Monetary Gifts On Wedding Invites: Etiquette And Wording Ideas

It is not uncommon for couples to prefer cash gifts to homeware items or restaurant vouchers. However, asking for monetary gifts on wedding invitations can be tricky and may come across as rude or tacky. A more subtle approach is to include a line on your wedding website or details card, which is less direct and gives you the opportunity to explain how you plan to use the money. This could be for a honeymoon, house deposit, or home improvements, for example. Another option is to set up a honeymoon/house deposit/home improvement fund with a gift registry service, where guests can contribute money towards a specific goal. This provides a clear signal that you would prefer a cash gift without having to ask directly. Ultimately, the decision on how to word your invitation is a personal one, and you may choose to be more direct or indirect depending on your comfort level and relationship with your guests.

Asking for monetary gifts on wedding invites: a faux pas or not?

It is understandable that couples would prefer monetary gifts over physical gifts for several reasons. They may already be living together and have no need for new homeware items, or they may want to avoid the logistics of receiving multiple gifts on the day. However, asking for monetary gifts on wedding invitations is considered a faux pas and may leave a bad taste in your guests' mouths.

Some guests may perceive this request as rude or gift-grabby, and it could come across as if you are charging an entrance fee for your wedding. It is important to remember that gifts are not required of guests and that you are inviting them because you want them to celebrate this special day with you.

So, what are some alternative ways to politely ask for monetary gifts without causing offence?

One option is to include a line on your wedding website or details card about your preference for monetary gifts. This could be in the form of a subtle poem or a lighthearted message, such as "Your presence at our wedding is enough of a gift, but should you wish to buy us something, we'd greatly appreciate a contribution towards our dream honeymoon."

Another option is to set up a honeymoon or house deposit fund with a gift registry service. This way, guests can contribute money towards a specific goal without feeling pressured to give a certain amount. You can also provide a link to your wedding website or registry from your invitations, allowing guests to easily access this information.

Spreading the word through close friends and family members is another popular option, although it may not be as effective as other methods. If you choose to go with this option, be sure that the person spreading the message is subtle and delicate in their approach.

Lastly, you can have a card wishing well at your reception where guests can leave envelopes with monetary gifts. This option ensures that guests who prefer to bring a gift on the day have a safe and secure place to do so.

In conclusion, while it may be acceptable to ask for monetary gifts in certain ways, including this request on your wedding invitations is generally considered a faux pas. It is essential to communicate your wishes respectfully and thoughtfully, always keeping in mind that your guests' presence is the most important gift of all.

Using a cash registry website or honeymoon fund

Choosing a Cash Registry Website

There are several cash registry websites available, such as Honeyfund and MyRegistry.com, that offer convenient and tasteful ways to collect monetary gifts. These sites typically allow guests to contribute any amount they are comfortable with, making it a flexible option for everyone involved. Be sure to read reviews, terms, and conditions, and clarify any associated fees before selecting a registry. For example, some sites may charge a fee based on a percentage of the funds raised.

Setting Up Your Honeymoon Fund

Creating a honeymoon fund online is usually a straightforward and quick process. However, the real work lies in being crystal clear about the details and itemizing all the experiences or aspects of your honeymoon that you want to fund. Be sure to include various options, such as airfare, accommodation, excursions, meals, and spa treatments, so guests can choose what they want to contribute to specifically.

Communicating Your Wishes to Guests

When it comes to informing your guests about your preference for monetary gifts, it's essential to be polite and transparent. You can include a note on your wedding invitations or website, expressing your wishes in a neutral and respectful tone. Here are some examples of wording you could use:

• "In Lieu of Gifts: As we prepare to embark on our new journey together, your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift we could ask for. However, if you would like to contribute to our special day, we have created a honeymoon fund instead of registering for traditional gifts. Your donation will help make our honeymoon unforgettable and create memories that will last a lifetime. To contribute, simply visit [insert link to your online honeymoon fund]. Thank you for your love and support. We can't wait to celebrate with you! With love and gratitude, [Your Names]"
• "We are thrilled about our wedding, and we hope you can attend! Because we are combining households, we have more than enough stuff. So, instead of a traditional wedding registry, we have decided to establish a honeymoon fund. Contributing to our fund will help pay for our honeymoon — you can also give us specific gifts, such as date nights, spa treatments, and adventurous excursions. We can't wait to head off on our honeymoon, and we'll be sharing lots of photos of our time. To contribute, simply visit [insert link to your online honeymoon fund]. With sincere appreciation, [Your Names]"

Remember, it's important to acknowledge that asking for money can feel awkward, so approach this process with sensitivity and gratitude.

