Addressing Wedding Invites: Married Couples Edition

Addressing wedding invitations to married couples can be tricky, especially when it comes to navigating different last names, titles, and name orders. The traditional format for a heterosexual married couple with the same last name is Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's First Name] [Shared Last Name], but this can be modified to include the wife's first name, such as Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's First Name] [Shared Last Name], or Mrs. [Wife's First Name] and Mr. [Husband's First Name] [Shared Last Name]. For couples with different last names, the format becomes more flexible, with options such as listing names separately or together, in alphabetical order or based on closeness to the invitee. Same-sex couples can follow similar formats, with names listed alphabetically or in the order of preference. Ultimately, the choice of format depends on the couple's preferences, the level of formality of the wedding, and the desire to adhere to traditional or modern conventions.

Married Couple, Same Last Name

When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with the same last name, there are a few options to consider. The traditional way is to use the man's full name, referring to them as "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". If you want to include the wife's name, you can add it after the husband's name, like "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren" on the outer envelope and "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle" on the inner envelope.

However, many modern women may not appreciate having their names left out or being addressed only by their husband's name. In such cases, you can address the outer envelope as "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren", and the inner envelope as "Mr. Warren and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle".

Another option is to use both first names, with the male's name coming first, such as "Mr. Mario and Mrs. Jill Bryant". If you prefer a more casual approach, you can simply refer to them as "Mr. and Mrs. Bryant" or by their first names, like "Jill and Mario".

When addressing a married couple with the same last name, it is also essential to consider their preferred titles and names. For example, a non-binary guest may prefer the gender-neutral title "Mx." instead of "Mr." or "Ms." Always remember to double-check with your guests about their preferred titles and names before finalising your wedding invitations.

Married Couple, Different Last Names

When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with different last names, there are a few options to consider. Here are some guidelines to help you format the invitations appropriately:

Outer Envelope:

• If the couple has children, you can address the invitation to the entire family. For example, "The Smith-Doe Family". This option is respectful of the wife's choice to keep her maiden name and includes all members of the family.
• If you prefer to list each person's name, the format can be: "Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Doe". This format ensures both spouses' names are included, with the woman's name listed first.
• Alternatively, you can list the names alphabetically, regardless of gender. For example: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez".

Inner Envelope:

• For the inner envelope, you can use a less formal format. You can list the couple's names and last names, such as "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or just their first names, like "Maria and David".
• If the couple has children, you can include their names on the inner envelope to specify that they are also invited. For example: "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, Ms. Jane Doe, and Joe Smith".

Remember, it is essential to respect the wife's choice to keep her maiden name and avoid assumptions about surnames. Always double-check the preferred titles and names of the invitees to ensure your invitations are addressed correctly and respectfully.

Married Couple, One Hyphenated Last Name

When addressing wedding invitations to a married couple with one hyphenated last name, there are a few different ways to do so. Here are some options for both the outer envelope (the one that will be seen by the post office) and the inner envelope:

Outer envelope: "Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Craft and Mr. Crosby-Craft" or "Marcus and Brian"

In this example, the couple has chosen to hyphenate their last name, and the invitation is addressed using both of their full names. The outer envelope is more formal, including their titles ("Mr.") and full names, while the inner envelope is more casual, with just their first names.

Alternatively, if the couple has different last names, the invitation can be addressed as follows:

Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

Inner envelope: "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"

In this case, the woman has kept her maiden name, and the invitation is addressed with both of their full names. Again, the outer envelope is more formal, while the inner envelope is more casual.

If you are unsure of the couple's preference or want to be more flexible, you can also use the following format:

Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" or "Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Smith"

Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" or "John and Jane"

This format is more traditional and may be preferred by more conservative or older guests. However, some modern women may have an aversion to having their name left out or being lumped in with their husbands, so it is essential to consider the couple's preferences.

When addressing a married couple, it is also essential to be mindful of their titles. The standard etiquette for a heterosexual couple is to use "Mr." for the husband and "Mrs." for the wife. However, for a same-sex couple, either name can go first. If the woman has hyphenated her last name, "Mrs." is not technically correct, so it is better to use "Ms." if you are unsure of her preference.

Married Couple, One Person is a Doctor

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple where one person is a doctor, the spouse with the professional title should be listed first.

If the doctor is the husband, the outer envelope can be addressed as:

• "Doctor and Mrs. Robert Smith"
• "Dr. and Mrs. Bill Giovani"
• "Dr. Robert Smith and Mrs. Christina Smith"
• "Dr. and Mrs. Robert Smith"

If the doctor is the wife and she uses her husband's name socially, the outer envelope can be addressed as:

• "Dr. and Mr. James Hersch"
• "Dr. and Mr. James Werner"
• "Dr. Tami Takata and Mr. Smith"
• "Dr. Jill Hersch and Mr. James Hersch"

If the doctor is the wife and she uses her maiden name both professionally and socially, the outer envelope can be addressed as:

• "Dr. Elizabeth Brown and Mr. Robert Smith"
• "Dr. Barbara Hanson and Mr. James Werner"

If the couple has the same last name, the inner envelope can be addressed as:

• "Dr. and Mrs. Smith"
• "The Dr. and Mrs. Hersch"
• "Dr. Takata and Mr. Smith"
• "Dr. and Mr. Hersch"

If the couple has different last names, the inner envelope can be addressed as:

• "Dr. and Mr. Giovani"
• "Dr. and Mr. Lucento"
• "Dr. Smith and Mr. Christina Smith"
• "Dr. Hersch and Mr. James Hersch"

Married Couple, Both are Doctors

When addressing wedding invitations to married couples, the outer and inner envelopes are formatted differently. Here is how you would address invitations to married couples where both individuals are doctors:

Outer Envelope:

If the couple shares the same last name, you can address the envelope in one of the following ways:

• "The Doctors [Last Name]" (e.g., "The Doctors Smith")
• "Drs. [Husband's First Name] and [Wife's First Name] [Last Name]" (e.g., "Drs. Matthew and Angela Smith")

If the couple has different last names, list both names in alphabetical order on separate lines:

"Dr. [Last Name]" followed by "Dr. [Last Name]" (e.g., "Dr. Rosenthal" followed by "Dr. Schwartz")

Inner Envelope:

For couples with the same last name, you can use either of these formats:

• "The Doctors [Last Name]" (e.g., "The Doctors Smith")
• " [Husband's First Name] and [Wife's First Name]" (e.g., "Matthew and Angela")

For couples with different last names, you can use the same format as the outer envelope or use the first names only:

"Dr. [First Name] and Dr. [First Name]" (e.g., "Dr. Matthew and Dr. Angela") or " [First Name] and [First Name]" (e.g., "Matthew and Angela")

Additional Tips:

• If the combined names are too long to fit on one line, list them separately.
• Spell out "doctor" on the outer envelope and abbreviate it ("Dr.") on the inner envelope.
• If one spouse has a hyphenated last name, indent the second line if both titles don't fit on one line.

Frequently asked questions