Treating Bridesmaids: The Ultimate Guide To Making Them Feel Special

Bridesmaids are an integral part of a wedding, and it's essential to treat them well and show your appreciation for their efforts. Here are some ways to ensure your bridesmaids feel valued and respected:

- Communicate early and often: Keep your bridesmaids informed by giving them dates for important events like the engagement party, bridal shower, and rehearsal dinner well in advance. Be transparent about time and financial commitments to help them plan accordingly.

- Respect their time and budgets: Understand that your bridesmaids have their own lives, jobs, and commitments. Don't expect them to put their lives on pause for your wedding. Consider their financial situation when planning events, and look for ways to reduce their costs.

- Choose flattering dresses or let them pick their own: Offer flexibility in dress choices, taking into account different body types and styles. Allowing them to choose their own outfits can make them feel more comfortable and appreciated.

- Let them choose their hair, makeup, and shoes: Each bridesmaid is unique, so let them express their individuality by choosing their own hair and makeup styles. If you require professional styling, be prepared to cover the cost.

- Feed and hydrate them: On the wedding day, provide bottled water, snacks, and even mimosas to ensure your bridesmaids are energised and well-nourished.

- Be considerate and respectful: Treat your bridesmaids as adults, and be mindful of their feelings and opinions. Be flexible and open to their suggestions to create a positive and collaborative environment.

- Say thank you: Express your gratitude often and give them heartfelt thanks for their efforts. Consider giving them personalised gifts or tokens of appreciation to show your appreciation.

Communicate early and often

Communicating early and often with your bridesmaids is key to ensuring they feel valued and appreciated. Here are some tips to achieve effective communication:

Provide Timely Information:

Give your bridesmaids all the important dates well in advance, including the engagement party, bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, and wedding day. Inform them about the bridesmaid dress shopping process, allowing them enough time for ordering and alterations. Share your bachelorette party plans early, and always be upfront about the time and financial commitments involved. Setting clear expectations in advance will enable your bridesmaids to plan accordingly and avoid last-minute surprises.

Be Considerate of Their Finances:

Recognize that being a bridesmaid can be financially demanding, from the dress to the bachelorette party and wedding gift. Be mindful of their financial situations and explore ways to reduce their costs. For example, consider gifting them their wedding-day jewelry, suggest renting bridesmaid dresses instead of purchasing, or opt for affordable accommodation for the bachelorette party. By demonstrating your awareness of their financial constraints, you'll foster a more inclusive and supportive environment.

Respect Their Time:

Understand that your bridesmaids have their own commitments, including full-time jobs, families, or studies. Avoid overwhelming them with excessive communication or demanding that wedding planning consumes their lives. Keep your emails and text messages concise and to the point. Respecting their time shows that you value their presence and contributions beyond the wedding preparations.

Encourage Open Dialogue:

Create a safe space for your bridesmaids to express their concerns and set realistic expectations. For instance, if a bridesmaid has financial constraints or cannot attend all pre-wedding events due to personal reasons, encourage them to share these concerns without fear of judgment. Flexibility and understanding will foster a more positive and supportive dynamic within your bridal party.

Delegate Tasks According to Their Skills:

Leverage the unique skills and talents of each bridesmaid when delegating wedding tasks. For example, a bridesmaid with strong organizational skills can be tasked with following up with suppliers, while a creative bridesmaid can assist with DIY favors and decorations. By assigning tasks that align with their strengths and interests, you'll make them feel valued and contribute to a more enjoyable wedding planning process.

Keep budgets in mind

Being a bridesmaid can be expensive, so it's important to keep budgets in mind. Here are some tips to help you save money and stay within your budget:

Evaluate Your Finances

Before accepting the role of a bridesmaid, it's crucial to assess your financial situation. Consider the costs involved, such as the bridesmaid dress, alterations, accessories, travel, accommodation, and gifts. Be honest with yourself about what you can realistically afford. If you're unsure about the expected expenses, don't be afraid to ask the bride, maid of honour, or other bridesmaids for an estimate of the costs.

Communicate Your Budget

Once you have an idea of the expected costs, communicate your budget to the bride and the rest of the bridal party. It's important to be transparent about your financial limitations to avoid any misunderstandings or resentment later on. If there are certain costs you cannot afford, let them know, and offer alternative suggestions or solutions. For example, if you can't afford to attend the bachelorette party, suggest a local celebration or offer to contribute in a way that fits your budget.

Plan and Prioritize

Create a detailed budget and prioritize your spending. Focus on the essential expenses first, such as the bridesmaid dress, travel, and accommodation. Look for ways to save money, such as shopping sales, using your own resources, or DIY gifts. If there are multiple bridesmaids, consider splitting costs for group gifts or shared accommodations.

Save on the Bridesmaid Dress

The bridesmaid dress is often one of the most significant expenses. Look for ways to save money by shopping sales, such as Black Friday deals, or renting a dress instead of buying. If the bride is open to it, suggest affordable retailers or second-hand options. Keep in mind that alterations may also be needed, so factor those costs into your budget.

Cut Down on Travel Costs

If the wedding involves travel, book early to avoid increased ticket costs. Use travel rewards points or consider sharing transportation and accommodations with other bridesmaids to reduce individual costs. Look for cheaper alternatives to the suggested hotels, or suggest staying in someone's home if it's an option.

Collaborate on Gifts

Instead of buying individual gifts, collaborate with the other bridesmaids to give a group gift that the couple will truly appreciate. This way, you can get the couple a more meaningful present without spending too much individually.

Remember, it's important to be mindful of your budget and communicate any financial limitations early on. Being a bridesmaid is an honour, but it shouldn't break the bank. With careful planning and open communication, you can find a balance between celebrating your friend and staying within your financial means.

