Addressing Wedding Invites: Envelope Etiquette 101

Wedding invitation envelopes can be addressed in a variety of ways depending on the couple's preference. The traditional way for married couples is to include the male's full name, followed by Mr. and Mrs. For same-sex couples, either name can go first. For a less traditional approach, couples may opt to remove titles and include both first names and the joint last name, with the woman's name first. Married couples with different last names can list each full name with and between the names to indicate marriage. Same-sex married couples with different last names can include both first and last names, combined with and. Unmarried couples living together are addressed on separate lines, starting with the person the hosts are closest to. Single persons are addressed with their title, such as Mr. or Ms. followed by their full name.

Married couples with the same last name

When addressing a wedding invitation envelope to a married couple with the same last name, there are a few different options to consider. Here are some examples to illustrate the various approaches:

Formal Addressing:

For heterosexual couples, the traditional format is to use "Mr." for the husband and "Mrs." for the wife, followed by the husband's first and last name. For instance:

• Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren"
• Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"

If the couple prefers the wife's name to be included as well, you can address it as:

• Outer envelope: "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren"
• Inner envelope: "Mr. Warren and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"

For same-sex couples with the same last name, the format remains consistent. Simply indicate the appropriate prefix in front of their names:

• Outer envelope: "Mrs. Shyan Walton and Mrs. Kiara Walton" or "Mr. Denzel Grant and Mr. Francis Grant"
• Inner envelope: "Mrs. Walton and Mrs. Walton" or "Mr. Grant and Mr. Grant"

Informal Addressing:

For a less formal approach, you can opt to remove the titles and use both first names along with the shared last name. It is common to list the woman's name first. For example:

• Outer envelope: "Thomas Warren and Michelle Warren"
• Inner envelope: "Thomas and Michelle"

This format can also be applied to same-sex couples:

• Outer envelope: "Shyan Walton and Kiara Walton" or "Denzel Grant and Francis Grant"
• Inner envelope: "Shyan and Kiara" or "Denzel and Francis"

Outer Envelope Only:

If you are only using an outer envelope, ensure that all invited parties are clearly stated. This may include writing "and Guest" if a plus-one is invited. For a married couple with the same last name:

Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren" or "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren"

In summary, when addressing a married couple with the same last name, you have the option to use formal or informal formats, depending on your preference and the couple's comfort. Remember to consider the use of inner envelopes for a more personalised touch, or opt for a single outer envelope if preferred.

Married couples with different last names

When addressing a wedding invitation envelope to a married couple with different last names, there are a few conventions to follow. Firstly, it is standard to use the recipients' full names, including titles. The outer envelope should read:

"Ms. [Wife's First Name] [Wife's Last Name] and "Mr. [Husband's First Name] [Husband's Last Name]"

For example:

"Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

If the combined names are too long to fit on one line, list them separately:

"Ms. Maria Stevens

And

Mr. David Estevez"

The inner envelope is more informal, so you have the option to leave out certain elements of the formal name format. For instance, you could write:

"Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez"

Or

"Maria and David"

If the couple has children, the outer envelope is reserved for the parents' names, and each child should be listed by name on the inner envelope. For girls under 18, you can use "Miss" if desired, and boys don't need a title until they are 16. If you don't include each child's name, it may be assumed that children are not invited.

Some couples choose to forgo titles altogether, especially if they feel restrictive or exclusive. In this case, you can simply use first and last names on both the outer and inner envelopes.

Unmarried couples living together

When addressing a wedding invitation envelope to an unmarried couple living together, there are a few different options to consider. Here are some detailed instructions to ensure your invitations are properly addressed:

Outer Envelope:

• The outer envelope is the more formal of the two envelopes and should include the full names and personal titles (Mr., Ms., Miss, Mx., etc.) of both partners.
• For an unmarried couple, each name should be written on a separate line, without using the word "and" between them. This is the secret cue that they are not married.
• If you are closer to one partner, their name should be listed first. Otherwise, arrange the names alphabetically by last name.
• When addressing an unmarried couple, it is also acceptable to list both names on the same line, again with the person you are closest to listed first or in alphabetical order.

Examples:

Mr. Aaron Triguiero

Mr. Gabriel Reyes

Mr. Ross Geller

Ms. Rachel Green

Ms. Rachel Green

Mr. Ross Geller

Inner Envelope:

• The inner envelope is more informal and can include just the last names or first names of the invitees.
• As with the outer envelope, you can list the names separately or together, maintaining the same order as on the outer envelope.

Examples:

Mr. Triguiero

Mr. Reyes

Mr. Kim

Ms. Rhee

Rachel and Ross

General Guidelines:

• Avoid using nicknames or abbreviations.
• Ensure you use the correct titles or prefixes.
• If you are having a casual wedding, you may be able to get away with a less formal approach, such as leaving off titles or using only first names.
• If you are inviting children who are 18 or older and do not live with their parents, they should receive their own invitation.
• Always double-check the spelling of your guests' names and addresses before sending out the invitations.

Single people with a plus one

When addressing a wedding invitation envelope to a single person with a plus one, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to use the person's preferred title, such as "Mr.", "Ms.", "Miss", or "Mx.". If you are unsure about their preferred title, it is better to forgo the title altogether.

For the outer envelope, only include the name of the person you are inviting, followed by their address. Here is an example:

> Mr. Tyler Morris

For the inner envelope, you can include the name of the plus one if you know it. If you do not know their name, you can simply write "and guest". Here are some examples:

> Mr. Tyler Morris and guest

> Mr. Morris and Ms. Smith

If you are using only one envelope, include both the primary invitee and their plus one on the front, following the same format as above.

Families with children

When sending out wedding invitations to families with children, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, decide whether you want to specify which family members are invited or invite the whole family. If you want to specify, write the names of each family member, starting with the parents, followed by the children in order of age. If there are female children under the age of 18, they can be addressed as "Miss". Boys don't need a title until they turn 16, at which point they can be addressed as "Mr.".

If you are inviting the whole family, use the family name or the names of the parents only on the outer envelope. On the inner envelope, list the first names of all invited family members.

Outer envelope: "The Thompson Family" or "Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson"

Inner envelope: "Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily"

If there are children over the age of 18, they should receive their own invitations, even if they still live with their parents. List their names in order of seniority on separate lines.

Outer envelope: "Ms. Audrey Abraham"

Inner envelope: "Ms. Abraham"

Frequently asked questions