George Boyle
The best man has a crucial role to play in the lead-up to the wedding, on the big day itself, and even after the ceremony. While the best man's role is often thought of as being responsible for the bachelor party and giving a memorable speech, there are many other duties involved. In the run-up to the wedding, the best man is usually in charge of organising the bachelor party, as well as assisting the groom with any pre-wedding planning, including choosing the wedding suits and rings. The best man will also be expected to attend the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner, where they may be asked to make a small toast to kick off the festivities.
What You'll Learn
Attend the rehearsal and dinner
As the best man, you are expected to attend the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner. This is your chance to bond with the other half of the wedding party and greet the couple's relatives. You will receive instructions on arrival times, where to stand, and what to say. You will also be advised on what to do during the rehearsal. After the rehearsal, you can relax and enjoy the dinner. It is a great opportunity to spend time with the bride, groom, and other bridal party members.
During the rehearsal, you may be tasked with wrangling the wedding party so that the schedule moves along without a hitch. You may also make a small toast during the rehearsal dinner to kick off the festivities. Your presence at the rehearsal and dinner is an important part of your role as the best man, and it will help you prepare for the big day.
At the rehearsal, you will get a sense of the timing and flow of the ceremony, which will be especially helpful if you are responsible for keeping the wedding rings safe during the ceremony. You will also have the opportunity to familiarise yourself with the venue and the other members of the wedding party, making it easier to coordinate and communicate on the wedding day.
The rehearsal dinner is a great opportunity to socialise and build rapport with the couple's families and the rest of the bridal party. It is also a chance to relax and enjoy the company of your friends before the big day. It is important to be present and engaged during the dinner, as it is a key part of the wedding celebrations.
Overall, attending the rehearsal and dinner is an essential part of your duties as the best man. It will help you prepare for the wedding day, and it is also a chance to support the groom and build relationships with the other members of the wedding party and the couple's families.
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Give a speech
The best man's speech is one of the most important parts of the wedding. It's a chance to celebrate the newlyweds and their love story, and it's often one of the most daunting tasks for the best man. Here are some tips to help you deliver a memorable and appropriate speech:
Before the Speech
Start preparing your speech early. It's recommended to begin planning your speech three months before the wedding. This gives you plenty of time to think about what you want to say and practice beforehand. You should aim for a length of around 5-10 minutes—enough time to share some memorable stories and celebrate the couple without going on for too long.
Content of the Speech
When writing the speech, reflect on your relationship with the groom. Share a funny story or two about your friendship, and then shift the focus to the couple. Thank them for giving you the role of best man, and deliver the speech as calmly as possible.
Delivery of the Speech
Remember to keep your speech appropriate and in good taste. It's fine to include jokes or humorous stories, but ensure they are suitable for the crowd and respectful to the bride and groom.
Timing of the Speech
The best man speech is typically delivered during the reception, after the father-of-the-bride and/or father-of-the-groom toasts, and before the maid-of-honor speech. However, in some cases, the best man may be asked to give their speech during the rehearsal dinner.
Other Speech Tips
- Be organised and prepared. Have note cards with key points to help you stay on track.
- Speak from the heart and be genuine in your delivery.
- Be a good listener. Pay attention to the other speeches to ensure you don't repeat any stories or messages.
- Stay calm and confident. Take deep breaths and remember that everyone is there to celebrate the couple, and they want you to succeed.
- Enjoy the moment and have fun!
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Assist with the rings
As the best man, you will be responsible for assisting with the rings during the wedding rehearsal. This is one of the most important duties of the best man, so it is crucial that you are present at the rehearsal. Here are some detailed instructions to help you with this task:
Before the Rehearsal
It is a good idea to confirm with the groom where the wedding rings will be kept before the rehearsal. The groom may entrust the rings to you ahead of time, or they may be kept in a safe place until the rehearsal begins. Ensure that you have a safe and secure pocket to hold the rings during the rehearsal, such as an inner jacket pocket, and check beforehand that your pocket does not have any holes.
During the Rehearsal
If there is no ring bearer, you will be responsible for holding the wedding rings during the rehearsal. Practice walking down the aisle and taking your place at the altar, standing closest to the groom. If there is a ring bearer, they will pass the rings to you as you line up for the processional, and you will keep them safe until they are requested by the officiant during the ring exchange. Practice handing the rings to the officiant smoothly and discreetly.
After the Rehearsal
After the rehearsal is complete, confirm with the groom where the rings will be kept until the wedding day. If the groom entrusts you with keeping the rings safe, ensure that you have a secure location to store them, such as a locked box or a safe. Keep the rings with you at all times and be mindful of their location to ensure they do not get lost or misplaced.
