Who Should Attend The Rehearsal Dinner, Including Wedding Planner?

The rehearsal dinner is a pre-wedding event that usually takes place after the wedding rehearsal. It is a chance for the couple to express their appreciation to those who have helped plan the wedding and for both families to meet and interact. While there is no definitive answer to whether the wedding planner should be invited to the rehearsal dinner, it is customary to extend an invitation to them, especially if they are also coordinating the rehearsal. However, some wedding planners may politely decline the invitation or prefer not to attend, as they might want to use that time for last-minute preparations or rest before the wedding day. Ultimately, the decision rests with the couple, and they may choose to invite the wedding planner based on their relationship and the size and format of the rehearsal dinner.

Wedding planner's presence at the rehearsal dinner

The presence of a wedding planner at the rehearsal dinner is not mandatory but can be a nice gesture to acknowledge their efforts and include them in the celebrations. It is a way to express gratitude for their work and contribution to the wedding planning process.

Including the wedding planner in the rehearsal dinner can have some benefits. Firstly, it allows the planner to get to know the people involved in the wedding, such as the couple's families and the wedding party. This familiarity can help the planner better understand the dynamics and relationships, which may be useful during the wedding. It also provides an opportunity for the planner to observe interactions and gain insights that could be valuable for ensuring a smooth and well-coordinated wedding.

On the other hand, some couples may prefer to keep the rehearsal dinner more intimate and exclusive to immediate family and the wedding party. This allows for a more focused gathering without the potential awkwardness of having a hired vendor present. Additionally, the couple may want to give the planner time to rest and prepare for the upcoming wedding day, especially if they have been heavily involved in the planning process.

Ultimately, the decision to invite the wedding planner to the rehearsal dinner is a personal choice. Some planners may politely decline the invitation, especially if they feel their presence is not required or if they have other preparations to attend to. It is advisable to discuss this directly with the planner and consider their preferences and level of involvement in the wedding.

If the couple has a close and friendly relationship with the planner, extending an invitation can be a thoughtful gesture. However, it is not an obligation, and the planner's presence may not be necessary, especially if the couple wants a more private event.

Who pays for the rehearsal dinner?

Traditionally, the groom's family pays for the rehearsal dinner. This includes food, drink, venue fees, entertainment, and transportation. However, modern-day etiquette has evolved beyond these traditional roles, and nowadays, there are many options when it comes to hosting and paying for the rehearsal dinner. While the groom's parents are the traditional choice, the bride's parents, close friends, family members, or the couple themselves can also host (and pay for) this pre-wedding event. It is also possible for several people or groups to split the costs and planning responsibilities.

If the couple wants full control over the rehearsal dinner planning process, they should pay for the event themselves. This way, they won't have to share decision-making with others. Remember that whoever contributes financially to the rehearsal dinner has a say in all decisions, from the guest list to the venue. The hosts also usually give a toast during the event.

The average cost of a rehearsal dinner is $2,300, but this can vary widely depending on the location and size of the event. To save money, it is recommended to keep the guest list small and restrict it to just those who attend the wedding ceremony rehearsal, such as immediate family members, wedding party members, and the officiant. Another way to save money is to throw a casual event, such as a pizza dinner or BBQ, or to choose an all-inclusive venue that offers in-house catering, bar, and rentals.

It is important to note that the hosts are required to pay for all of the guests at a rehearsal dinner. It is not appropriate to ask guests to pay for this event, as the wedding party is required to attend the rehearsal and it is not an optional event.

Who to invite to the rehearsal dinner

The rehearsal dinner is a special event that usually takes place a day or two before the wedding. It is more exclusive than other pre-wedding events, and the guest list should include those who are part of the wedding ceremony.

Wedding Party Members

The wedding party members, including the best man/woman, maid/man of honour, bridesmaids, and groomsmen, are essential rehearsal dinner guests. If there are ushers, readers, or other loved ones participating in the ceremony rehearsal, they should also be invited. Flower girls and ring bearers, along with their parents, are also traditional rehearsal dinner guests. Don't forget to extend the invitation to everyone's spouses, partners, and plus-ones.

Immediate Family Members

The couple's parents, grandparents, and siblings are typically invited to the rehearsal dinner. Stepparents and siblings' plus-ones should also be included. If the couple has a close relationship with their officiant, it is thoughtful to invite them and their partner or plus-one as well.

