Rsvp Etiquette: Wording Your Wedding Invitation

Asking for an RSVP on a wedding invitation is a crucial part of wedding planning. The French phrase Répondez, s'il vous plaît, or RSVP, is a polite way of requesting a response from guests. This allows couples to finalise their guest list, create a seating plan, and manage their budget. When asking for an RSVP, it is important to include a deadline, usually two to four weeks before the wedding, and to provide clear instructions on how to respond, such as through a wedding website or by post. It is also helpful to include a line for guests to indicate their meal preferences or any dietary restrictions. While it is not mandatory, providing RSVP cards with pre-addressed and stamped envelopes can make it easier for guests to respond.

How to ask for an RSVP by a certain date

Asking for an RSVP by a certain date is an important part of wedding planning. Here are some tips on how to do it effectively:

Timing

It is recommended to send out wedding invitations around six to eight weeks before the wedding date. This gives guests enough time to clear their schedules and make travel arrangements if needed. The RSVP deadline should be set for around two to four weeks before the wedding date. This allows enough time to finalise the headcount for the caterers and to complete the seating plan.

Wording

When asking for an RSVP by a certain date, it is important to be clear and direct. Here are some examples of wording that can be used:

• "Please RSVP by [date]"
• "Kindly respond by [date]"
• "The favour of a reply is requested by [date]"
• "Please respond by [date] to [phone number/email address]"

Format

The RSVP request can be included on the invitation itself or on a separate RSVP card. If including an RSVP card, provide a pre-addressed and pre-stamped envelope to make it easy for guests to respond.

Reminders

It is a good idea to send out reminders before the RSVP deadline, especially to those who have not yet responded. This can be done via email, text, phone call, or social media. It is also a good idea to include a reminder in any updates or communications about the wedding that are sent to guests.

Online RSVPs

If accepting online RSVPs through a wedding website or email, ensure that this information is clearly communicated to guests. Provide the relevant website or email address, and consider including this information on the invitation or RSVP card.

How to ask for meal preferences

When it comes to asking for meal preferences on your wedding invitation, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, it's important to know how many options you plan to offer your guests. If you're having a set menu, there's no need to include meal choices in the invitation. However, if you're offering different options, it's a good idea to include the full menu with your invitation.

Include a separate response card:

Provide a separate response card with your invitation, which can be left blank or have a pre-printed template. If you choose a blank card, guests can write a personal message confirming their meal preference. This is a more traditional approach. On the other hand, a pre-printed template will have specific questions or tick boxes for guests to indicate their meal choices and any dietary restrictions.

Online RSVP:

If you prefer digital invites, you can include instructions on how to RSVP online through your wedding website. This is a convenient option as guests can select their meal preferences and provide any additional information. It also allows you to manage different menus for different types of attendees, such as children or VIP guests.

Include dietary requirements:

Regardless of the format you choose, always ask guests to specify any dietary requirements or allergies. This can be done on their response card or through an online form. It's essential to ensure that all your guests' needs are accommodated.

Provide a deadline:

Set an RSVP deadline of around four weeks before the wedding date. This will give you and your vendors enough time to finalize the details, including the catering. Make sure to prominently display the deadline on the response card or wedding website.

Remember, the meal preference section of your RSVP is just one part of the response process. You'll also want to include spaces for guests to confirm their attendance, the number of attendees, and any other special requests or fun questions you may have!

How to ask for a song request

When it comes to your wedding, you want to ensure that your guests are having a good time. One way to do this is by playing music that you know they will enjoy. A great way to find out what music your guests like is by asking for song requests on your RSVP cards.