Respect their time

It's important to remember that your bridesmaids have their own lives, jobs, and responsibilities outside of your wedding. So, while it's easy to get carried away with excitement and planning, you shouldn't expect them to put their lives on hold. Here are some ways to respect their time:

Keep Communications Concise

Keep your emails and text messages short and to the point. Avoid sending lengthy messages or contributing to never-ending group chats. Respect their time by valuing their attention and being mindful of their busy schedules.

Provide Timely Information

Give your bridesmaids the dates for all wedding-related events well in advance. This includes the engagement party, bridal shower, bachelorette party, rehearsal dinner, and, of course, the wedding day itself. By providing them with a clear timeline, they can plan their time effectively and be prepared for the commitments ahead.

Be Mindful of Their Finances

The costs associated with being a bridesmaid can quickly add up, from dresses to travel expenses. Be considerate of their financial situation and think of ways to reduce their costs. For example, you could gift them their wedding-day jewellery or suggest renting dresses instead of buying them. Only plan events that are affordable for everyone, and be transparent about the expected costs from the start.

Delegate Tasks According to Their Skills and Availability

Your bridesmaids are there to support you, but it's important to be mindful of their time and energy. Delegate tasks according to their skills, talents, and availability. If one bridesmaid is great at following up, ask them to handle supplier communications. If another is artistic, they can help with DIY projects. This way, you're making the most of their time and talents while also showing your appreciation.

Respect Their Availability

Not all of your bridesmaids may be able to attend every pre-wedding event. Be understanding of their personal commitments and work obligations. Communicate your expectations clearly, but also be prepared to accept that there may be times when they can't fulfil every request. Flexibility and understanding are key to maintaining a harmonious bridal party.

Choose flattering dresses or let them pick their own

Choosing a dress that flatters your bridesmaids' figures and letting them pick their own dresses are two ways to go about selecting your bridesmaids' attire.

Choosing Flattering Dresses

If you decide to choose the dresses for your bridesmaids, it's important to keep in mind that one size or style does not fit all. Avoid choosing a form-fitting strapless gown and instead, opt for a mix-and-match dress trend by giving your bridesmaids a color palette and event style to choose from. This will allow them to pick an ensemble that suits their body type and makes them feel confident.

Letting Them Pick Their Own Dresses

Letting your bridesmaids pick their own dresses can give them confidence and reduce stress for you. It also ensures that they will be comfortable and feel good on your wedding day. When giving your bridesmaids freedom to choose their attire, be specific about any guidelines you have, such as color, length, material, and style. For example, if you want a traditionally cohesive look, ask them to stick to a specific color or color palette.

Additionally, consider making dress shopping a group activity by going to brunch and then hitting the stores together. This can be a fun bonding experience for your bridal party and will help busier bridesmaids find time to shop. If some of your bridesmaids don't live in the same area, you can schedule a video call with them as they shop or create a dedicated group chat for dress discussions.

Finally, don't forget about shoes and accessories. Choosing a specific pair of shoes or shoe style can bring a cohesive look to your bridal party. Similarly, let your bridesmaids know what jewelry you want them to wear, or give them the freedom to choose their own.

Let them choose their own hair and makeup

Letting your bridesmaids choose their own hair and makeup is a great way to ensure they feel their best on your big day. Each of your bridesmaids is unique, so why not let them showcase their individual style and beauty?

Costs

There are a few options when it comes to covering the costs of hair and makeup services. Traditionally, the bride pays for all glam costs for the bridal party. This gives you more control over the beauty agenda and allows for more time with your bridesmaids on the day. However, this option can be expensive and difficult to coordinate, especially with a large bridal party.

Another option is to let your bridesmaids pay for their own hair and makeup services. This approach gives your bridesmaids freedom to choose their preferred stylists and is more cost-effective, especially if you have a large bridal party. It also relieves some of the financial burden on the bride, who typically bears the cost of other aspects of the wedding.

A third option is for the bride and bridesmaids to split the cost of hair and makeup services. This can be a great way to pamper your bridesmaids and make them feel special without breaking the bank. For example, you could offer to pay for hair services and let your bridesmaids choose whether or not they want to pay for professional makeup.

Communication

It is important to communicate your expectations regarding hair and makeup to your bridesmaids clearly and respectfully. If you are unable to pay for their hair and makeup services, let them know as soon as possible so they can plan and budget accordingly. You can simply say something like, "I'm planning to do my hair and makeup myself, and you're welcome to do the same or go to a professional. It's up to you!". This gives your bridesmaids the option to join you and share the experience, or to make their own arrangements.

If you are making professional hair and makeup services optional, be sure to provide your bridesmaids with guidelines and recommendations to ensure everyone is on the same page. You can create a "glam mood board" on Pinterest or Canva to share your vision and inspire your bridesmaids. Additionally, consider sending them a list of preferred hair stylists and makeup artists, especially if you have a specific look in mind.

Benefits

Letting your bridesmaids choose their own hair and makeup styles has several benefits. Firstly, it reduces the financial burden on both the bride and the bridesmaids, as they can choose services that fit their budgets. Secondly, it allows your bridesmaids to feel more comfortable and confident by choosing styles that suit their individual preferences and comfort levels. Lastly, it creates a calmer and more relaxed atmosphere on the morning of the wedding, as bridesmaids can arrive at their own pace and there is less pressure on the bride to coordinate a large group.

Remember, your bridesmaids are there to support you and celebrate your special day. By letting them choose their own hair and makeup styles, you can ensure they feel valued and appreciated while also reducing the stress and financial strain on everyone involved.

Frequently asked questions