Bridal Shower Guest List: Who Should Be There?

Planning a bridal shower is one of the most fun pre-wedding tasks, especially for the bride. It is probably the only wedding-related occasion when all she needs to decide is what to wear and who to invite. The guest list typically includes the bride's closest friends, family members, and bridal party. According to wedding planner Cameron Forbes, Bridal showers are intimate, celebratory gatherings, and the guest list typically reflects a sense of closeness. While it is not necessary to invite every woman on the wedding guest list, it is considered poor etiquette to invite someone to the bridal shower without also inviting them to the wedding. So, should bridesmaids be invited to all bridal showers?

Inviting bridesmaids to the bridal shower

The bridal party, including the maid of honour and bridesmaids, are usually at the top of the bridal shower guest list. They are often the ones throwing the shower, so it makes sense that they would be in attendance.

Who else should be invited?

The bridal shower guest list will also include the bride's closest friends and family, such as her mother, sisters, and future in-laws. The groom's close female friends and relatives may also be invited, especially if the bride is close with them.

The number of guests depends on various factors, such as the size of the wedding guest list and the budget. The average number of guests at a bridal shower is about 25, with 20-30 being the average range.

It is recommended to send out invitations six to eight weeks before the bridal shower to give guests enough time to RSVP and make travel arrangements if necessary.

While bridal showers traditionally only have female guests, it has become common to include male guests on the guest list. This may impact the theme and activities, but it can be a great way to celebrate with the future spouse.

If there are budget constraints or a large number of guests, it is acceptable to have multiple bridal showers with different guest lists. This can be a good solution if you have a large family or group of close friends.

Inviting them to all pre-wedding events

The bridal party, including the bridesmaids, are usually invited to all pre-wedding events, including the bridal shower. However, this is not a strict requirement and there is flexibility depending on the bride's preferences and circumstances.

The Bridal Shower Guest List

The bridal shower is an intimate gathering, and the guest list typically includes the bride's closest female friends and family members, such as her bridesmaids, mother, sisters, and future in-laws. In recent times, bridal showers can also include close male friends or relatives if the bride wishes. The key consideration is inviting individuals who share a meaningful connection with the bride.

Etiquette Tips for Invitations

It is considered impolite to invite someone to the bridal shower without also inviting them to the wedding. The exception is if the guest was invited to the wedding but cannot attend for personal reasons.

The average number of guests at a bridal shower is around 20 to 30 people, depending on the size of the wedding guest list. The host, usually the maid of honour or bridal party, makes the final decision on the guest list, venue, and other key details.

Multiple Bridal Showers

If there are multiple guest lists that are difficult to combine into one shower, it is acceptable to have multiple bridal showers. This can be a solution when dealing with a large family or a group of close friends who might prefer a separate celebration.

Timing of Invitations

It is recommended to send out bridal shower invitations six to eight weeks before the event. This provides guests with ample time to respond and make necessary arrangements, especially for those travelling from out of town.

In conclusion, while there is no rigid rule, it is customary to invite bridesmaids to all pre-wedding events, including the bridal shower. The bridal shower is a chance for the bride to celebrate with her closest friends and family, and the bridesmaids are often an integral part of this special occasion.

The bride's input on the guest list

The bride's wishes should be prioritised when creating the guest list, especially regarding her bridal party and family. This includes the maid of honour, bridesmaids, mother, sisters, future in-laws, and any children of the bride and/or groom. The bride may also want to include close male friends or relatives, as modern bridal showers are becoming more inclusive.

While the host typically makes most of the key decisions, the bride's input on the guest list is vital. The host can suggest including the groom's close female friends and relatives, such as his mother, sisters, and aunts, if they have a good relationship with the bride. The bride's input can also guide the host on whether to have a co-ed shower, multiple showers, or a more intimate gathering with a tight guest list.

The bride's preferences for the size and scope of the bridal shower will influence the guest list. If the bride desires a smaller, more intimate event, the host can adjust the guest list accordingly, focusing on the bride's closest friends and family. On the other hand, if the bride wants a larger celebration, the host can consider inviting extended family, friends from different social circles, and even colleagues.

In conclusion, the bride's input on the guest list is essential to ensure that her closest loved ones are included and that the bridal shower aligns with her vision. The host can use the bride's preferences as a guide to create a meaningful and memorable pre-wedding celebration.

The host's role in planning the shower

Planning a bridal shower can be a fun and exciting process, but it also requires some organisation and forethought. Here is a detailed guide outlining the host's role in planning the bridal shower:

Choosing a Host

Traditionally, the role of the chief shower planner falls to the maid of honour, who relies on the support of the bridesmaids to help with the logistics. However, anyone close to the bride, such as her mother, sister, cousin, grandmother, or future mother-in-law, can also host the bridal shower. In the past, it was considered taboo for immediate family members to host as it was seen as a direct plea for gifts. Nowadays, it is perfectly acceptable for the mother of the bride or other relatives to host if they wish.

Planning and Paying

The host is responsible for planning and paying for the bridal shower. When multiple hosts are involved, they should share the costs. The bridal party should also get involved with the planning and celebration. Each person can be delegated a specific task to manage ahead of the event. The mother of the bride often helps with finances. While the bride doesn't throw her own shower, she may express her wishes regarding who she would like to be involved in planning, depending on her relationship with that person.

Timing and Location

Bridal showers are usually held a few months to a few weeks before the wedding. It is recommended to host the shower at least two to three months before the wedding, giving ample time to finalise plans. The shower should take place after the wedding invitations have been sent out. The location depends on the type of shower and the host's budget. Common venues include a friend or family member's home, a restaurant, or a specific venue that correlates with the theme, such as a spa or winery.

Guest List and Invitations

The guest list should be limited to people who are also invited to the wedding. The bridal party, the couple's family, and close friends are usually included. The host should consult with the bride to create a list of must-have guests and work within any venue constraints and budget limitations. Invitations should be sent out four to eight weeks before the event, including the bride's name, date, time, location, registry information, RSVP details, and host's name.

Theme and Activities

The host can choose to have a theme for the bridal shower, such as a rustic décor theme or a spa day. Games and activities are a fun addition to the event, with options such as bridal shower bingo or designing wedding dresses with toilet paper. The host can also plan activity-oriented showers like a calligraphy lesson or spa day.

Food and Drinks

Food and drinks are an essential part of the bridal shower. Hosting a brunch affair? Stock up on mimosas and breakfast foods. If hosting at a restaurant, the host doesn't need to worry about providing food. Finger foods are a great option to satisfy guests' appetites and allow them to pick and choose. Don't forget the cake or cupcakes!

Gifts

Gifts are traditionally given at bridal showers, and it is customary for the host to give the guest of honour a small and sentimental gift. The host can include registry information on the invitations to guide guests in their gift choices.

Other Details

The host should consider other details such as music, decorations, and a guest book for the bride to keep. Polaroid cameras can be provided for guests to take photos with the bride, creating memorable keepsakes.

Male guests on the list

While bridal showers are traditionally female-only events, it has become common to include male guests on the guest list. This is especially true if there are bridesmen in the bridal party, or if the couple is hosting a co-ed shower. Inviting close male friends or relatives is perfectly acceptable if the bride wishes to do so.

If men are included, it's likely to have an impact on the theme and activities of the shower. However, this doesn't have to be a sore point, and it can be nice to celebrate with your future spouse and other half of the wedding party.

The groom may also arrive at the end of the bridal shower to help the bride with her gifts, and to thank the guests for their well wishes.

Frequently asked questions