• Include a line for song requests: Simply add a line on your RSVP card that says something like "Song Request:" or "We would love to incorporate everyone's tastes and styles in our wedding through music. Please write a song and its artist on your RSVP card if you would like us to play a specific song." This will indicate to your guests that you are open to song suggestions.
• Be specific: If you are looking for songs that will get your guests on the dance floor, be sure to specify that. You could say something like "We want to fill the dance floor! Request a song that will get us moving:" This will help your guests choose songs that are upbeat and danceable.
• Give guests the option to opt-out: Not everyone will feel comfortable making a song request. Respect your guests' preferences and allow them to opt out of making a request. You could say something like "If you would like to request a song, please do so here:" This way, guests who don't want to participate don't have to feel pressured.
• Provide additional instructions: If you have a specific format or genre in mind for the song requests, be sure to include those instructions on the RSVP card. For example, you could say "Please provide the song title and artist": or "Please give us the name of a song that will get you on the dance floor:"
• Make it fun: Asking for song requests doesn't have to be boring! You can make it fun and playful by using humour or including a cute illustration on your RSVP card. For example, you could say something like "Help us create the perfect dance floor playlist! Request a song that will get us moving:"
• I will dance if you play:
• Song I promise to dance to:
• We Are Taking Requests!
• What song will get you on the dance floor?
• Tell us the song that will get you on the dance floor:

Remember, you don't have to play every song that is requested. Use the song requests as a guide to help you create a playlist that you and your guests will enjoy. Also, be sure to provide a deadline for RSVPs, so you have enough time to create your wedding playlist.

How to ask for a fun fact

Asking for a fun fact on your wedding RSVP is a great way to get to know your guests and add a personal touch to your big day. Here are some tips on how to ask for a fun fact:

• Keep it light and fun: The purpose of asking for a fun fact is to add a playful element to your RSVP. Avoid questions that are too serious or complex. Instead, opt for something that will make your guests smile and encourage them to share something unique and lighthearted.
• Be specific: Provide a clear and direct prompt for the fun fact. For example, you could ask, "Share a fun fact about yourself" or "Tell us something we don't know about you." This will make it easier for your guests to respond and ensure you get the type of fun facts you're looking for.
• Make it optional: While you may be excited to learn fun facts about your guests, remember that not everyone may be comfortable sharing personal information. Make the fun fact section optional, and clearly indicate that it is not mandatory. This will help your guests feel at ease and avoid any potential discomfort.
• Provide space for the response: If you're using physical RSVP cards, ensure there is enough space for guests to write their fun facts. You don't want them to feel restricted or limited in their responses. Consider including a blank area or a few lines dedicated specifically to this question.
• Examples and guidance: If your guests are unsure about what constitutes a fun fact, provide a few examples or guidelines to help them out. For instance, you could say, "Share a fun fact about your hobbies, talents, or an interesting experience you've had." This will give them a better idea of the type of response you're looking for.
• Online RSVPs: If you're using online RSVPs, you can include the fun fact question as part of the digital form. This method offers more flexibility in terms of space, and guests can easily type their responses. You could even make the fun fact question optional but visible, so guests know it's not mandatory yet still have the option to provide a fun fact if they wish.

• "What is your secret talent or hobby?"
• "Share a funny or embarrassing moment from your childhood."
• "If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?"
• "Tell us about an item on your bucket list and why."
• "What is something that makes you smile instantly?"

Remember, the key is to keep it light and enjoyable for your guests while also giving you insight into their personalities and interests.

How to ask for a response card to be returned

Asking for an RSVP is an important part of wedding planning. It can help you finalise your guest list, create a seating plan, and confirm your budget. Here are some tips on how to ask for a response card to be returned:

Make it Clear and Persistent

Ensure your guests are 100% clear on when and where they should RSVP. Provide an envelope and stamp so there isn't a delay, and if you're using a wedding website to collect RSVPs, make sure this is clearly stated on the invitation. You can also ask for a meal selection, which is something more for your guests to consider and less likely to be forgotten.

Send Reminders

Before the RSVP deadline has arrived, send some gentle reminders. You can be excited and firm at the same time. For example, "We're so excited, we could burst! We want to remind all our lovely guests to RSVP by the [date]." You can also add an update about your wedding planning, such as "We've confirmed our favourite local band, and we can't wait to see you on the dance floor! Get ready to groove with us by RSVPing by [date]."

Be Firm but Gracious

If the RSVP deadline has passed, it's time to pick up the phone or send a text message. Be upbeat and gracious, but emphasise the need for a final headcount. You could say something like, "Hey! Just wanted to make sure you received our invitation. I need to give the final headcount to the caterer by Friday, and I really hope you can make it. Thanks!"

Plan for Missed RSVPs

Finally, plan for a few missed RSVPs by telling your caterer to expect a few extra guests. It's better to have a few extra plates than not enough!

Frequently asked questions