Etiquette Guide: Asking For Money As A Wedding Gift

Asking for money as a wedding gift can be a tricky topic to navigate. While it may be considered rude to ask for money on a wedding invitation, there are other ways to politely request monetary gifts. Here are some suggestions on how to ask for money as a wedding gift without causing offence.

Include a poem in your wedding invitations

While it is considered rude to ask for monetary gifts on your wedding invitations, you can include a poem in your wedding invitation suite that politely hints at your preference for cash gifts. Here are four to six paragraphs with different poems you can include in your wedding invitations:

Option 1:

We’ve lived together for a year or two,

We really don’t need anything new.

But if you were thinking of getting us a small wedding gift,

Some money for our future wouldn’t go amiss.

Option 2:

If a gift is on your mind,

A contribution would be kind.

It will help us more than words can say,

To celebrate our special day!

If a gift is your intention,

We thought that we would mention,

We'd love some pennies to rub together,

To save for something we will treasure!

Option 3:

As we’re getting married, we thought it would be great,

To move into a brand new home — we really cannot wait!

As wedding gifts are bulky and we’re a little short on space,

Some money would be the ideal gift to help us buy our place!

Option 4:

We know it’s not traditional,

It’s not the way it’s done,

But instead of a wedding gift,

We’d like a bit of sun!

Option 5:

If you were thinking of giving a gift to help us on our way,

A gift of money in a card would really make our day!

Option 6:

We’ve been together for a few years now;

We have pots and pans and linen and towels;

We have glasses and toasters, really quite a few;

So instead of more gifts, we suggest this to you;

If it doesn’t offend and it makes you feel funny;

But what we would really appreciate is quite simply money;

We know choosing gifts can be such a pain;

And this way, there is no chance of anyone bringing the same!

Create a wedding website

Wedding websites are a great way to give your guests all the information they need in one place. You can include details such as the ceremony start time, directions to the reception, dress code, and travel recommendations. You can also use your wedding website to explain your preference for cash gifts. Here are some tips for creating a wedding website:

Choose a Platform

There are several websites that offer free wedding website builders, such as The Knot, Joy, and Minted. These platforms provide customizable templates, matching stationery, and other planning tools to help you create a cohesive look and feel for your wedding.

Share Your Love Story

Introduce yourselves as a couple and share your engagement story. You can also add photos and other multimedia elements to make your website more engaging and personal.

Provide Important Details

Make sure to include all the essential information your guests need to know, such as the wedding date, time, and location. You can also include a schedule of events, from the rehearsal dinner to the post-wedding brunch, and specify which events are open to all guests and which are private.

Create an FAQ Section

Anticipate your guests' questions and create a comprehensive FAQ section to address them. This can include topics such as attire suggestions, transportation, and accommodation recommendations.

Include a Registry Page

While it's not advisable to include registry information on your wedding invitations, it's perfectly acceptable to include it on your wedding website. If you're requesting cash gifts, you can use this section to explain why you've registered for cash and how you plan to use the funds. For example, you could say, "Your presence at our wedding is gift enough, but should you wish to give a gift, we would graciously accept a contribution towards our honeymoon."

Provide Contact Information

Make sure your guests know how to reach you or a designated point of contact if they have any questions or need further information.

Keep it Private

Use privacy settings to control who can access your wedding website and limit the visibility of certain pages or events to specific guests.

Update Regularly

As new information becomes available or changes are made to your plans, be sure to update your website accordingly. This will ensure your guests always have the most up-to-date information.

By following these tips, you can create a comprehensive and informative wedding website that not only provides your guests with the information they need but also helps you communicate your preference for cash gifts in a polite and gracious manner.

Ask family and friends to spread the word

Asking family and friends to spread the word about your preference for monetary gifts is a great way to get your message across without having to explicitly state it on your wedding invites. Here are some tips to help you navigate this approach:

Inform your close circle

Share your preference for cash gifts with your parents, siblings, wedding party members, and close friends. Explain to them that you would prefer cash and why. They can then tactfully spread the word to other guests when asked for gift suggestions. This approach is especially effective if you know certain family members or friends are adept at subtly dropping hints in conversation.

Be specific about your plans for the money

Letting your guests know how you plan to use the money helps to make your request more personal and meaningful to them. For example, you could mention that you're saving for a down payment on a new home, planning a dream honeymoon, or funding home improvements. This approach adds a more intimate touch to your request and helps guests feel more connected to your plans and goals.

