When To Invite Him To Your Wedding

Wedding planning is an exciting time, and sending out invites is a big part of that. The general rule of thumb is to send out invites six to eight weeks before the wedding, but there are a few things to consider. If you're planning a destination wedding or your wedding falls on a holiday weekend, it's a good idea to give guests more notice – around 12 weeks is recommended. Sending out save-the-dates in advance is also a great way to ensure your guests keep that date free, especially if you're worried about double-booking.

Inviting him as a plus-one

When it comes to inviting someone as your plus-one to a wedding, there are a few things to consider. While it's an exciting opportunity to introduce your new partner to your friends and family, it can also be a tricky situation to navigate, especially if your relationship is still in its early stages. Here are some guidelines to help you decide if it's the right time to invite him as your plus-one:

• Exclusivity: If you're not exclusive with your partner yet, it might be too soon to invite him to a wedding. Introducing him as your date to a large group of people can imply that your relationship is more serious than it is. It's important to have exclusivity and mutual understanding before bringing him as your plus-one.
• Relationship Uncertainty: If you're unsure about the relationship or are still in the getting-to-know-each-other phase, it might be premature to invite him to a wedding. Weddings evoke emotions and can be overwhelming, so it's best to attend alone or with someone you're confident and comfortable with.
• Social Setting Awareness: If you haven't seen your partner in large social settings before, a wedding might not be the best place to discover how they handle such situations. You want to ensure that your plus-one is socially aware and can handle themselves appropriately in a formal setting.
• Alcohol Awareness: Weddings often involve open bars, and it's essential to know how your plus-one handles alcohol. You don't want to risk your date overindulging and potentially causing a scene. If you haven't witnessed their behaviour in an open bar setting, it might be too soon to invite them.
• Compatibility and Commitment: Weddings require commitment and often come with expectations. If you're not sure about your compatibility or if your relationship is casual, it might be too soon. Attending a wedding together implies a certain level of commitment and can create pressure about future plans.
• Introductions and Representations: Bringing a plus-one to a wedding means introducing them to your friends and family. Ask yourself if you're proud to represent this person as your partner. If you're hesitant or unsure, it might be too soon.
• Attire and Comfort: Ensure your plus-one is comfortable with the wedding attire and the overall event. If they don't own formal clothing or feel out of place, it might impact their enjoyment and your experience. Confirm their comfort level before extending the invitation.
• Relationship Timeline: While there's no one-size-fits-all answer, the timeline of your relationship matters. If you've only been dating for a short time, it might be too soon. However, if you've been together for several months and have discussed future plans, it could be appropriate to invite him as your plus-one.

Remember, the decision to invite him as your plus-one depends on various factors, including the nature of your relationship, your comfort level, and the potential impact on the wedding dynamic. Trust your instincts, and if you're unsure, it's always okay to attend the wedding solo or with a close friend instead.

Sending out save-the-dates

Save-the-dates are an essential part of the wedding planning process, giving your guests a heads-up about your upcoming nuptials and ensuring they can attend. They are especially important if you are having a destination wedding or your wedding falls on a popular weekend, such as a holiday.

When to send save-the-dates

The general consensus is that save-the-dates should be sent out six to eight months before the wedding. This gives your guests enough time to book travel and accommodation without being so early that they forget about your wedding altogether. If you are having a destination wedding or getting married over a holiday weekend, it is recommended to send them out eight to twelve months in advance. For local weddings with mostly local attendees, you may only need to send them four to six months in advance.

Who to send save-the-dates to

Everyone on your "A" guest list should receive a save-the-date, even those who you know will attend, such as your maid of honour. If you are inviting plus-ones and children, be sure to specify this on the save-the-date, for example, by addressing it to "John and Guest".

What to include on save-the-dates

There are a few key details that you should include on your save-the-date:

• Your names: This may seem obvious, but it's important that your guests know whose wedding it is! You may also choose to include an engagement photo.
• The date of the wedding: This is the most important piece of information, as it is the reason you are sending a save-the-date in the first place. If you are having a weekend-long celebration, be sure to specify which day the ceremony will take place.
• The location: Include the city and state or country of your wedding, so that guests can start making travel arrangements. You do not need to include the exact venue or address.
• A note that a formal invitation will follow: This will let guests know that more details will be provided later and prevent any confusion with the save-the-date being mistaken for the actual invitation.
• Your wedding website: If you have one, include the URL so that guests can find more information about accommodations and wedding details.

You may also want to include a return address on the envelope, in case the save-the-date is undeliverable.

Timing of wedding invitations

The timing of wedding invitations is an important aspect of wedding planning. Sending them too early or too late can be inconsiderate and may hurt your guest attendance. Here is a guide to help you navigate the timing of your wedding invitations:

Save-the-Dates:

Save-the-date cards are typically sent out 4-6 months before the wedding, giving guests ample time to plan and make any necessary travel arrangements. For destination weddings or weddings during a major holiday, it is advisable to send save-the-dates even earlier (6-12 months in advance) to allow guests to budget and plan their travels.

