The Art Of Following Up After A Wedding Invitation

Wedding invitations are a crucial part of the planning process, and the response cards included with the invitations are essential for the couple to know how many guests will be attending. While it is likely that not everyone will respond to the invitation by the deadline, it is appropriate to follow up with those who haven't responded. This is necessary to give vendors the information they need to finalise details such as the floor plan, place cards, and the number of meals required. Couples should give their guests around two to four weeks to respond to the invitation, and it is suggested that an earlier deadline than required is put on the RSVP cards to account for stragglers. If guests haven't responded after the deadline, it is recommended to give them an extra week as a grace period before following up.

When to follow up with guests who haven't responded to your wedding invitation

When it comes to following up with wedding guests who haven't responded to your invitation, timing is everything. Here's a guide on when to follow up with guests who haven't RSVP'd to your wedding:

It is common for couples to send out wedding invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding and to give guests four weeks to respond. It is a good idea to set your RSVP date for two to four weeks before your wedding date. This will give you enough time to confirm the final headcount with your caterer and finalise your seating arrangements.

Since late RSVPs are to be expected, it is a good idea to set an earlier deadline than you actually need. For example, if you need a headcount by 21 September for a 21 October wedding, ask your guests to reply by 14 September. You can also give your guests an extra week after the specified RSVP date as a grace period. If you are still waiting on responses after this grace period, it is time to start following up with your guests.

Keep a detailed record of who has and hasn't responded to your invitation. Once you have a list of guests who are behind schedule, reach out to them individually and ask if they will be attending. It is best to connect with each guest via their preferred method of communication, whether that be a text message, email, or phone call. Your message can be informal, simply reminding them to RSVP. If you are nervous about reaching out or don't have the time, you can ask a member of the wedding party to contact guests on your behalf.

How to follow up with guests who haven't responded

It is necessary to follow up with guests who haven't responded to your wedding invitation. You need to know the exact number of guests to give your vendors accurate information. Here are some tips on how to follow up with guests who haven't responded:

When to follow up

Give your guests three to four weeks to respond to your wedding invitation. This is the standard amount of time and will allow you to get a final headcount for your vendors. If you haven't heard back from some guests by the deadline, give them an extra week as a grace period. If you are still waiting on responses after this time, start following up.

How to follow up

Keep a detailed record of who has and hasn't responded to your invitation. Once you have a list of guests who are behind schedule, reach out to them individually and ask if they will be attending. Contact them via text message, email, or phone call—whichever form of communication you usually use to speak to them. You could say something like: "Hey, I'm trying to get a final headcount for my wedding, so this is just a reminder to RSVP!" If you don't have the time or feel too nervous to reach out yourself, ask your maid of honour, best man, or another member of the wedding party to contact them for you.

What to include on the invitation

To help ensure you receive RSVPs on time, include an "RSVP by" date on your RSVP cards. This should be two to three weeks before the wedding date. Also, make sure to include a pre-addressed and stamped envelope to make it easy for your guests to respond.

How much time to give guests to RSVP

It is important to give your wedding guests enough time to RSVP. While you wait for responses, you may find yourself checking the mailbox daily to see if any new wedding guest RSVPs have arrived. Knowing that everyone goes through this phase doesn't make the process any easier. However, having a plan in place to get everyone to respond in a timely manner can help.

Set a Clear RSVP Deadline

Ideally, the "RSVP by" date should be set two to three weeks before your wedding date. This will give you enough time to provide your caterer with a final headcount, which is usually needed about a week before the wedding. An accurate headcount will also allow you to finalise your seating arrangements.

Mail Invitations Six to Eight Weeks Before the Wedding

It is recommended to send out your wedding invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding. This gives your guests about a month to respond. "This way, it's close enough that your guests feel like they can't put it off, yet it's not so close that they've made other plans," explains Arizona-based wedding planner Chandra Keel.

Give Guests Four to Five Weeks to RSVP

While some guests will respond promptly after receiving their invitation, others may take a few weeks to respond. Giving your guests four to five weeks to RSVP is generally enough time for them to figure out their availability and make any necessary travel arrangements.

Start Following Up After the RSVP Deadline

Don't hesitate to start following up with guests the day after the RSVP deadline passes. If they haven't responded, ask them if they received the invitation and politely enquire about their attendance. Most guests will apologise for their tardiness and provide an answer promptly. If they are still unsure, give them a deadline of 24 hours to respond, explaining that you need to provide the caterer with a final number.

Add Extra Time for Destination Weddings

For destination weddings, it is advisable to set an earlier RSVP deadline, about two months before the wedding. This is because guests will need more time to arrange flights and accommodations. Sending out invitations about four months in advance will give guests ample time to make their travel plans.

Make the RSVP Date Clear

Ensure that the RSVP date is legible on the card. If you are providing a digital RSVP option on your wedding website, consider adding a countdown ticker to create a sense of urgency.

By following these guidelines, you can effectively manage the RSVP process for your wedding and increase the likelihood of receiving timely responses from your guests.

What to do if you need RSVPs sooner than your deadline

It's important to give your guests enough time to respond to your wedding invitation. The general rule of thumb is to send your invitations out at least eight weeks before your wedding day and to set your RSVP deadline for three to four weeks before the wedding. This gives your guests ample time to plan and respond, and it allows you time to confirm numbers with your caterer and venue.

However, if you need RSVPs sooner than the recommended deadline, here are some things you can do:

• Send your invitations out earlier: While the recommended timeline is to send invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding, you can choose to send them out earlier. Sending your invitations 10-12 weeks in advance will give your guests more time to respond.
• Communicate the importance of an early response: Let your guests know that an early response is important to you. You can include a friendly note with your invitation, such as "We would appreciate an early response as it will help us with our planning."
• Offer multiple response options: Maximize your chances of getting early RSVPs by giving your guests several ways to respond. In addition to a paper RSVP card, you can also provide an email address, phone number, or wedding website where they can respond.
• Send a friendly reminder: A week or two before your desired RSVP deadline, send a friendly reminder to your guests. You can send a quick text, email, or even add a note to your wedding website. Let them know that their early response is important to you and will help with your planning and budgeting.
• Follow up with guests who haven't responded: If you still haven't heard back from some guests, don't be afraid to reach out. Give them a quick call or send a text or email to politely ask for their response. It's common for guests to simply forget or accidentally miss the RSVP deadline, so a gentle reminder can be helpful.
• Plan ahead: While you may want to give your vendors the exact number of confirmed guests, it's often a better idea to overestimate. Assume that everyone you invite will attend, and plan your budget and details accordingly. This will reduce the stress of waiting for RSVPs and give you a better idea of how many guests to expect.

Remember, it's important to be mindful of your guests' schedules and commitments. They may not know their plans months in advance, and sending invitations too early or setting an early RSVP deadline may backfire, resulting in forgotten responses or last-minute changes. Try to find a balance between your planning needs and your guests' convenience.

Who to assign the task of following up

Assigning the task of following up on late RSVPs to a member of your wedding party, such as the maid of honour or best man, can be a great option. This will help to reduce stress for the happy couple and avoid any potential embarrassment for the guest. If you have a large number of guests who are yet to respond, this could be a time-consuming task, so it may be worth asking multiple members of the wedding party to help out.

Alternatively, you could reach out to late guests yourself. It is recommended to give guests an extra week after the specified RSVP date as a grace period, and then start following up. You can connect with guests via text message, email, or a phone call, depending on what form of communication is most common between you and the individual. A simple message along the lines of, "Hey, I'm trying to gauge a final head count for my wedding, so this is just a reminder to RSVP!" will suffice.

Frequently asked questions