Using '&' In Wedding Invites: Addressing Etiquette And Examples

Wedding invitation etiquette can be a tricky business. The traditional Mr. & Mrs. format is falling out of fashion, with many couples now opting for a more modern approach. So, how should you address wedding invitations using and?

The key thing to remember is to list the person you are closest with first, followed by their partner on a separate line. For example, Ms. Alysson Schulz and Mr. Ricardo Gonzales. If you are equally close to both, you can list their names alphabetically. This format works for both opposite-sex and same-sex couples.

If you're inviting a married couple with the same last name, you can use Mr. and Mrs. followed by the husband's full name. However, this format is becoming less common as it erases the wife's identity. A more modern approach would be to list both partners' full names, e.g. Mr. Robert Belcher and Mrs. Linda Belcher.

When addressing a married couple with different last names, you can list either name first, followed by the other person's full name. For instance, Mrs. Gwyneth Brookes and Mr. Cyan Matthews. This format also works for same-sex couples.

Married couples with the same last name

When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with the same last name, there are a few conventions to follow. The outer envelope is more formal, and for heterosexual couples, it is customary to use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". For same-sex couples, either name can go first.

If the couple may be sensitive to the heteronormative tradition of listing the man's name first, you can instead address the outer envelope as "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren".

The inner envelope is more informal, and you can address it to "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or use their first names, e.g. "Thomas and Michelle".

If you are only using an outer envelope, you can follow the same conventions as for the inner envelope, or simply write out the couple's full names, e.g. "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren".

Married couples with different last names

When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with different last names, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles and names for each person. The outer envelope should include their full names, with "Mr." or "Mrs." before their names. For example, "Mrs. Gwyneth Brookes and Mr. Cyan Matthews" or "Mr. Cyan Matthews and Mrs. Gwyneth Brookes".

If the couple has the same last name, the traditional way to address them is to use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's full name, such as "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". However, many modern women may prefer to have their names included as well, in which case the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren".

For married couples with one hyphenated last name, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft".

When addressing the inner envelope, you can simply use their titles and last names, such as "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Mr. Craft and Mr. Crosby-Craft". If you would like to use their first names, you can write "Thomas and Michelle" or "Marcus and Brian".

It is also important to consider the order in which you write their names. For couples with the same last name, either name can go first. For couples with different last names, the woman's name is usually written first. However, if you are equally close to both guests, you can go in alphabetical order.

Additionally, if the combined names are too long to fit on one line, you can list them separately on the outer envelope. For example, "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez".

Remember to double-check each guest's preferred titles and names before addressing the invitations.

Unmarried couples living together

When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples living together, there are a few etiquette rules to follow. Firstly, the names of the couple should be written on separate lines, without the use of "and" between them. This is the secret cue that the couple is not married. For example:

Mr. John Francis Smith, II

Ms. (or Miss) Anna Brown

It is also important to list the person you are closest to first. If you are equally close to both guests, you can arrange their names alphabetically.

If the unmarried couple does not live together, traditional etiquette dictates that each person should receive their own invitation. However, a more modern approach is to only send an invitation to the person you are closest to and include "and guest" on the inner envelope for their significant other. This approach can also be useful if you are not particularly fond of one half of the couple, as it gives the other person the option to bring someone else if they break up before the wedding.

Single guests

When addressing wedding invitations to single guests, the proper prefix should be used. For male guests, use "Mr." followed by their full name. For female guests, use "Ms." followed by their full name. For non-binary guests, use the abbreviation "Mx." followed by their full name. If the guest is under 18, no title is necessary for males, and "Miss" is used for females.

If a single guest has been offered a plus one, you don't need to indicate this on the outer envelope. Simply reserve "and guest" for the inner envelope. For example:

Outer envelope: "Mr. James Montgomery"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Montgomery and guest" or "James and guest"

If you are inviting a widowed woman, it's best to ask her preference, but it is common to address the envelope with her married name. For example:

Outer envelope: "Mrs. Sadie Schwartz"

On the other hand, a divorced woman may use either "Mrs." or "Ms." depending on whether she goes by her maiden name or married name. For example:

Outer envelope: "Mrs. Kristina Vasquez" (married name) or "Ms. Kristina Torres" (maiden name)

If the guest is a judge, use the term "The Honorable" before their full name. For example:

Outer envelope: "The Honorable Sonia Sotomayor"

If the guest is a priest, use the term "Father" before their full name. For example:

Outer envelope: "Father Damien Karras"

For the inner envelope, you can either drop the first name or use just the first name if you are very close to the individual. For example:

Inner envelope: "Ms. Lemon" or "Elizabeth"

Families with children

When addressing wedding invitations to families with children, there are a few things to keep in mind. Here are some guidelines to help you with the wording and etiquette:

Outer Envelope:

The outer envelope is generally more formal and should include the full names of the parents or guardians, along with their titles. For a married couple, you can use "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's full name, or you can include both of their full names, e.g., "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham". If the couple has different last names, simply write out their full names with "Mr." or "Mrs." For unmarried couples living together, include both of their full names on one or two lines, with the person you are closest to listed first.

Inner Envelope:

The inner envelope is more informal, and this is where you can list the names of the children. For girls under 18, you can use "Miss" before their names, while boys under 16 do not need a title. For example, the inner envelope might read: "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, and Mx. Kelly". If any children are over 18, they should receive their own separate invitation.

Additional Tips:

• If you are using double envelopes, remember to be more casual with the inner envelope.
• Include as much information as possible on the outer envelope, such as middle names and full honorifics.
• If children are not invited, do not include their names on the inner envelope. This should indicate to your guests that only the listed family members are invited.
• Give yourself enough time to assemble and mail the invitations, as this process can be time-consuming.
• Weigh your invitations before mailing to ensure you have the correct postage.

Remember, these are just guidelines, and you can choose the etiquette rules that work best for you and your special day!

Frequently asked questions