The Best Man's Guide To Speech Perfection

Being the best man at a wedding is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of pressure. The best man's speech is a highlight of the wedding, and while it's just 10 minutes or so on the day, the memories of this speech will last a lifetime. Here are some tips to help you deliver the perfect best man's speech.

Prepare in advance and practice

Write it down

Although it's important to be yourself and speak from the heart, it's also crucial that you prepare your speech in advance. Don't try to wing it or speak off the cuff. Start by jotting down some bullet points, key messages, jokes, and quotes. Once you've written your speech, spend time practising it. The more you practise, the less nervous you'll be, and the more natural you'll sound.

Keep it short and sweet

Your speech should be no longer than 10 minutes, and ideally, around 5 minutes. The guests will already have listened to several other speeches and will be eager to eat cake and get on with the celebrations.

Structure and content

Here's a basic framework to help you structure your speech:

• Introduction: Introduce yourself and explain how you know the groom. Thank everyone for coming and express your gratitude to those who made the wedding possible, including the bride and groom's parents.
• Story: Share a short, engaging, and entertaining story about your relationship with the groom. This could be about how you met, a memorable shared experience, or when he first met his bride. Keep it light, fun, and heartfelt.
• Couple's story: Briefly recount how the couple met and their relationship developed. Discuss why they make a great match and how they complement each other.
• Advice and good wishes: Offer some light-hearted and positive advice to the newlyweds.
• Closing: Summarise your speech with a final thought or wish. This could be a reflection on love and marriage, or a simple message to the couple.

Practice makes perfect

Rehearse your speech several times. Practise in front of a mirror, or even better, practise in front of actual people who can give you instant feedback. Record yourself to fine-tune your timing and delivery.

Stay sober

Although it's natural to feel nervous, try to avoid drinking too much alcohol before your speech. You don't want to be drunk, slur your words, or make inappropriate jokes.

Be yourself

Be true to yourself and your natural mannerisms. If you're usually not a joker, don't try to crack jokes. Be confident and speak from the heart.

Be yourself and be confident

Being yourself and staying confident are key to delivering the perfect best man's speech. It's important to be authentic and true to yourself; don't try to be a comedian if that's not your style. Confidence will help you deliver a speech that is well-received by the couple and the guests. Here are some tips to help you achieve this:

Be Yourself

• Don't feel pressured to be funny: Many best men feel the weight of expectation to be hilarious, but this isn't a hard and fast requirement. It's perfectly fine to give a heartfelt speech that focuses on your friend and the couple. If you do want to incorporate humour, make sure it's appropriate and not at the expense of the couple.
• Be sincere: Speak from the heart and let your genuine thoughts and feelings come through. This is your chance to express your love and appreciation for your friend.
• Keep it appropriate: Avoid inside jokes, controversial topics, and anything that might embarrass the couple or their families. Steer clear of stories about the groom's past relationships or any sensitive subjects.
• Make it about the couple: While it's natural to want to talk about your friendship with the groom, remember that the speech is ultimately about celebrating the couple. Share stories and anecdotes that showcase the groom's character and values, and highlight their compatibility.
• Be thankful: Express gratitude towards the couple, their families, and everyone who made the wedding possible. It's a nice touch to single out the bride and groom's parents by name and offer a toast to them for raising wonderful children and putting on a great wedding.

Be Confident

• Prepare in advance: Write down your speech and practice it. The more you practise, the more natural and confident you will sound. Learn some key points and be ready to improvise around them, rather than memorising the whole speech word-for-word.
• Keep it short and sweet: Aim for a speech of around 5 minutes. This will help you stay focused and ensure the guests remain engaged.
• Stay calm: It's normal to feel nervous, but try to stay relaxed and confident. Take deep breaths, and remember that it's okay to show a little nervousness—it's an honour for everyone involved.
• Make eye contact: Avoid reading directly from a piece of paper. Use bullet points or cue cards to help you stay on track, and focus on connecting with the guests.

