Wedding Invite Etiquette: Addressing Names With Style

Wedding invitation etiquette is a tricky business. The outer envelope should be formal, with the recipient's full name and title. For a married couple with the same last name, you can use Mr. and Mrs. followed by the husband's full name, or both names. If they have different last names, write out both full names with Mr. or Mrs. and put the person you are closest with first. For unmarried couples, write both names on separate lines, in alphabetical order by surname. For single guests, use Mr. for males over 18, Miss for single women or girls under 18, and Ms. for unmarried women over 30.

Married couples with the same last name

When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with the same last name, there are a few etiquette rules to follow. Here are some guidelines to ensure your invitations are correctly addressed:

Outer Envelope:

For a heterosexual couple, the traditional format is to use "Mr." for the husband and "Mrs." for the wife, followed by the husband's full name. For example:

> Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren

However, for a same-sex couple, either name can go first. If the couple is sensitive to the wife's name being left out, you can address them as:

> Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren

Inner Envelope:

On the inner envelope, you can drop the first names and use their titles and last name, or just their first names:

> Mr. and Mrs. Warren

> Thomas and Michelle

If the wife has kept her maiden name, the outer envelope can be addressed as:

> Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Rachel Warren-Smith

In this case, the inner envelope would be:

> Mr. Warren and Mrs. Warren

> Thomas and Rachel

For a more casual approach, you can also choose to omit titles and use only first and last names on both the outer and inner envelopes.

It's important to remember that the outer envelope should be more formal, while the inner envelope allows for a more informal approach. Always use the complete, formal names of your guests, and avoid abbreviations or shorthand versions of titles, streets, or state names.

Married couples with different last names

When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with different last names, there are a few etiquette rules to follow. Firstly, it is recommended to write their names on the same line. If the combined names are too long, list them separately. For heterosexual couples, the woman's name is typically written first, followed by the man's name. However, if you are equally close to both guests, you can go in alphabetical order.

Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

Inner envelope: "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"

If you prefer a more modern approach, you can choose to forgo titles and use only first and last names. It is also important to double-check each attendee's preferred personal titles, especially if they have non-binary titles such as "Mx."

Married couples with hyphenated last names

When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with hyphenated last names, there are a few etiquette rules to keep in mind. Here are some tips to ensure your invitations are properly and respectfully addressed:

Outer Envelope Etiquette:

The outer envelope is the one that will be seen by the post office, so it should follow more formal etiquette rules. Here are some options for addressing the outer envelope:

• "Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Mary Smith-Jones" or "Mr. John Smith and Ms. Mary Smith-Jones". Using "Mrs." is not technically correct if a woman has hyphenated her last name, so it is safer to use "Ms." unless you know her preference is "Mrs.".
• "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" is also correct if the wife is not particular about her hyphenated name and does not mind being addressed solely by her husband's name.
• If both spouses have hyphenated their last names, you can address them as "Mr. and Mr. Smith-Jones".
• For same-sex couples with hyphenated names, follow the same format as opposite-sex couples, keeping in mind that either name can go first.

Inner Envelope Etiquette:

The inner envelope is more informal, so you have more flexibility with how you address the couple. Here are some options:

• Use their first names only: "John and Mary".
• Use their titles and last names: "Mr. Smith and Ms. Smith-Jones".
• If the wife is not particular about her hyphenated name, you can use "Mr. and Mrs. Smith".
• For same-sex couples, follow the same format as opposite-sex couples.

Additional Considerations:

• If you are only using one envelope, include all invited parties clearly stated on the front.
• Always use the complete, formal name of your guest.
• Avoid using initials or abbreviations for titles, street names, or state names.
• When addressing a friend with an unknown guest, use "and guest" in lowercase.
• When in doubt, it is always best to ask the couple about their preferred form of address to ensure you are respecting their wishes.

Unmarried couples

When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to include both guests' full names – first and last – on the invitation, even if you have never met the other half of the couple. This shows respect for the couple as a social unit and helps to avoid any potential upset or offence.

If the unmarried couple lives together, their names should be written independently on two separate lines, without using the word "and". For example:

Mr. Ross Geller

Ms. Rachel Green

If you are inviting an unmarried couple who do not live together, it is best to send a separate invitation to each person. However, if you choose to send a single invitation, the outer envelope can include both names, and the inner envelope can be addressed to the primary invited guest.

When deciding on the order of names, you can list the person you are closest with first, or go in alphabetical order by surname. For same-sex couples, the names may be listed alphabetically.

Individuals

When addressing individuals on a wedding invitation, it's important to follow certain etiquette guidelines to ensure your guests feel welcomed and respected. Here are some detailed instructions for addressing individuals of different genders, ages, and honorific titles:

Single Female:

On the outer envelope: Use "Ms." for a woman over 18. For a young woman under 18, use "Miss," spelled out, not abbreviated.

Example: "Ms. Elizabeth Lemon" or "Miss Donna-Jo Tanner"

On the inner envelope: You can use the same format as the outer envelope or just the first name.

Example: "Ms. Lemon" or "Elizabeth"

Single Male:

On the outer envelope: Use "Mr." for a man over 18. No title is necessary for boys under 18.

Example: "Mr. George Costanza"

On the inner envelope: You can use the same format as the outer envelope or just the first name.

Example: "Mr. Costanza" or "George"

Widowed Female:

It is best to ask about their preferred title. They may prefer "Mrs." with their husband's name or their married name. Some widowed women might also opt for "Ms."

Example: "Mrs. George Devereaux" or "Mrs. Blanche Devereaux"

Divorced Female:

You can use either "Mrs." or "Ms." with either her ex-husband's last name (if she still uses it) or her maiden name, depending on her preference.

Example: "Mrs./Ms. Cookie Lyon" or "Mrs./Ms. Cookie Holloway"

Judge:

Use the term "The Honorable" before their full name.

Example: "The Honorable Sonia Sotomayor"

Priest:

Use the term "Father" before their full name.

Example: "Father Damien Karras"

General Guidelines for Individuals:

• Always use the person's preferred title if you are aware of it. If unsure, it is safer to forgo the title altogether.
• For invitations with a plus-one, mention the guest's name on the inner envelope if known. If unknown, use "and guest" in lowercase letters.
• When addressing individuals with distinguished titles (e.g., doctors, lawyers, military personnel), use their title on the outer envelope.
• Avoid using nicknames or abbreviations.
• If both names don't fit on the same line, indent the second line.

Frequently asked questions