Simplifying Wedding Invites: How Complex Is Too Complex?

Wedding invitations are a chance to give your guests a preview of your special day. But beyond being beautiful, they also need to be informative. While the rules of wedding invitation etiquette are not that complicated, there are some key considerations to keep in mind to ensure your guests have all the information they need. From the obvious, like the date, time and location, to the less obvious, like including an RSVP card and pre-addressed envelope, there's a lot to think about. And if you're having a destination wedding or a complex venue, you might also need to include maps, directions or even a full itinerary for the weekend. So how do you make sure your wedding invites have everything they need without becoming overwhelming?

What information to include

Wedding invitations should include the following:

The request to come to the wedding

This is known as the "invitational line" and lists the names of the hosts (whether it's the couple's parents, other relatives, or the couple themselves). If the couple's parents are divorced and you want to include both as hosts, you can include them all, keeping each parent on a separate line. If you're including the name of a stepparent, keep it on the same line as their partner.

The names of the couple

Traditionally, the bride's name comes first, followed by the groom's full name and title. However, LGBTQIA+ couples can order their names alphabetically, by age, or however else they prefer. Same-sex couples can choose to go in alphabetical order or simply decide what sounds better.

The date and time of the ceremony

It's important to state the start time to let guests know how early to arrive. Give the hour and time of day (a.m. vs. p.m.) to avoid confusion. For formal invitations, write out the time rather than using numerals (e.g., "four o'clock in the afternoon").

The ceremony and reception location

Include the name and location of the ceremony and reception venues, especially if they are in different spots. If they are in the same place, you can simply include a line like "Reception to Follow" or "Dinner and Dancing to Follow." If the reception is at a different location, include a separate reception card with the start time and address.

RSVP details

It's important to include a way for your guests to RSVP, such as a physical card with a pre-addressed and stamped envelope, or a link to your wedding website.

Extra information about the venue

If you're getting married in a unique or unfamiliar location, it's helpful to include an insert with extra information, such as parking instructions or a custom map of the area.

The wedding website address

Your wedding website is a helpful resource for guests, providing details on accommodations, the registry, and more.

RSVP and response cards

RSVP cards are a must for wedding invitations, even if you're asking your guests to respond online. A physical card will be helpful for guests who prefer not to respond online. You can also implement fun RSVP wording ideas to show a little more personality if your invite has minimal text.

RSVP cards should include the following:

• A blank line for guests to fill out their names and the names of any additional guests, such as a spouse, date, or children.
• The RSVP reply due date, usually set for three to four weeks before the wedding date.
• A "will attend" line with a short and simple phrase, such as "Yes, I will attend your wedding."
• An "unable to attend" line for guests to decline the invitation.
• Optional: Choice of entrées for guests to select from if you are offering a plated dinner.

It is important to note that information about your gift registry should not be included on the RSVP card or the main wedding invitation.

When creating your RSVP cards, consider the following:

• Pre-address and stamp the envelopes for your RSVP cards. This is a courteous gesture and will increase the likelihood of guests responding on time.
• Choose a return address that matches the theme of your wedding day.
• Use the same stamp on your RSVP cards as you do on your main invitation.

If you prefer to have guests RSVP via your wedding website, include the website address on a separate card, just as you would with an RSVP card. Indicate that guests can confirm their attendance directly on the site.

For a unique touch, consider including a QR code on your RSVP cards that directs guests to your wedding website or a dedicated RSVP page.

• "___ Accepts with Pleasure ___ Declines with Regrets"
• "The Favor of Your Response Is Requested by ___ Joyfully Accepts ___ Regretfully Declines"
• "___ Will Attend ___ Unable to Attend"

You can also add a touch of humour to your RSVP cards with whimsical phrases such as:

• "Two words... free booze."
• "I'll be there with bells on."
• "Yes, I am ready to attack the dance floor."
• "Will cheers from afar."
• "No, and I'll forever regret this decision."
• "Will be there in spirit."

Design and printing options

Wedding invitations can be as simple or as elaborate as you like, but there are a few key design and printing options to consider.

Design Options

You can design your wedding invitations yourself, using a website like Minted, Zola, Artifact Uprising, or Zazzle, which offer countless customisation options and user-friendly interfaces. Alternatively, you can engage a wedding invitation designer – a graphic designer who will create a custom or semi-custom invitation set for your wedding. A semi-custom design allows you to customise an existing template with your choice of colour, personalisation, and printing style, while a custom design includes an original design and print style.

Printing Options

There are several printing methods available for wedding invitations, each with its own cost implications. Digital printing is the most affordable option, while more extravagant methods like letterpress and engraving can cost thousands. Other printing styles to consider include:

• Calligraphy: A person uses special tools and ink to create ornamental writing in a range of fonts and styles.
• Bespoke: Similar to custom, with a focus on heirloom qualities.