Provide a link to your wedding website

Creating a wedding website is an excellent way to communicate your preferences to your guests. Include a section on the website dedicated to gifts, where you can mention your preference for monetary contributions. You could say something like, "We'd be over the moon if you'd consider giving money instead of gifts. We are currently saving for our first home together, so any contributions towards this goal would be greatly appreciated."

Set up a cash or honeymoon registry

Registering with a cash registry website or honeymoon fund registry is a clear signal to your guests that you would appreciate monetary gifts. Most wedding guests are familiar with the concept of gift registries, so this approach helps them feel more comfortable with the process. It also eliminates the potential awkwardness of having to explain how you would like to receive the money.

Be mindful of potential drawbacks

While asking family and friends to spread the word can be effective, it's important to remember that it doesn't give you as much control over the message. There is a risk that the information may not be communicated delicately, potentially offending some guests. Additionally, not all guests may approach your close circle for gift suggestions, so they might not receive the information. Therefore, it's a good idea to combine this approach with other methods, such as providing a link to your wedding website or setting up a cash registry.

Set up a honeymoon/house deposit/home improvement fund

Setting up a honeymoon, house deposit, or home improvement fund is a great way to ask for money as a wedding gift without causing offence. Here are some tips to help you set up such a fund:

Use a Gift Registry Service

Some gift registry services allow you to set up a gifting fund where guests can contribute money towards a particular purchase, such as a honeymoon, a house deposit, or home improvements. While you may have to register for a few physical gifts as well, this is a good option if you think you'll be receiving a lot of unwanted physical gifts.

Be Transparent About Your Plans

Explain to your guests why you are asking for money and how you plan to use it. For example, if you are saving for a house deposit, let your guests know that their contributions will help you buy your dream home. This will help your guests feel more connected to your plans and more inclined to give.

Provide a Traditional Registry, Too

While you may prefer cash gifts, it's important to provide a traditional registry as well. Some guests may prefer to give a physical gift, and others may not feel comfortable sharing their financial information online. Registering for a few physical items will make the gifting process easier for these guests.

Share Your Travel Plans

If you are setting up a honeymoon fund, share your travel plans and itinerary with your guests. Outline your exciting plans and experiences so that guests understand exactly what they are contributing towards. This will make their gifting experience more personal and fun.

Break It Down Into Specific Items

If you are setting up a honeymoon fund, break down your expenses into specific items and experiences. For example, you could list out tours, meals, or room service so that guests can choose exactly what they want to contribute towards.

Don't Mention It on Your Wedding Invitations

While it is okay to ask for monetary gifts, it is not okay to do so on your formal wedding invitations. Instead, include a link to your wedding website on your invitation, and share the details of your fund there. You can also include an insert card with your invitation that directs guests to your website.

Use a gift registry website

Using a gift registry website is a great way to ask for money as a wedding gift without having to put it on your wedding invites. Here are some tips on how to use this method:

Choose a Gift Registry Service

There are several gift registry websites available, such as The Knot, Honeyfund, and Zola. These sites allow you to set up a cash fund where guests can contribute money towards a specific goal, such as a honeymoon or a house deposit. Some sites, like Honeyfund, will even deposit the money directly into your bank account. When choosing a gift registry service, be sure to read the reviews and compare the fees associated with cash gifts.

Create a Wedding Website

Most gift registry services will provide you with a free wedding website where you can share your registry details with your guests. This is a great place to explain why you've registered for cash and how you plan to use the funds. Be sure to include a link to your wedding website on your invites so guests can easily access it.

Word Your Website Thoughtfully

When explaining your cash gift request, be sure to focus on your goals and how the money will help you achieve them. For example, you could say something like, "Your presence at our wedding is gift enough, but should you wish to give us something, we would greatly appreciate a contribution towards our honeymoon." This approach makes it clear that gifts are not required but provides guests with guidance on how to honour your wishes.

Provide Multiple Options

In addition to your cash fund, consider registering for a few physical gifts as well. This is especially important if you know some of your guests prefer to give traditional wedding presents. By providing a variety of options, you can ensure that all your guests feel comfortable and are able to give in a way that feels meaningful to them.

Spread the Word

Let your close friends and family members know about your preference for cash gifts so they can help spread the word. Chances are, some guests will ask them for gift ideas, and this will give them an opportunity to share your wishes in a more personal way. It's a good idea to explain why you're saving for a particular goal, as this will make it easier for them to advocate on your behalf.

Using a gift registry website is a thoughtful and convenient way to ask for money as a wedding gift. By following these tips, you can ensure that your guests feel appreciated and that your wishes are respected.

Frequently asked questions