Rsvp Etiquette: Responding To Wedding Invitations Gracefully

Being invited to a wedding is an honour, and it's important to respond promptly to let the happy couple know whether you'll be able to celebrate with them. It's courteous to check your schedule and confirm with any other guests included in your invitation as soon as possible. The way you respond will depend on your relationship with the couple, as well as the character of the wedding and the invitation. Formal invitations usually include an RSVP card and a pre-stamped envelope, whereas informal invitations may be sent via WhatsApp or email. When responding, it's important to include your full name, specify whether you're bringing a plus-one and choose your meal, especially if you have any dietary restrictions.

Respond promptly

Responding promptly to a wedding invitation is a courteous gesture that helps the couple plan their big day with greater ease. Here are some tips to ensure you reply in a timely manner:

Check Your Schedule

It is important to check your calendar and confirm your availability for the wedding date. This includes ensuring you haven't double-booked with another event and that you are free on the specified date. By doing this promptly, you can avoid the risk of forgetting and ensure you respond within an appropriate timeframe.

Consult with Others

If you have been invited with a plus-one or as part of a family unit, it is essential to consult with those included in the invitation. Discuss their availability and intentions to attend. This step is crucial in finalising your response, especially if you plan to bring a guest.

Respond as Soon as Possible

Once you have confirmed your availability and the availability of those included in your invitation, it is best to respond as soon as possible. This is a considerate gesture that allows the couple to plan effectively. If you are unable to attend, a prompt response gives them the opportunity to invite someone else in your place.

Choose an Appropriate Response Method

The method of response depends on the nature of the invitation. Formal wedding invitations often include an RSVP card and a pre-stamped envelope. In this case, fill out the card and return it promptly. If the invitation includes an RSVP request but no response card, you can reply by writing a letter or sending an email. For informal invitations, a personalised response via your usual method of communication may be more suitable.

Provide Necessary Information

When responding, ensure you provide all the necessary information. This includes the number of guests attending and their full names. If dietary options are offered, make your selection and disclose any serious allergies. This information assists the couple in finalising catering details and creating a seating chart.

Include a Personal Touch

While it is essential to provide the requested information, adding a personal touch can make your response more meaningful. Include a congratulatory note or a brief message expressing your excitement and well wishes for the couple. This is especially appreciated in formal responses but can also be included in informal replies.

Check your schedule

As a guest, your first duty is to respond promptly to a wedding invitation. As soon as you receive the wedding invitation, check your schedule and consult with anyone else included in your invitation. If you are unable to attend, respond as soon as possible so that the couple will have time to invite someone else in your place.

If the invitation is addressed to you and a plus one, you must decide whether you want to bring someone and inform the host. If you only respond for yourself, do not bring a date or another companion to the wedding.

If the invitation includes an RSVP but no response card, you can reply in writing or by email. A formal invitation reply should be written in the third person, following the wording of the invitation. For example:

> Mr. and Mrs. Harold McGowan accept with pleasure (or regret that they are unable to accept) your kind invitation for Saturday, the nineteenth of June.

A personal note, usually written to hosts you know well, should be brief but sincere. For example:

> Dear Ann and John, Rob and I are delighted to accept your invitation to attend Margaret and Tom’s wedding on June nineteenth. Yours sincerely, Brittany

Include key information

When replying to a wedding invitation, it is important to include key information. This includes the number of guests attending, their names, and any dietary restrictions. Here are some examples of how to do this:

Formal Response with a Pre-Printed Response Card

If the invitation is addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Maggie and Drew", the response should include the same names: "Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Maggie and Drew accept with pleasure (or regret that they are unable to accept) your kind invitation for Saturday, the nineteenth of June." If there is an option to choose a meal, initial the selection so the host knows who is receiving what. It is also a nice touch to add a congratulatory note, such as "Congratulations! We can't wait to celebrate with you!"