What to Include

The following items are considered mandatory for a wedding invitation suite:

• Invitation
• Response card and envelope
• Mailing envelope and postage
• Direction card

The following items are optional:

• Inner envelope: This smaller envelope holds the invitation and indicates who is invited to the wedding.
• Reception card: If the wedding reception is at a different location to the ceremony, include a separate card with the reception information.
• Weekend events card: If your wedding will span a weekend and include multiple events, include a full itinerary for guests.
• Accommodations card: Include a separate card with hotel recommendations and room block and transportation information.

Envelopes and postage

When it comes to wedding invites, the envelopes and postage are key to ensuring your invitations reach your guests without a hitch. Here are some detailed instructions and tips to help you navigate the process:

Envelope Selection:

The standard size for wedding invitation envelopes is 5" x 7", also known as A7 envelopes. This size is widely available and offers the best value for postage. Square envelopes or custom sizes will require additional postage, as they cannot be processed through sorting machines and must be hand-cancelled. If you opt for a square or custom envelope, be sure to factor in the extra cost.

Return Address Format:

The return address should be placed on the same side as the guest address to avoid confusion. To ensure your return address doesn't get mistaken for the guest address, keep it concise with no more than two lines. Place the zip code on the same line as the city and state, or even combine everything onto one line. Positioning the return address higher on the envelope, away from the guest address zone, can also help distinguish it.

Address Colour and Legibility:

Avoid using red or colours in the red family for the addresses, as postal machines may struggle to read them. Instead, opt for darker inks like charcoal, navy, or black on light-coloured envelopes. Ensure the zip code is spread out on its own line, as postal machines read from the bottom up. If you're using calligraphy or a script font, consider pairing it with a block print for improved legibility.

Weighing and Postage:

The amount of postage required depends on the weight, size, and thickness of your invitations. Most wedding invitations fall between one and two ounces. A "Forever Stamp" covers up to one ounce, and each additional ounce costs 15 cents. Take a fully assembled invitation to your local post office to have it weighed, so you can determine the exact postage needed.

Non-machinable Elements:

Some decorative elements may be considered "non-machinable" and will require hand-processing and an additional surcharge. These include wax seals, envelopes thicker than ¾ of an inch, and square or custom-sized envelopes. If your envelope has a wax seal or thick ribbon, it may not fit through the machines, necessitating hand-cancelling and an extra fee.

Inner and Outer Envelopes:

Traditionally, wedding invitations included an inner and outer envelope. The outer envelope is for mailing and includes the guest's address, while the inner envelope bears the names of the invitees and holds the invitation inside. Using both envelopes helps keep the inner envelope pristine and clarifies who is invited. However, using a single outer envelope is becoming increasingly popular to reduce expenses and paper waste.

Timing:

It's recommended to mail your wedding invitations 8-12 weeks before your wedding. For destination weddings, sending them on the earlier side is advisable. Avoid mailing them too early, as guests may not have made travel plans yet, and they could forget to RSVP. Sending Save the Dates 6-9 months in advance is a good idea, especially for destination weddings.

Extra Invitations:

It's a good idea to order a few extra invitations to account for potential issues. On average, about 3% of mail goes missing, and you want to ensure you have enough invitations to cover any that get lost in the mail. Having extras also allows you to keep some for photographers, keepsakes, or B-list invitees.

RSVP Postage:

Don't forget to include postage on your RSVP cards to make it easy for your guests to respond. Not including postage may cause delays in responses as guests have to source their own stamps.

Hand-Processing and Hand-Cancelling:

To ensure your invitations are handled with care, you can opt for hand-processing and hand-cancelling. Hand-processing means your postmaster will sort your invitations by hand, reducing the risk of damage. Hand-cancelling involves manually stamping over the mail stamp to prevent its reuse. While these options cost a little extra, they provide peace of mind that your invitations will be delivered safely.

Optional extras

There are several optional extras that you can include in your wedding invitations. Here are some ideas to consider:

• Reception card: If your wedding reception is at a different location from the ceremony, include a separate card with the reception details, including the address and time. This is also where you can indicate the formality and nature of the event, such as a "Breakfast Reception" or "Dinner Reception".
• Accommodations card: If you have guests coming from out of town, include a card with hotel options and recommendations. You can also include information on transportation to and from the hotels to the wedding venue.
• Directions or map: While most guests will use a smartphone for directions, including a direction card or custom map can be helpful, especially for guests without smartphones or if your wedding is in a rural area with poor cell service.
• Weekend events card: If your wedding spans multiple days and includes events such as welcome drinks, an after-party, or a day-after brunch, include a full itinerary for your guests. This is also where you can mention any adults-only activities.
• Inner envelope: An inner envelope goes inside the outer mailing envelope and holds the invitation. It indicates who is specifically invited to the wedding. For example, if a family is invited but children are not, the outer envelope can be addressed to "The Smiths", while the inner envelope would be addressed to "John and Victoria Smith".
• Belly band or invitation wrapper: Use a belly band, silk ribbon, or other creative wrapper to hold all the pieces of your invitation suite together. You can coordinate the colour with your invitation suite and add a jewel or botanicals for extra glamour.

Frequently asked questions