Wedding Invitations: How Long To Give Guests To Respond

Being invited to a wedding is an honour, and it's important to respond promptly and respectfully. The couple will be keen to hear back from you as soon as possible so they can plan ahead and give final numbers to the caterer and venue. The style of your response should match the style of the invitation, whether it's formal or informal. If the invitation includes an RSVP card, fill it in and post it back as soon as you can, especially if it's going to a different country. If there's no RSVP card, a phone call, text, or email is usually acceptable, but always check the invitation for guidance.

Respond promptly

Responding promptly to a wedding invitation is crucial, as it helps the couple plan their wedding and shows respect for their efforts. It is considered impolite to make them wait or guess your intentions. A prompt response also ensures that the couple can invite someone else if you are unable to attend.

When responding, it is essential to match the style of the invitation, whether formal or informal. A formal invitation typically requires a formal response, mirroring the structure of the invitation and addressing the hosts. An informal invitation allows for a more casual response, such as a phone call or email.

If you are unable to attend, it is important to decline the invitation gracefully. Express your regret and thank the couple for their invitation. It is also considerate to inform the couple if you need to change your response, as they may need to adjust their plans.

When responding to a wedding invitation, it is essential to include essential information such as your name, attendance, and the number of guests. This helps the couple with seating arrangements and catering plans. Responding promptly and providing clear information are key aspects of wedding invitation etiquette, ensuring that you contribute to a positive and memorable experience for the couple.

Check the invitation details

The first thing to do when you receive a wedding invitation is to check the details. This includes the date, time, and venue of the wedding, as well as any other information provided, such as dress code or directions. It is also important to check the RSVP details and respond promptly. The couple will need to finalise numbers for the caterer and seating plan, so don't leave it until the last minute to respond.

The invitation may include an RSVP card with questions for you to fill in and post back, or there may be a link to a wedding website with further details and an RSVP section. If there is no RSVP card, it is usually acceptable to respond in a more casual way, such as by phone, text, or email.

If the invitation is formal, your response should be too. This means writing in the third person, mirroring the structure of the invitation, and including all the relevant details, such as the names of those attending and the date and venue. It is important to double-check these details to avoid any errors.

For an informal invitation, you can be less structured in your response, but it is still important to be clear and respectful. Include who you are, whether you plan to attend, and who will accompany you, if allowed. You can respond by email or phone, but a phone response is best reserved for an informal invitation or if specifically requested.

If you are unable to attend, it is important to decline the invitation politely and respectfully. Express your regret and thank the couple for their invitation. You can also briefly explain your reason for not being able to attend.

It is also important to check who is invited. If only your name is on the invitation, do not bring anyone else with you. If the invitation says "and guest", you are free to bring a partner, but it is helpful to include their name on the RSVP so the couple can add them to the seating chart. If you are sharing an invitation with your family, the couple would appreciate it if you check with them before bringing your toddler.

Who is invited

When it comes to wedding invitations, it's important to respond promptly, whether you plan to attend or not. This is so the couple can make any necessary adjustments to their guest list and inform their caterers. It's also important to check who is invited—if only your name is on the envelope or invitation, it means there's only one seat reserved for you. If the invitation says "Your name and guest", you are welcome to bring a plus-one, and it's helpful to include their name on the RSVP card.

The first step in deciding who to invite to your wedding is to come up with an estimated number of guests. This will depend on your budget and the size of your venue. It's a good idea to create four lists, labelled A through D, with your closest friends and family at the top and less familiar faces towards the bottom. Here are some tips for deciding who to include on your guest list:

• Close friends and family: These are the people you can't imagine getting married without, such as your best friends and siblings.
• Extended family: Aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends you've stayed in touch with.
• Coworkers and acquaintances: It's not necessary to invite everyone from your workplace, especially if you work with a large team. You can choose to only invite those you're close to outside of work or include everyone to avoid any hurt feelings.
• Plus-ones: It's generally accepted that any guest in a long-term relationship or marriage should be invited with their partner. For single friends, you can decide whether to include "and guest" on their invitation, but this isn't necessary.
• Children: If you don't want children at your wedding, address your invitations to parents only. Alternatively, you can invite only the children in your bridal party or immediate family.
• Ex-partners: While this is generally considered taboo, it may be acceptable if you share children or have maintained a friendship.
• Out-of-towners: It's common to invite out-of-town guests to the rehearsal dinner, but this isn't mandatory. You can choose to include them in the wedding guest list as well or arrange a separate gathering.

Remember, it's your special day, so don't feel pressured to invite anyone out of obligation. Focus on the people who are closest to you and will continue to be relevant in your life in the years to come.

How to decline politely

When it comes to wedding invitations, it's important to respond promptly, whether you're accepting or declining. Here are some tips on how to politely decline a wedding invitation:

Respond as soon as possible:

It is important to respond to the invitation promptly, whether you are accepting or declining. This allows the couple to make alternative arrangements if necessary, such as inviting another guest or adjusting their numbers with the caterer.

Be honest but considerate:

You don't have to go into detail about why you can't attend. A simple, polite response is often enough. You could say something like, "Thank you for the invitation. Unfortunately, I won't be able to make it." Or, "While I'd love to be there, I'm unable to attend. I hope you have a wonderful day and look forward to hearing all about it."

Consider your relationship with the couple:

If you are close to the couple, they may appreciate a phone call or a personal note to explain your decline. This shows that you care and are disappointed that you can't be there. You could also offer to celebrate with them at another time or send a small gift to show your support.

RSVP by the deadline:

Even if you are declining the invitation, it's important to respond by the deadline set by the couple. This helps them with their planning and ensures they don't have to chase you for a response.

Don't ignore the invitation:

It's always best to respond to the invitation, even if you're declining. Ignoring it can be considered rude and may cause confusion for the couple. They need to know your decision to finalise their guest list and plan accordingly.

Sample responses:

• "Regretfully, we are unable to attend, but we wish you all the best on your special day."
• "Thank you for inviting us. Unfortunately, we have prior commitments, but we will be thinking of you and sending our love and best wishes."
• "I'm so sorry I can't be there to celebrate with you. I hope you have a magical day and look forward to catching up afterwards to hear all about it."

RSVP methods

There are several ways to RSVP to a wedding, including printed cards, online websites, or emails. Here are some tips on how to respond to each type:

Printed Cards

When responding with a printed card, be sure to fill out all the fields, including your full name, response (attending or not attending), the total number of guests, and any food selections if requested. Use numbers instead of checkmarks to indicate the number of guests, and don't forget to add your names! If there is space, you can also write a personal note to the couple.

Online Websites

More and more couples are opting to take RSVPs online, often through a wedding website that contains additional information for guests. To RSVP online, simply type the URL provided on the invitation into your browser and follow the steps provided. The same rules of etiquette apply as with printed cards, so be sure to include all the necessary information.

Emails

When the hosts request an RSVP via email, it is important to respond by the provided deadline and to the email address specified on the invitation. Take the time to write a gracious note, whether you are accepting or declining the invitation. Include your name, the number of guests attending or declining, and any other requested information such as entree choices or song requests.

Regardless of the RSVP method, it is important to respond as promptly as possible. This allows the couple to finalize their guest list, catering count, and seating arrangements. If you are unable to attend, it is still polite to send a response and, if possible, include a gift from their registry in your absence.

Frequently asked questions