Franklin Dean
Wedding invitation wording can be a tricky business, and it's easy to cause unintended offence. When addressing a divorced couple who still live at the same address, it's important to be mindful of their preferences. While it's customary to address married couples as Mr. and Mrs., this may not be appropriate for a divorced couple. It's best to use Ms. or Mrs. and the individual's name, depending on their preference. If they have different last names, you can list either name first, based on your relationship with them, or alphabetically.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Outer envelope format | "Ms./Mrs. [First name] [Last name] and Mr. [First name] [Last name]" or "[First name] and [First name] [Last name] |
| Inner envelope format | "Ms./Mrs. [Last name] and Mr. [Last name]" or "[First name] and [First name] |
What You'll Learn
- Outer envelope: Use Ms. or Mrs. with her first and last name, or her first name and his last name
- Inner envelope: Use titles and last names, or just their first names
- If she kept her maiden name: Use Mrs. [First name] [Maiden name]
- If she has a hyphenated name: List her name last
- If she is a doctor: List her name first
Outer envelope: Use Ms. or Mrs. with her first and last name, or her first name and his last name
When addressing a wedding invitation to a divorced couple living at the same address, the outer envelope should be formal. A good option is to write out the recipient's full name, including their personal title. This is a foolproof format that works for couples of all genders who may or may not share a surname, yet still feels somewhat traditional.
For a divorced woman, use "Ms." or "Mrs." with her first and last name, for example: "Ms. Jane Smith". If the divorced couple has children over the age of 18 living at the same address, they should receive their own invitation.
If you are addressing a divorced couple with the same last name, you can use the following format:
Outer envelope: "Ms. or Mrs. Jane Smith and Mr. John Smith"
Inner envelope: "Ms. Smith and Mr. Smith" or "Jane and John"
If the divorced couple has different last names, you can use the following format:
Outer envelope: "Ms. Jane Smith and Mr. David Estevez"
Inner envelope: "Ms. Smith and Mr. Estevez" or "Jane and David"
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Inner envelope: Use titles and last names, or just their first names
When addressing a divorced couple at the same address on a wedding invitation, the inner envelope is where you have some flexibility. This is where you can choose to use titles and last names or just their first names.
The inner envelope is more informal, so you can leave out elements of the formal name format used on the outer envelope. If using titles and last names together feels right, that works. If you're going for a more casual vibe and would like to use first names only, that's also fine.
For example, if a divorced couple has the same last name, you can list them together using their first and last names:
"Robert and Linda"
If a divorced couple has different last names, you can list either name first based on your preference, or whomever you're closest with:
"Leslie and Ben"
If one partner has a hyphenated name, list the hyphenated name last:
"Andy and April"
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If she kept her maiden name: Use Mrs. [First name] [Maiden name]
If a divorced woman who kept her maiden name is in a new relationship and living with her partner, the wedding invitation should be addressed to both individuals on one line. The woman's name should come first, followed by her partner's name on a separate line below. Use "Ms." or "Miss" for single women.
For example, if the woman's name is Jane Doe and her partner's name is John Smith, the outer envelope can be addressed as follows:
> Ms. Jane Doe
> John Smith
On the inner envelope, you can drop the first names and refer to each invitee using their title and last name:
> Ms. Doe
> Mr. Smith
If the woman's partner is also divorced and has kept their maiden name, you can address them in a similar format, ensuring that their names are on separate lines:
> Ms. Jane Doe
> Mr. John Smith
On the inner envelope:
> Ms. Doe
> Mr. Smith
If the divorced woman and her partner have different last names but choose to hyphenate their last names, the outer envelope can be addressed as follows:
> Ms. Jane Doe-Smith
> Mr. John Smith
On the inner envelope:
> Ms. Doe-Smith
> Mr. Smith
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If she has a hyphenated name: List her name last
When addressing a wedding invitation to a divorced woman with a hyphenated name, you should use "Ms." or "Mrs." followed by her full name. Here's an example:
> Outer envelope: Mr. Andy Dwyer and Ms. April Ludgate-Dwyer
> Inner envelope: Mr. Dwyer and Ms. Ludgate-Dwyer or Andy and April
If the divorced woman has children and you are inviting the whole family, you can format the invitation as follows:
> Outer envelope: Mr. Andy Dwyer and Mrs. April Ludgate-Dwyer
> Inner envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Dwyer Anders Dwyer Sue Dwyer
If you are hosting an informal wedding, you can use a more casual format:
> Outer envelope: Mr. Andy Dwyer and Ms. April Ludgate-Dwyer
> Inner envelope: Andy and April
It is important to note that the outer envelope is more formal and includes the full names of the invitees, while the inner envelope is slightly more casual and can include first names only.
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If she is a doctor: List her name first
If you are addressing a wedding invitation to a divorced couple at the same address, and one person is a doctor, you should list the person with the professional title first. Here are some examples to illustrate this:
Outer envelope:
If the doctor is the woman and she kept her married name:
> Doctor Elizabeth Smith and Mr. Robert Smith
If the doctor is the woman and she uses her maiden name:
> Doctor Elizabeth Brown and Mr. Robert Smith
If the doctor is the man:
> Doctor and Mrs. Robert Smith
> Doctor Robert Smith and Mrs. Elizabeth Smith
Inner envelope:
If the doctor is the woman and she kept her married name:
> Dr. Smith and Mr. Smith
> Elizabeth and Robert
If the doctor is the woman and she uses her maiden name:
> Dr. Elizabeth Brown and Mr. Smith
> Elizabeth and Robert
If the doctor is the man:
> Dr. Smith and Mrs. Smith
> Robert and Elizabeth
If the doctor uses their professional name in professional settings and their social name in social settings, use their professional name on the outer envelope and their social name on the inner envelope.
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Frequently asked questions
You can address a divorced woman using "Ms." or "Mrs." and either her ex-husband's last name (if she still uses it) or her maiden name, depending on her preference.
Write the man's formal name on the outer envelope. On the inner envelope, refer to him using his title and last name, and, if applicable, indicate his guest using "and guest".
If the couple is not remarried and do not live together, send a separate invitation to each guest. If they are on good terms, you can list their names alphabetically by last name on separate lines.