On the Wedding Day
On the day of the wedding, you will bring the rings to the ceremony and hold onto them until the ring exchange. Practice handing the rings to the couple during the rehearsal so that you are confident and prepared for the big moment. Your role as the keeper of the rings is crucial, as it ensures the couple can exchange their vows with ease, knowing that the rings are safe and readily available.
Remember, the wedding rehearsal is a great opportunity to familiarise yourself with your responsibilities and iron out any last-minute details. Don't be afraid to ask questions and seek clarification on any aspects of your role, including the handling of the rings.
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Help with the groom's attire
As the best man, you'll be the groom's right-hand man and it's your job to ensure he looks his best on the big day. Here are some tips to help you with the groom's attire:
Suit or Tux?
The groom's attire will depend on the formality of the event. If the wedding is during the day, outdoors, or in the warmer months, a suit in a lighter colour is a good option. For an evening wedding, a high-end venue, or a black-tie event, a dark suit or tuxedo is more appropriate.
Matching the Groomsmen
The groom's attire should complement that of the groomsmen, and everyone should be dressed in the same level of formality. The groomsmen's attire should also complement the bridesmaids' outfits, but no one should be stealing the spotlight from the happy couple!
The groomsmen don't have to wear the exact same outfit as the groom, but their attire should be coordinated. The groom can stand out by wearing a tux while the groomsmen wear suits, or by wearing a different colour or style of suit.
Timing is Everything
Make sure the groom and groomsmen order their outfits well in advance of the wedding—at least a couple of months before the big day. This will allow time for any alterations to be made and for any issues with shipping or sizing to be resolved.
Accessories
Help the groom choose any accessories, such as cufflinks, shoes, ties, or suspenders. These can be used to add a pop of colour or a personal touch to the groom's outfit.
Emergency Kit
On the day of the wedding, be prepared for any last-minute issues by putting together an emergency kit for the groom and groomsmen. Include items such as extra cufflinks, shoe polish, an extra tie, deodorant, and a stain remover.
Remember, as the best man, your main duty is to support the groom and ensure he looks and feels his best on his wedding day. So offer your help and advice, but also be mindful of the groom's preferences and wishes.
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Organise transportation
As the best man, organising transportation is one of your key responsibilities. Here are some tips to help you ace this task:
Book Transportation Services in Advance:
It is important to book transportation services early to ensure the best choice and price. This may include organising transport for the groom and bride, or just for yourself and the groomsmen. By booking early, you can secure reliable transportation for the wedding party and ensure a smooth journey to the venue.
Coordinate with the Wedding Party:
As the best man, you are the leader of the groomsmen. Communicate with them about transportation plans and ensure they are aware of the arrangements. Share important details such as pick-up locations, timings, and any special instructions. This will help everyone arrive at the venue on time and avoid last-minute confusion.
Consider the Couple's Preferences:
Discuss the couple's preferences for transportation. They may have specific ideas or requests, such as a particular type of vehicle or decorations for the getaway car. Work with the couple to understand their vision and make it a reality.
Manage Logistics:
Pay attention to the small details when organising transportation. This includes ensuring that the vehicle has enough space for everyone, confirming pick-up and drop-off locations, and providing clear directions if needed. Additionally, consider any special requirements, such as accommodating elderly relatives or ensuring accessibility for guests with disabilities.
Stay Organised:
Staying organised is crucial when managing transportation. Create a timeline for the wedding day, including transportation arrangements, and share it with the wedding party. This will help everyone stay on schedule and ensure that transportation runs smoothly.
Be Flexible:
Remember to be flexible and adaptable when organising transportation. There may be last-minute changes or unexpected delays. Stay calm and be prepared to adjust your plans as needed. By being flexible, you can handle any surprises and ensure that the wedding party arrives at the venue without any major hiccups.
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Frequently asked questions
The best man is usually in charge of wrangling the wedding party so that the schedule moves along without a hitch. They may also be asked to make a small toast during the rehearsal dinner to kick off the festivities.
The best man typically helps the groom with wedding planning tasks, such as decorating for the rehearsal dinner, arranging transportation, and helping out-of-town guests with directions. They also usually take the lead in planning the bachelor party and may be in charge of coordinating the groom's gift from the groomsmen.
On the day of the wedding, the best man is the groom's right-hand man. They are often tasked with keeping the wedding rings safe until they are exchanged and signing the marriage license as a legal witness. They may also be asked to hold onto the groom's phone and help calm any pre-wedding jitters.
After the wedding, the best man may be asked to help with tasks such as returning the groom's tuxedo, checking in with vendors, and coordinating and decorating the getaway car.