Out-of-Town Guests

It is customary to invite out-of-town guests to the rehearsal dinner, especially if they have travelled a long distance to attend the wedding. However, this is not mandatory, and if the budget is tight, a separate get-together for dessert or drinks can be arranged.

Other Friends and Relatives

Close friends, godparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins can be included as rehearsal dinner guests, depending on the couple's relationship with them and the size of the wedding party.

Wedding Planner and Other Wedding Professionals

Including the wedding planner and other professionals, such as the photographer or coordinator, in the rehearsal dinner is a nice gesture, especially if they have a close relationship with the couple. However, it is not necessary, as they are providing a service for the event.

Rehearsal dinner etiquette

The rehearsal dinner is a pre-wedding celebration traditionally hosted by the groom's parents. It usually takes place immediately after the wedding rehearsal, the day before the wedding. While the rehearsal dinner is typically a more intimate gathering, the final guest list is up to the couple.

Who Should Be Invited?

The guest list for the rehearsal dinner typically includes the couple's parents, siblings, and grandparents. The entire wedding party, including their plus-ones, should also be invited. The officiant, any readers or ushers, and out-of-town guests are also commonly included.

Who Pays?

Traditionally, the groom's parents are expected to organize and pay for the rehearsal dinner. However, modern couples often choose to pay for it themselves or split the cost with their parents. It is essential to have an open and honest discussion about budget and plans with both families to ensure a stress-free event.

The rehearsal dinner is usually held on the eve of the wedding, directly after the rehearsal. It is best to choose a venue that is within a convenient distance for the guests, preferably within 20-45 minutes of the hotel or wedding venue.

Invitations and Announcements

Rehearsal dinner invitations should be sent out three to six weeks before the event, either by mail or digitally. It is not necessary to send separate invitations if you are having a small, intimate group. However, providing an itinerary for the wedding events and duties is recommended to ensure everyone is informed and can plan their travel arrangements.

Gifts and Favors

The rehearsal dinner is an excellent opportunity to present gifts to the wedding party and parents and to thank them for their support. It is also customary for the host to welcome guests, and other guests may give speeches if they wish.

Rehearsal dinner guest list considerations

The rehearsal dinner is a pre-wedding event that usually takes place after the wedding rehearsal. It is a chance to express appreciation to those who have helped plan the wedding and for close family members of both sides of the wedding party to meet and interact. The guest list for the rehearsal dinner is more exclusive than other pre-wedding events. Here are some considerations for creating your rehearsal dinner guest list:

Wedding Party

Anyone who is part of your wedding should be invited to the rehearsal dinner. This includes the maid or matron of honour, best man, bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girl, ring bearer, and ushers. It is also customary to invite the significant others or plus-ones of those in your wedding party. If the flower girl and ring bearer are children of a bridal party member, it is considerate to invite their parents as well.

Immediate Family Members

The couple's parents, grandparents, and siblings are typically invited to the rehearsal dinner. Some couples may also decide to invite other close family members and friends, such as stepparents and siblings' plus-ones.

Wedding Officiant

The wedding officiant, who plays a significant role in the ceremony rehearsal, is usually invited to the rehearsal dinner, along with their partner or plus-one.

Out-of-Town Guests

It is customary to invite out-of-town guests to the rehearsal dinner as a token of appreciation for their time and financial commitment to attend the wedding. However, this may not be feasible for destination weddings or if there are budget constraints. In such cases, separate get-togethers like a welcome cocktail hour or dessert party can be arranged.

Close Friends and Extended Family

If your budget allows, you may choose to invite extended family members and close friends who are not part of the wedding party. This can include aunts, uncles, cousins, and close friends.

Budget and Venue Limitations

When deciding on the guest list, it is essential to consider your budget and the venue's capacity. Creating a wedding budget breakdown will help determine how many people you can invite without exceeding your financial limits. Additionally, ensure that the venue can accommodate the number of guests you plan to invite, as charges may be per guest.

In conclusion, the rehearsal dinner guest list typically includes the wedding party, immediate family members, the wedding officiant, and out-of-town guests. The choice to include close friends and extended family depends on budget and venue constraints.

Frequently asked questions