Keep it short and sincere

Keeping your speech short and sincere is one of the most important factors when delivering a best man's speech. The ideal length is around 5 to 7 minutes, or 750 words when written out. This is the perfect amount of time to warm up the crowd, share a few stories, and land an emotional finish without testing anyone's attention span.

To ensure your speech is concise and to the point, it's a good idea to prepare in advance and write it down. Practise your speech several times, and time yourself to make sure it doesn't exceed the 5-7 minute window. It's also a good idea to bullet point your speech, as flipping through pages will cause people to lose interest.

When writing your speech, it's important to be sincere and speak from the heart. A shorter speech delivered with genuine emotion will always outshine a longer one that feels scripted. Your role is to celebrate your friend's happiness and welcome a new member to your extended family, so keep that purpose in mind, and the right words will come naturally. Focus on meaningful anecdotes and heartfelt messages, and create an emotional connection with the audience and the couple.

If you're nervous about speaking in front of people, it's perfectly okay to read your speech. Just make sure to practise beforehand so that you can maintain eye contact and engage with your audience.

Avoid controversial topics, inside jokes and exes

While it's important to be yourself when delivering a best man's speech, it's also crucial to be tactful and respectful. Steer clear of controversial topics, inside jokes, and any references to ex-partners. Here are some tips to help you navigate these potential pitfalls:

Controversial Topics

It's natural to want to be funny and entertaining in your speech, but it's important to avoid controversial or offensive topics. Remember, your goal is to celebrate the couple and make them look good. Stay away from telling embarrassing stories or making crude jokes. Keep the humour light and good-natured. For example, instead of sharing an embarrassing story about the groom, opt for a humorous anecdote that showcases his positive qualities, like his kindness or sense of humour. This will ensure your speech is well-received by the couple and their guests.

Inside Jokes

While inside jokes can be tempting, they are best avoided in a best man's speech. Remember, you want to keep your speech inclusive and engaging for all the guests. Sharing inside jokes will only leave most of the audience feeling left out and confused. Opt for more universal humour or anecdotes that everyone can relate to and understand. This will help ensure that your speech is enjoyable for everyone in attendance.

Exes

Absolutely refrain from mentioning the groom's ex-partners or past relationships. This is a big no-no and can be extremely uncomfortable for the couple and their families. Keep the focus on the present and the wonderful future ahead of them. If you must share a story about the groom's romantic life, stick to more general topics, like the moment he realised his partner was "the one" or how their relationship has positively impacted him.

Remember, the key to a successful best man's speech is to be thoughtful, respectful, and mindful of the couple and the audience. By avoiding controversial topics, inside jokes, and exes, you'll be well on your way to delivering a memorable and well-received speech.

Thank and introduce yourself, the couple, and their families

Thanking and introducing yourself, the couple, and their families is an important part of a best man's speech. Here are some tips and suggestions to help you craft this section effectively:

Thanking

• Begin by expressing gratitude to those who made the wedding possible, including the couple's parents for raising them and putting on the wedding.
• Thank the guests for attending and celebrating with the couple.
• Show appreciation to the couple for choosing you as the best man and for their friendship.
• Acknowledge the bride for welcoming you into her and the groom's lives.
• Thank the bridesmaids for their support and contribution to the wedding.

Introducing Yourself

• Briefly explain who you are and your relationship with the groom. This helps the audience understand your connection and why you have been chosen as the best man.
• Share a short story or anecdote about your friendship with the groom. This could be how you met, a memorable shared experience, or a light-hearted incident that showcases his character and your bond.
• If there are multiple best men, consider a joint introduction, explaining your individual connections with the groom.

Introducing the Couple

• Share a story about how the couple met and their relationship journey. Keep it light, entertaining, and heartfelt.
• Discuss why the couple is a great match and how they complement each other. Highlight their compatibility and the positive impact they have on each other.
• If appropriate, include a humorous anecdote about the couple, but avoid anything too embarrassing or controversial.
• Mention how the bride and groom balance each other, especially if one has a personality trait that is the opposite of the other.

Remember to be sincere, appropriate, and mindful of the audience's attention span. This section should be a celebration of the couple and your friendship, setting a positive and memorable tone for the rest of your speech.

Frequently asked questions