Formal Response Without a Pre-Printed Response Card

In this case, a blank card is included for guests to write a personal message. An ideal reply would be: "Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Maggie, and Drew will attend. We wish you both the best and look forward to joining you on your special day. Kind regards, The Smiths." Again, be sure to include the number of guests and their names, and feel free to add a personal touch.

Formal Response When Only One Party Can Attend

If you received a formal invitation and only one person is able to attend, your response should make this clear. For example: "Mr. Jack Barrows gladly accepts the kind invitation for Sunday, October 17th, at 2:00 pm. Ms. Mary Mulligan regrets that she will not be able to attend." This format ensures that the hosts know how many people are attending and can plan accordingly.

Informal Response

An informal response can be more creative and personalised. For example: "Hi Sally and George! Harry and I are so excited to celebrate with you on your wedding day. See you on June 3rd! Love, Claire." While it is not necessary to include all the details as you would in a formal response, it is still important to mention the number of guests attending and their names, so the couple can plan accordingly.

Responding via WhatsApp or Email

If you are responding to a more informal invitation via WhatsApp or email, the format can be more relaxed, but it is still important to include key information. For example: "Hey there! So excited for your special day! Of course, we'll be there. Can't wait to celebrate with you and bring in the new year! See you on the 31st. Love, Samantha and Alyssa."

Add a personal touch

When replying to a wedding invitation, it is important to respond promptly. Check your schedule, and if you have been invited with a plus one, decide whether you would like to bring someone and inform your host. If you are unable to attend, let the couple know as soon as possible so they can invite someone else in your place.

When responding to wedding invitations, it is always a good idea to add a personal touch. A personal note should be brief but sincere. You can address the couple directly, expressing gratitude for the invitation and confirming your attendance. For instance, you could say:

> "Dear [Couple], [Partner] and I are happy to accept your invitation to your wedding on [date]. We are so excited to celebrate your big day with you and look forward to seeing all of our friends."

If you are unable to attend, you could write:

> "Dear [Couple], I am so sorry that I can't join you for your wedding. I have to be out of town that weekend, but you will both be in my thoughts on your special day. Congratulations and best wishes, [Your Name]"

If you are close with the couple, you could also share a funny or heartfelt memory, or a personal message of congratulations. For example:

> "Dear [Couple], I am thrilled to be celebrating this special day with you both. I have so many fond memories of our time together, and I am excited to make new ones at your wedding. I can't wait to see you both happy and in love on your big day! With love, [Your Name]"

It is always a nice touch to include a personal anecdote or message that will make the couple feel special and loved.

Send regrets politely

It is perfectly okay to decline a wedding invitation, and doing so politely is a skill. It is important to respond promptly to the invitation, as the couple will have more time to invite someone else if you cannot make it. Here are some tips on how to politely decline a wedding invitation:

If You Aren't Close to the Couple:

Simply checking "no" on the RSVP card and wishing them well is enough. You don't need a long explanation for why you are not attending. You could also send a short, personal note reflecting your relationship with the couple. For example, "Regretfully, we are unable to attend. Best wishes on your special day!" or "Sadly, we are unable to attend your wedding day, but we look forward to celebrating the next time we see you!".

If You Are Close to the Couple:

You may want to make a phone call before sending your written decline, expressing your disappointment and letting them know you care. You could also send a small gift with your RSVP card, such as flowers, as a way to extend your support and love. After the wedding, you could take the couple out to celebrate their union and see photos from their big day.

Common Reasons for Declining:

There are many common reasons for declining a wedding invitation, and it is okay to decline for any reason. Financial reasons are one of the biggest reasons people can't attend, especially for destination weddings. Scheduling conflicts are another common issue, especially during the peak wedding season from summer to fall. Weddings can also be emotionally tricky for some people, and it is perfectly valid to decline if you are facing mental or physical health concerns.

Remember, it is important to respond promptly and politely, and it is always nice to send a small gift or card to show your support and gratitude for being invited.

Frequently asked questions