Addressing Wedding Invites To Gay Couples: Etiquette Guide

When addressing a wedding invitation to a gay couple, the general rule is to follow the same guidelines as you would for an unmarried couple or a married couple with different last names. If the couple is unmarried, each person's name should be listed individually on separate lines, just as you would with any unmarried couple. The order of the names is usually alphabetical, but it can also be based on who you are inviting first or personal preference. For married couples with different last names, both names are written on the same line, separated by and. When addressing a married gay couple with the same last name, you can use the French plural titles Messrs. for men and Mesdames or Mmes. for women. It is also acceptable to list their names individually with their respective titles, such as Mr. and Mr. or Mrs. and Mrs.. Ultimately, the preference of the couple should be considered, and it is perfectly acceptable to ask them how they would like to be addressed.

Titles and names

When addressing a wedding invitation to a gay couple, the titles and names you use will depend on whether the couple is married or unmarried, and whether they have the same last name or different last names. Here are some guidelines to help you with the formatting:

Unmarried Couples:

If the gay couple you are inviting is unmarried, the general rule is to address each person individually with their appropriate title. Write each name on a separate line, just as you would for an unmarried opposite-sex couple. The order of the names usually doesn't matter, but if you're unsure, arrange them alphabetically. For example:

Mr. George Bellafante

Mr. Thomas Jones

Married Couples with Different Last Names:

For married couples with different last names, both names are written on the same line and separated by the word "and". Many married same-sex couples choose to keep their last names, so this format is often the most appropriate. For example:

Mr. Charles Adams and Mr. John Green

Alternatively, you can use the plural form of the title, followed by the names of both individuals. For men, you can write "The Messrs. [Name] and [Name]", and for women, you can use "The Mesdames [Name] and [Name]". For instance:

The Messrs. Charles Adams and John Green

The Mesdames Amanda Jones and Jane Williams

Married Couples with the Same Last Name:

When addressing a married gay couple with the same last name, you have a few options. You can use the standard titles "Mr." or "Mrs." followed by each person's name, and then the shared last name. For example:

Mr. John Graham and Mr. David Graham

Mrs. Jane Clint and Mrs. Sarah Clint

If you prefer to list the last name only once, you can write it as "Mr. John and Mr. David Graham" or "Mrs. Jane and Mrs. Sarah Clint".

Another option is to use the plural titles "Messrs." or "Mesdames" (or "Mmes."). For instance:

Messrs. John and David Graham

Mmes. Jane and Sarah Clint

Additional Considerations:

If one or both members of the couple are doctors, you can use "Dr." or "Doctor" instead of "Mr." or "Mrs.". For example:

Dr. Rob Jones and Mr. Ryan Jones

Doctors Maria Constantine and Laura Constantine

Remember, these are general guidelines, and it's always best to consider the couple's preferences. If you are unsure, don't hesitate to ask them how they would like to be addressed.

Alphabetical order

When addressing a wedding invitation to a gay couple, the general rule is to follow the same guidelines as you would for an unmarried couple or a married couple with different last names. The names should be listed alphabetically, with each person's name on a separate line. Here is an example:

Mr. George Bellafante

Mr. Thomas Jones

On the inner envelope, you can use titles and last names:

Mr. Bellafante and Mr. Jones

If the gay couple is married and has the same last name, you can address them using the plural form of the title, such as "Messrs." or "Mesdames." For example:

Messrs. Dan and John Smith

Or

Mesdames Amanda and Jane Williams

You can also choose to give each name its own title, such as:

Mr. Dan Brown and Mr. John Smith

Or

Mrs. Amanda Jones and Mrs. Jane Williams.

If one member of the couple is a doctor, you can replace "Mr." or "Mrs." with "Dr." or "Doctor." For example:

Dr. Rob Jones and Mr. Ryan Jones

If both members of the couple are doctors, you can use "The Doctors" or "Drs.":

The Doctors Maria and Laura Constantine

When addressing close relatives, the use of "Mr." and "Mrs." is not necessary.

Remember, these are general guidelines, and it is always best to consider the couple's preference. If in doubt, you can ask them how they would like to be addressed, and they will likely appreciate your thoughtfulness.

Married vs unmarried

When addressing a wedding invitation to a gay couple, the same rules apply as for any other couple, married or unmarried.

Married Couple

If the gay couple is married, their names should be written on the same line, separated by "and". You can choose to give each name its own title, for example: "Mr. Dan Brown and Mr. John Smith" or "Mrs. Amanda Jones and Mrs. Jane Williams". When in doubt, consider asking the couple for their preferred greeting.