Wedding Invitations:

The recommended timeline for sending out wedding invitations is 6-8 weeks before the wedding. This gives your guests enough time to clear their schedules and make travel arrangements if needed. It also allows you to request RSVPs sooner, helping you finalize your seating chart and other details before the wedding crunch.

If a large percentage of your guest list is international or if you are having a destination wedding, it is advisable to send invitations 12 weeks before the wedding. For a few international guests, sending their invitations along with the others is acceptable, but be sure to inform them of the wedding details ahead of time.

RSVPs:

It is recommended to set an RSVP deadline of at least 2-3 weeks before the wedding. This gives you enough time to provide a final headcount to your vendors and finalize your wedding planning details, such as the seating chart and menu selections.

Rehearsal Dinner Invitations:

Rehearsal dinner invitations should be sent out 3-6 weeks in advance. This typically includes the wedding party, their plus-ones, close family members, and anyone else participating in the wedding ceremony.

Welcome Party and Miscellaneous Stationery:

If you are hosting a welcome party for your guests, this information can be included with the invitation suite or posted on your wedding website after the invitations have been mailed. Finalize and discuss any other miscellaneous wedding stationery, such as welcome bag inserts, escort cards, or decorative signage, after sending out the invitations.

In conclusion, the timing of wedding invitations is crucial to ensure your guests have enough notice and can plan accordingly. Sending save-the-dates, invitations, and other stationery in a timely manner will help ensure a well-organized and successful wedding celebration.

Asking for RSVPs

Timing is Key:

• For a non-destination wedding, it is recommended to send out invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding and set an RSVP deadline of around three to four weeks before the big day. This gives your guests ample time to plan and respond, and it allows you to confirm numbers with your caterer and venue.
• For a destination wedding, consider sending invitations ten to twelve weeks in advance and requesting RSVPs within a month of the wedding. This accommodates the additional travel arrangements that guests will need to make.
• Avoid sending invitations too early, as people's plans may change, and they may forget to update you if their response needs to be altered.

Save the Dates:

• If you're not quite ready to send out invitations with all the details, you can opt to send "Save the Dates" to give guests a heads-up. However, it is generally not considered proper etiquette to request RSVPs at this stage.
• "Save the Dates" are intended to mark the date on your guests' calendars, and no response is typically required. Sending these too close to the wedding may be ineffective, as people may need more information before they can commit.
• If you choose to send "Save the Dates," ensure you provide essential details such as the location and date. You can also include a link to your wedding website, where guests can find more information and updates.

Following Up:

• It is common to have guests who don't respond by the RSVP deadline. Give it a week, and then start following up with those who haven't replied. A friendly phone call, text, or email will do the trick.
• When following up, be straightforward and express your enthusiasm for their attendance. You can also inform them that you need their response for final headcounts to be submitted to vendors.
• If you still haven't received a response after multiple attempts to contact them, it is acceptable to mark them as not attending after a certain point.

RSVP Methods:

• Nowadays, there are various ways to invite guests and collect RSVPs. You can opt for traditional paper invitations and RSVP cards or go digital with online invitations and responses.
• Paperless options, such as digital invitations and wedding websites, can make it easier to track RSVPs and send updates or reminders to your guests.
• Whichever method you choose, ensure you provide clear instructions on how and when to respond, including any specific information you need from your guests (e.g., dietary restrictions, song requests, etc.).

Remember, the key to successful RSVP management is finding the right balance between giving your guests enough time to respond and setting a deadline that allows you to finalise numbers for your vendors. Happy planning!

Hand-delivering the invite

Hand-delivering wedding invites is a great way to save on postage and add a personal touch to your wedding invitations. Here are some tips and considerations for hand-delivering your wedding invites:

Timing

It is generally recommended to send out wedding invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding. This gives your guests enough time to clear their schedules and make any necessary arrangements. It also allows you to request RSVPs sooner, making it easier to finalise your headcount and seating charts. If you're inviting international guests or having a destination wedding, it's a good idea to send out invitations earlier, around nine to ten weeks in advance, to account for travel planning.

Advantages of Hand-Delivering

Hand-delivering invites can be a more personal approach and a great way to save on postage costs. It also ensures that your invitations don't get lost in the mail and end up in the wrong hands. Additionally, some cultures prefer hand delivery for guests living in the same city or town.

Considerations

When hand-delivering invitations, make sure the outer envelope is properly addressed according to local cultural etiquette. Avoid handing them out at a party, as they may get lost or left behind. It's also important to be mindful of those who are not invited to the wedding, as you don't want to cause any awkwardness or hurt feelings.

Combining Methods

You can combine hand-delivering with mailing invitations. Reserve hand-delivery for those you see regularly or live close by, and mail invitations to those who are further away or whom you don't see as often. This approach can add a nice personal touch while also maintaining a sense of formality.

RSVP Tracking

Keep track of who has received their invitation, especially if you're hand-delivering to a large number of guests. This will help you follow up on RSVPs and ensure that everyone has the information they need.

Remember, the most important thing is to give your guests enough notice and provide clear information about your wedding. Whether you hand-deliver or mail your invitations, your guests will appreciate the thought and effort that goes into inviting them to share your special day.

Frequently asked questions