The Brotherly Best Man: Tradition Or Transition?

When it comes to weddings, there are many traditions and expectations that people feel pressured to follow. One common question that grooms often ask is whether their brother should always be their best man. While some people may feel that their brother is the obvious choice for best man, it is not a requirement, and there are no hard and fast rules. Ultimately, it is the groom's decision to make, and he should choose whoever makes him feel comfortable and can help ease any wedding-related anxieties. This could be a friend or even a female relative or friend. If the groom has multiple brothers, he may choose to include them all as best men or find other ways to involve them in the wedding, such as groomsmen, ushers, or speech-givers. While family pressure can be intense, it is important to remember that the wedding is about the couple getting married, and they should feel free to make their own choices.

Brothers are often the best choice for best man

While it is not mandatory to have your brother as your best man, brothers are often the best choice for the role. A brother, whether younger or older, usually knows the groom well, has likely met the fiancée/fiancé, and would know what kind of bachelor party to throw. Brothers can also help with wedding tasks, such as holding the rings, helping to pick up the tuxes, and deciding on the beer for the reception.

If you have multiple brothers, you can have them both take on the role of best man, or divide the responsibilities between them. This can help to avoid any potential conflicts and prevent a brother-on-brother smackdown. It is also possible to have a brother and a best friend share the role. However, if you have more than one brother, it is important to consider their feelings and find another way to include them in your celebration if they are not chosen as the best man.

There are many other ways to include your brother in your wedding if he is not the best man. He can be a groomsman, usher, driver, speech-giver, or ring-bearer. He can also do a reading or play music during the ceremony, or even be the officiant if he is a good public speaker. If your brother has special skills, such as graphic design or baking, you can put those talents to use for your wedding.

Ultimately, the choice of best man is a personal one, and there is no hard etiquette that says it has to be your brother. It is your day, so choose someone who will make you feel comfortable and ease any anxieties.

You can have two best men

It's your wedding, and you can have two best men if you want! There are no rules that say you can't. If you have two brothers, for example, it can be hard to choose between them, so why not have both? The same goes for a pairing of a brother and a best friend.

If you do decide to have two best men, it's a good idea to divide up the responsibilities between them to avoid any potential conflicts. For instance, one could be in charge of the bachelor party, while the other could hold on to the rings. You could also ask them to give a joint speech, perhaps with a fun microphone handoff, to avoid any awkwardness from duplicate speeches.

If you're worried about your brothers' feelings, or potential family drama, it's a good idea to set expectations early and be upfront. You could always have another role for your brother who isn't the best man, such as a groomsman, usher, or driver.

You don't have to choose your brother

Ultimately, it's your wedding and your decision. You don't have to choose your brother as your best man, and there are many other ways to include him in your wedding.

If you don't want to choose your brother as your best man, it's a good idea to set expectations early on and be upfront about it. You don't need to apologise or make a big announcement, but it might be helpful to mention who you've chosen as your best man. This can be especially important if you think your brother will be disappointed or if it might cause drama within your family.

• Groomsman: Your brother can still be included in the wedding party as a groomsman, even if you choose someone else to be your best man.
• Usher: Your brother can greet guests and help them find their seats, especially for older relatives.
• Escort for grandparents: If you are including your grandparents in the processional, your brother can walk them down the aisle.
• Speech-giver: Your brother can give a speech or reading, such as a Bible verse, a poem, or lines from your favourite song.
• Ring bearer: Although this role often goes to younger children, it can be a fun and honourable job for your brother.
• Involve him in surprises: Brothers can be great confidants and can help plan and execute surprises for your spouse-to-be.
• Driver: If your brother has a nice car, he can drive you to and from the wedding venues.
• Officiant: If your brother is a great public speaker, he could be your non-legal celebrant.
• Baker/Crafter/Designer: If your brother has any special skills, such as graphic design or baking, you can put his talents to use for your wedding.
• Handyman: Your brother can be a general helper, setting up the venue, making collections, or hanging decorations.

You can ask your brother to give a speech

While it is common for grooms to choose their brother as their best man, it is not a requirement. If you don't want your brother to be your best man, you can still include him in your wedding in other ways. One way is to ask him to give a speech. He can share fun stories from your childhood and add a personal touch to the celebration.

If you have multiple brothers, you can ask them all to give a speech. To avoid an overlap, as seen in one relative's wedding, ensure they don't give the same speech. You can organise a microphone handoff between them or have them deliver their speeches in perfect unison for a fun twist.

If your brother is a great public speaker, you could also ask him to be the officiant or celebrant at your wedding. This role would allow him to play a more prominent part in the ceremony and add a unique element to the proceedings.

Additionally, you can involve your brother in other ways, such as making him a groomsman, usher, driver, or ring bearer. You could also ask him to do a reading or play music during the ceremony. These options will ensure your brother still feels valued and included in your special day.

There are other ways to include your brother

It is not necessary for your brother to be your best man, and there are many other ways to include him in your wedding.

Firstly, if you have multiple brothers, you can have them all be your best men. If you would rather choose a friend, you can still include your brother(s) in the wedding party as a groomsman. If you do so, it is thoughtful to give your brother the prime spot immediately next to the best man. Another idea is to have your brother escort your grandparents down the aisle. If your grandparents are included in the processional, your brother can hold your grandmother's arm while your grandfather follows closely behind.

Your brother can also be involved in the wedding without being part of the wedding party. He could be an usher, greeting guests and helping them find their seats. You could also ask him to give a reading or play music during the ceremony. If he is a great public speaker, he could even be your non-legal celebrant. If he has a nice car, he could be the driver for the day. If he has other special skills, such as baking or graphic design, you could ask him to make your wedding cake or design your stationery.

Frequently asked questions