The Ultimate Guide To Being A Best Man

Being the best man at a wedding is a huge honour and a lot of responsibility. The best man is the groom's right-hand man and go-to confidante, supporting him throughout the planning process and on the big day itself. From organising the stag do to giving a speech, the role involves a lot more than simply smiling for photos.

The best man is usually the groom's closest friend or relative, but there are no restrictions – it doesn't even have to be a man! The role includes a variety of tasks, such as choosing and renting wedding formalwear, acting as the point of contact for the groomsmen, and keeping the wedding rings safe until they are exchanged.

The best man is also expected to be the life and soul of the party, getting guests onto the dance floor and creating a warm and inviting atmosphere. It's a big job, but with the right preparation, any best man can rise to the occasion and help create a special, stress-free day for the happy couple.

Organise the stag do

Organising the stag do (or bachelor party) is one of the best man's most important duties. Here's what you need to do:

Planning

First, ask the groom for a list of people he wants to attend. Then, pick a date that works for everyone. It's a good idea to choose a date at least a month before the wedding so that the groom and guests have time to recover. Next, decide on a location and budget. A big blowout in Vegas sounds amazing, but only if everyone can afford it. It might be better to keep things closer to home so that all the groom's friends can be there.

Logistics

Now it's time to get into the details. What will you do at the stag do? Will you be going out for drinks, playing golf, or doing an activity like go-karting? Will you be staying overnight, or just having a day event? It's a good idea to set up a group chat with all the guests so that everyone can stay in the loop and give their input.

Paying

The cost of the stag do should be split evenly among everyone who attends, except for the groom. You shouldn't be expected to pay for the entire thing.

Timing

Try to plan the stag do for at least a month before the wedding, if not earlier. This gives everyone time to recover and ensures that the groom looks his best on the big day.

Personalisation

Think of ways to personalise the stag do and make it special for the groom. You can also plan funny pranks to play on him (nothing that will get him arrested, though!).

Confirmation

A week or two before the stag do, confirm all the details with the guests. Make sure everyone knows where to be and when, and that they've booked any necessary travel or accommodation.

Write a brilliant speech

Writing a best man's speech can be daunting, but with careful planning, personal touches, and a confident delivery, you can deliver a memorable and brilliant speech. Here are some tips to help you craft a standout speech:

Start with an Introduction:

Begin by introducing yourself and explaining your connection to the groom and the couple. This is your chance to break the ice and make a good first impression. You can share a quick joke or a light-hearted anecdote to engage the audience from the start. For example, you can say something like, "For those who don't know me, thank you so much for coming to my wedding. [pause for laughter] Sorry about that...I'm a little nervous."

Thank the Previous Speakers:

It is considered polite to acknowledge and thank the previous speakers, such as the maid of honor or the couple's parents. This helps create a sense of continuity and shows your appreciation. For instance, you can say, "Let's give a round of applause for the amazing speech by the maid of honor. And I'd like to express my gratitude to the couple's parents for raising such wonderful people and hosting this fantastic celebration."

Share Personal Stories and Anecdotes:

The key to a memorable best man's speech is to include personal stories and anecdotes about the groom. Share fond memories, funny incidents, or heartwarming moments that showcase the groom's personality and your relationship with him. Avoid long-winded stories and try to keep them lighthearted and concise. For example, "I remember when we first met in college. We laughed until we cried and accidentally stuck pizza dough on the ceiling during our pizza-tossing competitions. Those are memories I'll always cherish."

Talk About the Couple's Relationship:

As the best man, you have a unique perspective on the couple's relationship. Share how they met, the spark between them, and how their relationship has grown. If you played a role in bringing them together, don't forget to mention that! For instance, "I know I said I'm the best man, but I lied. I'm actually Cupid because I introduced these two love birds eight years ago."

Compliment and Toast the Couple:

Make sure to compliment both the groom and their spouse. Highlight their strengths, the positive impact they have on each other, and your wishes for their future together. Conclude your speech with a heartfelt toast, wishing them a lifetime of happiness, love, and joy. For example, "I'm so happy that [Groom's Name] found his perfect match in [Spouse's Name]. They bring out the best in each other, and I wish them all the best in their married life. Cheers to the newlyweds!"

Keep it Positive and Lighthearted:

While it's okay to poke fun at the groom gently, avoid making your speech a roast. Keep the tone positive, and focus on celebrating the couple's love. Refrain from mentioning sensitive topics such as previous marriages, adult humor, or anything that might offend the guests. Remember, the goal is to create a warm and joyful atmosphere.

