Addressing wedding invitations can be a contentious issue, with many people having strong opinions on the correct way to do it. The traditional way to address a married couple is to include the male's full name, for example, Mr. and Mrs. John Smith. However, this has been criticised as sexist and old-fashioned, with some people preferring to use both first names, e.g. John and Mary Smith. For unmarried couples, the names should be written on separate lines, for example, Ms. Jane Smith/Mr. John Brown. When addressing a family, it is common to use The Smith Family or to list the names of the parents and children separately. It's important to be consistent and to consider the formality of the event when addressing wedding invitations.
What You'll Learn
Married couples with the same last name
When addressing wedding invitation envelopes to married couples with the same last name, there are a few options to consider. The outer envelope is typically more formal, while the inner envelope is more casual.
For heterosexual couples, a traditional way to address the outer envelope is to use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". If you would like to include the wife's name, you can write "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren". On the inner envelope, you can simply write the couple's shared last name, such as "Mr. and Mrs. Warren", or their first names, "Thomas and Michelle".
If you prefer a less traditional approach, you can exclude titles and use both first names and the shared last name. For example, "Thomas and Michelle Warren". This format is also suitable for same-sex couples. When addressing same-sex couples, you can include the appropriate prefixes, such as "Mr." or "Mrs.".
It is important to consider your guests' preferences when addressing the envelopes. For instance, some women may prefer "Ms." over "Mrs.". Additionally, you may choose to use nicknames or terms of endearment on the inner envelope for a more personal touch.
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Married couples with different last names
When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with different last names, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles and names for each person. The outer envelope should be formal and include the full name(s) of the recipient(s), along with their personal title(s). For married couples with different last names, write out their full names with "Mr." or "Mrs." on the stationery. Either the man or woman can be mentioned first, followed by their partner's name. For example, "Mrs. Gwyneth Brookes and Mr. Cyan Matthews" or "Mr. Cyan Matthews and Mrs. Gwyneth Brookes".
If you are close to one person more than the other, list that person's name first. If you are equally close to both, you can go in alphabetical order by first or last name. You can also forgo titles and use first and last names only, or include both first names and the joint last name, for example, "Gwyneth and Cyan Matthews".
For same-sex married couples with different last names, the same format applies. Ensure you address your guests with their preferred titles and names. For example, "Mr. Daniel Ramsay and Mr. Jeric Combs" or "Mrs. Margarette Hyde and Mrs. Kayla Cruz".
When using inner envelopes, you have the option to leave out one or two elements of the formal name format of the outer envelope. You can use personal titles and last names, first names only, or a combination of titles and first names. For example, "Mrs. Brookes and Mr. Matthews" or "Gwyneth and Cyan".
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Single guests with a plus one
When addressing a single guest with a plus one, the envelope should only feature the name of the person you know. The invitation itself should include their name and "and guest".
Outer envelope: Mr. James Montgomery
Inner envelope: Mr. Montgomery and guest, or James and guest
If you are inviting a single female guest with a plus one, the outer envelope would be addressed as follows:
Outer envelope: Ms. Stephanie Chen
Inner envelope: Ms. Chen and guest, or Stephanie and guest
If your guest identifies as non-binary, the outer envelope would be addressed as follows:
Outer envelope: Mx. Sam Li
Inner envelope: Sam Li and guest
If you know the name of the plus one, you can include it on the envelope as you would for an unmarried couple:
Outer envelope: Ms. Jessica Spano Mr. Albert Clifford Slater
If you are using both an inner and outer envelope, the inner envelope can be less formal. You can use titles and last names, or first names only if you are very close with the guest.
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Unmarried couples living together
When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples living together, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, the names of the couple should be written on the same line, with the person you are closest to, or the person with the highest rank, listed first. If you are equally close to both guests, you can list their names alphabetically. Here is an example:
> Ms. Rachel Green and Mr. Ross Geller
Alternatively, you can list their names on separate lines, in alphabetical order by last name. Here is an example:
> Mr. Ross Geller
> Ms. Rachel Green
It is important to note that the couple's names should not be joined with "and", as this is typically used for married couples.
When addressing the inner envelope, you can use courtesy titles and last names or just first names if you are close with the couple. Here is an example:
> Ms. Green and Mr. Geller or Rachel and Ross
If you are only using an outer envelope, simply focus on properly addressing it as mentioned above.
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Families with children
When addressing wedding invitations to families with children, there are a few options to consider. If you are using both an outer envelope and an inner envelope, you can be more general on the outer envelope and specify the names of the family members on the inner envelope.
For the outer envelope, you can address it to "The [Last Name] Family", implying that all family members are invited. Alternatively, you can list just the names of the parents, such as "Mr. and Mrs. [Parent Names]".
On the inner envelope, you can then list the names of the invited children along with the parents. Girls under the age of 18 can be addressed as "Miss", while boys do not need a title until they are 16, at which point they can be addressed as "Mr.". For example:
> Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham
> Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, and Mx. Kelly
If you are using only an outer envelope, you can still address it to the whole family as mentioned above, or you can specify the names of the family members. In this case, list the parent(s) first, followed by the names of the invited children in order of age. For example:
> The Thompson Family
> Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson
> Mr. Bart Simpson
> Miss Lisa Simpson
It is important to note that if you do not include the names of children on the invitation, it may be implied that children are not invited. However, some guests may still assume that their children are welcome, so it is a good idea to spread the word through family and friends that the wedding will be adults-only.
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Frequently asked questions
Traditionally, the outer envelope is addressed to "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the man's first and last name. However, for a less formal approach, you can include both first names and the joint last name, e.g., "Mr. and Mrs. Kenneth and Kelly Arendt".
For a single person, use the appropriate prefix ("Mr." for males, "Ms." or "Miss" for females, and "Mx." for non-binary individuals) followed by their full name. For example, "Ms. Ali Johnson".
If you are inviting the whole family, including children, you can address the outer envelope to "The [Last Name] Family". If you want to specify which family members are invited, list the parents' names on the outer envelope and the children's names on the inner envelope. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham" on the outer envelope and "Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, and Mx. Kelly" on the inner envelope.