Another way of addressing invitations to married gay couples is with the plural form of the title. For men, you could write "The Messrs. Dan and John Smith" instead of "Mr. Dan Smith and Mr. John Smith". For women, you could write "The Mesdames Amanda and Jane Williams" or use their last names: "Mrs. Amanda Williams and Mrs. Jane Williams".

Unmarried Couple

If the gay couple is not married, you should address each person individually with the appropriate title. Write each name on a separate line, the same way you would address an opposite-sex unmarried couple. The order of the names doesn't typically matter, but if you're in doubt, arrange them alphabetically.

If the couple lives together, you can put the two names on one line and separate them by "and".

Same last name

When addressing a wedding invitation to a gay couple with the same last name, the general rule is to follow the same etiquette as you would for any other married couple with the same last name. Here are some guidelines to help you with the formatting:

Using Formal Titles

It is generally considered appropriate to use formal titles such as "Mr." and "Mrs." when addressing a married gay couple with the same last name. For male couples, you can use “Mr.” for each partner, just as you would for any married man. For example:

> Mr. John Graham and Mr. David Graham

Alternatively, you can list the last name once and write:

> Mr. John and Mr. David Graham

For female couples, the standard formal title is "Mrs." For example:

> Mrs. Jane Clint and Mrs. Sarah Clint

Or, if you prefer to write the last name once:

> Mrs. Jane and Mrs. Sarah Clint

Plural Titles

If you wish to use a plural title, you can use the French titles "Messrs." for male couples and "Mesdames" or "Mmes." for female couples. These titles are acceptable in English formal addresses. For instance:

> Messrs. Charles and John Green

>

> Mmes. Anna and Emily Andrews

Professional Titles

If one or both members of the couple are professionals such as doctors or lawyers, you can use their professional titles instead of "Mr." or "Mrs." For example:

> Dr. Rob Jones and Mr. Ryan Jones (if one is a doctor)

>

> Doctors Maria Constantine and Laura Constantine (if both are doctors)

>

> Jane Smith, Esq. and Sarah Smith, Esq. (if they are lawyers)

Ordering the Names

When addressing a married gay couple with the same last name, you have a few options for ordering their names:

Invitation Recipient First: If you are primarily inviting one person and extending the invitation to their partner, list the invitee's name first. For example:

> Mr. Roger Gonzalez and Mr. Alex Gonzalez

Alphabetical Order: If you can't decide who to put first, the default option is to list the names alphabetically. For instance:

> Mr. Adam Irvine and Mr. Bob Irvine

Personal Preference: If you don't have a specific preference, choose the order that sounds better or more natural to you. Just be sure to maintain consistency, especially if you are addressing multiple invitations or envelopes.

Remember, these guidelines are flexible, and different couples may have different preferences. If you are unsure, don't hesitate to ask the couple how they would like to be addressed. They will likely appreciate your thoughtfulness and willingness to ensure their comfort and inclusion.

Formality

When addressing a wedding invitation to a gay couple, the same general rules of formality apply as they would for any other couple. The level of formality you choose to adopt will likely depend on the nature of your wedding and your relationship with the couple in question.

If the couple is unmarried, the invitation should be addressed to each person individually, with their names written on separate lines. For example:

Mr. George Bellafante

Mr. Thomas Jones

If the couple is married, there are a few different options. If they have different last names, you can write both names on the same line, separated by "and", with each name preceded by the appropriate title. For example:

Mr. Dan Brown and Mr. John Smith

If the married couple shares a last name, it would be confusing to pluralize "Mr." or "Mrs.". In this case, you can use the French plural titles "Messrs." (short for messieurs) for two men, or "Mesdames" (or the shortened "Mmes.") for two women. For example:

Messrs. Dan and John Smith

Or

Mesdames Amanda and Jane Williams

Alternatively, you can simply write out both names with their individual titles, as in the previous example.

If one member of the couple is a doctor, you can use "Dr." or "Doctor" instead of "Mr." or "Mrs.". For example:

Dr. Rob Jones and Mr. Ryan Jones

If both people are doctors, you can put "Drs." or "Doctors" at the beginning of the address.

When it comes to ordering the names, there are a few options. If you are primarily inviting one half of the couple and extending the invitation to their partner as a courtesy, list the person you are inviting first. For example:

Mr. Roger Gonzalez and Mr. Alex Gonzalez

If you have no preference, you can simply choose the order that sounds better or more natural to you. Consistency is important, so be sure to use the same order on the envelope and the invitation itself. If you are unsure, listing the names in alphabetical order is a safe option.

Frequently asked questions