhelming.

Finalize the Date and Location:

Work with the bride to select two to four potential dates that suit her schedule, and use a polling platform like Doodle.com to determine which dates work best for the invited guests. For destination bachelorette parties, consider the cost of flights and try to book at least six months in advance to secure better accommodation deals.

Handle the Logistics:

Book accommodations that fit within the agreed-upon budget. For larger groups, consider renting a group house instead of hotel rooms. If you opt for a hotel, book at least one suite for communal gatherings. When it comes to meals, especially for larger groups, reach out to the restaurant in advance to discuss options for a limited set menu or splitting the bill evenly.

Send Out Invitations:

The level of formality for the invitations can vary. You can send paper invitations through the post for a more formal approach, use an online invitation service for a mid-level formal option, or simply send a group email for a more casual invitation.

Remember, effective communication and planning are key to ensuring that everyone, especially the bride, has a wonderful time at the bachelorette party.

Emotional support

Bridesmaids are also there to support the bride on the day itself. This could include reminding her to eat and stay hydrated, answering any incoming calls or texts, and keeping her smiling, laughing, and calm. Bridesmaids can also help the bride with her dress, shoes, jewellery, and veil, as well as making sure her hair and makeup appointments are on track.

In addition, bridesmaids can provide emotional support by being a friendly and cheerful presence for guests. This might include greeting guests, helping them find their seats, and making sure they sign the guestbook.

• Offer a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on during stressful moments.
• Help the bride feel calm and relaxed by creating a relaxed atmosphere and offering reassurance.
• Accompany the bride to dress fittings and offer your honest opinion to help her choose her attire.
• Be available for random phone calls and last-minute questions or concerns.
• Forgive any 'bridezilla' moments and try to keep the peace between family members or guests.
• Offer to take the bride out for a coffee or a walk if she needs a break from wedding planning.
• Help the bride compose herself before walking down the aisle and give her a quick cuddle.
• Make sure the bride always has a drink and something to eat, especially during the busy wedding day.
• Check her appearance and help her with any touch-ups to her hair and makeup.
• Look after the groomsmen and keep an eye on the best man, who may be nervous about their speech.
• Keep an eye on family politics and try to keep any unfriendly guests apart to avoid drama.
• Help the bride see the funny side if something goes wrong and remind her that it's not the end of the world.

Wedding day duties

The wedding day is finally here, and it's time for the bridesmaids to spring into action! Here are the duties that will ensure the bride's special day goes off without a hitch:

Get Ready with the Bride

On the wedding day, bridesmaids should arrive at the designated getting-ready location on time and prepared. Help the bride stay calm, collected, and hydrated by keeping the atmosphere upbeat and ensuring she eats and drinks something. Pour the bubbly and keep the hair and makeup appointments on track. Assist the bride with her dress, shoes, jewellery, and veil.

Provide Getting-Ready Snacks

If no other arrangements have been made, it falls to the bridesmaids to provide snacks and drinks for the bride, her mother, and even the photographer and stylists.

Be the "Bride Tribe"

Bridesmaids are the bride's support crew and should embody this concept throughout the day. They can also serve as a point of contact for guests and vendors. Ensure all wedding party members and special family members have their flowers and assist with pinning on boutonnieres. Help guests navigate the venue by directing them to parking areas, bathrooms, exits, and the bar or refreshments. Stand near the gift table, guest book, or wedding favours to facilitate guest participation.

Participate in the Ceremony

Bridesmaids should be on time and in place at the ceremony venue, hidden from sight until their cue to process down the aisle. After the ceremony, stick together for group photos to save time.

Be Model Guests

Mingle with guests, enjoy the food and drinks, and participate in guest activities like signing the guest book or visiting the photo booth. Listen to and applaud speeches and join in on the dancing.

Maintain a Stress-Free Send-off

Help the maid of honour, coordinator, or the couple's parents assemble items that need to be transported out of the reception venue. Ensure all guests make it safely out of the venue and hand out pre-addressed tip envelopes to vendors. Make sure the couple's overnight bags reach their wedding night hotel room, and organise guests to the after-party if there is one.

Check-in with the Newlyweds

Throughout the party, check in on the newlyweds to ensure they are well-fed and hydrated. Help with outfit changes, bathroom breaks, and other thoughtful requests like asking the caterer to pack to-go boxes.

Give a Speech

If the couple asks you to give a speech, prepare your words in advance and be sure to practice.

Financial responsibilities

Being a bridesmaid comes with a lot of financial responsibilities, from paying for your attire to travel and accommodation. Here are some tips to help divide these costs among the bridesmaids:

Shop (and Pay) for Bridesmaid Attire

Bridesmaids are typically expected to pay for their own attire, including the dress, jewellery, and shoes. It is important to communicate with the bride and other bridesmaids to ensure that everyone is comfortable with the chosen attire and associated costs. If there are concerns about affordability, be open and honest, and work together to find more budget-friendly options.

Help Plan (and Pay) for the Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Party

The bridal shower and bachelorette party are two events that bridesmaids are expected to help plan and financially contribute to. This may include chipping in for decorations, activities, and the bride's expenses. It is important to discuss financial expectations and limits early on to ensure that costs are divided equitably among the bridesmaids.

Book Travel and Accommodations

Bridesmaids should also take care of their own transportation and accommodations for the wedding and related events. It is advisable to book these arrangements early to ensure convenience and affordability. If possible, coordinate with other bridesmaids to share transportation and lodging to reduce individual costs.

Buy a Wedding Present

As with any other wedding guest, bridesmaids are expected to purchase a wedding gift for the couple from their registry. If the wedding is a destination wedding, your presence may be considered a gift, but it is still thoughtful to give a card or a small gift. Going in on a group gift with the other bridesmaids can be a fun way to give the couple something special while managing costs.

Provide Getting-Ready Snacks and Drinks

On the wedding day, it is customary for bridesmaids to provide snacks and drinks for the bridal party while getting ready. This is a thoughtful way to ensure everyone stays energised and hydrated throughout the morning. Discuss with the other bridesmaids to decide on a budget and assign someone to be in charge of purchasing these items.

Remember, open communication is key to managing financial responsibilities effectively. Be mindful of each bridesmaid's financial situation, and work together to find solutions that ensure everyone feels included without breaking the bank.

Frequently asked questions