Practice and Prepare:

Don't underestimate the power of practice! Rehearse your speech multiple times to refine your delivery and build confidence. Practice in front of a mirror, with friends, or even record yourself to get feedback. The more you practice, the more comfortable you'll feel on the big day.

Consider Your Delivery Style:

There are a few options for delivering your speech. You can print out your speech and read from a script, use bullet points or cue cards as a guide, or memorize your speech. Choose the option that makes you feel most comfortable. Additionally, consider your speaking style. Are you laid-back and sarcastic, or energetic and playful? Exaggerate your natural style to engage the audience and make your speech memorable.

Remember, the key to a brilliant best man's speech is to be yourself, celebrate the couple, and have fun with it! Good luck!

Help choose suits

As the best man, you will be expected to help choose the suits for the bridal party. This is a great opportunity to offer your services to the couple and be there for your friend. Here are some tips to help you navigate this responsibility:

Offer Your Help

It is a good idea to offer your services to the couple when it comes to choosing the suits. You can also offer to round up the other groomsmen and organise a time to go suit shopping together. If you are spread across the country, it might be easier to ask for measurements instead. Don't be afraid to voice your opinion when the groom asks for it. Remember, you both need to look your best on this important day.

Discuss the Style and Budget

As the best man, you can discuss ideas with the couple about the style of the suits. You should also decide whether the suits will be bought or hired. Traditionally, the couple pays for the wedding suits or their hire, but it is important to discuss financial contributions openly and upfront. Communicate this with the groomsmen so that everyone is aware before trying anything on.

Help with Sizing and Fittings

You can help the groom and groomsmen with sizing and any final fittings. This includes gathering everyone's measurements, giving the group an order-by deadline, or even placing the order yourself. You can also keep an eye out for any last-minute suit fittings the groom or groomsmen might need as the wedding gets closer.

Return and Clean Suits

After the wedding, you might be asked to help return hired items, such as the suits. If the suits weren't hired, you may be tasked with taking them to be dry-cleaned. The sooner this is done, the better.

Keep the wedding rings safe

Keeping the wedding rings safe is one of the most important duties of the best man. Here are some tips to ensure you don't misplace the rings:

Before the Wedding

It is a good idea to discuss with the couple where they would like you to keep the rings before the ceremony. They might want you to keep them on your person at all times, or they might prefer that you store them in a safe place. If you are responsible for the rings for a longer period of time, such as several days or weeks before the wedding, it is best to store them in a secure location.

On the Wedding Day

On the day of the wedding, keep the rings on your person at all times. You might want to invest in a small bag or box to keep them in, so that they don't get lost in your pocket. If you are also responsible for other items, such as the groom's phone or wallet, make sure you keep the rings separate to avoid any mix-ups.

During the Ceremony

As the best man, you will usually be responsible for handing over the rings during the ceremony. Make sure you are familiar with the order of the ceremony, so that you know when the rings will be needed. If there is a ring bearer, you will need to fasten the rings to the pillow they will be carried on. Once the ring bearer reaches the end of the aisle, they will pass the rings back to you, so make sure you are standing close by.

In Case of Loss

Despite your best efforts, there is always a chance that you might misplace the rings. In this case, it is important to stay calm and retrace your steps. Check all your pockets and anywhere else you might have put the rings down. If you still can't find them, inform the couple as soon as possible. Backup rings or symbolic stand-ins can be used for the ceremony, and there is still a chance that the original rings will turn up later.

Support the groom

Being the best man is about much more than just giving a speech. It's about being the groom's go-to person, confidante, and personal valet. Here are some ways you can support the groom:

Before the Wedding

As the best man, you should be the groom's main point of contact and support system. You can help him with planning and administrative tasks, such as booking vendors, managing RSVPs, and coordinating schedules. Offer to help with setting up on the day, and be a source of calm and positive energy for the groom.

On the Wedding Day

One of your most important duties is to keep the wedding rings safe. You may also be asked to hold the couple's personal items, such as their phones or money. Help the groom get ready, and remind him to take a moment to breathe—weddings can be stressful! You'll also need to help organise the ushers and make sure everyone is where they need to be, when they need to be.

During the Ceremony

During the processional, the best man traditionally walks down the aisle after the groom and takes his place standing closest to the groom at the altar. You may also be asked to fasten the rings to a pillow if there is a ring bearer.

At the Reception

It's your job to get the party started! Ask a willing bridesmaid, mum, or auntie to join you on the dance floor, and soon you'll have everyone up and dancing. You'll also need to give your best man's speech, so make sure you've prepared something insightful and entertaining.

After the Wedding

There are a few tasks to take care of after the wedding, such as returning hired items and making sure wedding gifts are safely stored if the couple goes on their honeymoon straight away.

Frequently asked questions