Including a line or poem on your details card

If you're planning to ask for money instead of gifts, you might want to include a poem in your wedding invitations. A wedding money poem adds a touch of elegance and fun to an otherwise delicate request. These poems make it easier for you and your partner to express your preference for cash in a thoughtful way.

"Your presence at our wedding is gift enough, but if you do wish to make a gesture, a contribution towards our dream home would be much appreciated."

"We would prefer your presence not your presents, but if you would like to give us a gift, then money towards our dream honeymoon would be welcomed."

"We have everything we need after living together for a year, and only ask that you share our special day. However, if you wanted to make a monetary contribution, we would be most grateful, but please do not feel obliged to do so."

"The most important thing for us is your presence during the day to celebrate our marriage and gifts are by no means expected. If however, you do feel you would like to give something, then some spending money to enjoy whilst on our dream honeymoon would be very much appreciated."

"As we have everything we need in our home, we would be grateful of money, if you wish, as we are looking at having a family holiday with our children."

"We don't want to offend but we have it all, all household goods and so much more. To save you shopping, sit back and rest, a gift of currency is our request. Don't go overboard or rob any banks, any little thing will make us smile with thanks."

"We respectfully ask that no gifts are brought, if you wish to make a cash gift with which we would like to purchase some larger items for our home, there will be a box at the reception."

"We’ve been together for a few years now, we have pots and pans and linen and towels, we have glasses and toasters, really quite a few, so instead of more gifts, we suggest this to you. If it doesn’t offend and it won’t send you running, what we would really appreciate is quite simply money."

"We’re tying the knot and we just can’t wait, we knew it would happen on our very first date. As we’ve got our home dressed up with accessories, we don’t really think that a wedding gift list is necessary. But if you did want to give something to help us on our way, some money in a card would truly make our day!"

"We’ll soon be saying 'I Do', and for a gift, if you haven’t got a clue, then we’d really love some cash, so that for our home we can splash out on a cosy new bed for two!"

"We’ve just moved home and have filled it with stuff, from books to sofas, we’ve certainly got enough! Instead of more wine glasses, we’d really love some cash, so that we can book a perfect honeymoon and head off in a dash."

"We’re looking forward to spending our wedding day with you, we’ve been planning hard and spending money for a good year or two. As we’re keen to start our married life in style, an amazing honeymoon would really make us smile. Instead of a gift list from a high street shop, we’d really love some money so we can flop on a beach!"

Sharing your preferences with close friends and family

You could say something like: "We are extremely lucky to have a home full of everything we need, so we don't have a gift registry. If you were thinking of giving us a gift, we would be so grateful for a contribution towards our future plans/honeymoon/house deposit." This way, you are expressing your gratitude and also making your wishes known.

Another option is to weave in some of your personal story. For example: "As many of you know, we are saving for our first home together, so we don't need any physical gifts. If you were thinking of giving us something, we would be so happy with a monetary contribution towards our future home." This approach makes it more about your story and less about the gift itself.

You could also mention that you are happy to receive vouchers or gift cards if people would prefer to give something tangible. This way, you are still avoiding any unnecessary clutter while giving your guests options.

It is also a good idea to provide a link to your wedding website, where guests can find more information about your preferences and plans. This can be easily included in an email or text message to your close friends and family.

Remember, it is essential to be respectful and thoughtful when requesting monetary gifts. Your loved ones will likely understand and respect your wishes, especially if you explain your reasons and provide alternative options.

Setting up a card wishing well at the reception

Location and Design:

Choose a location for your wishing well at the reception venue. It can be a dedicated table or a customised box that fits your wedding decorations. You can purchase or custom design a box that matches your wedding colours or theme. For example, if your wedding colours are pink and white, you can decorate the box with pink and white festoonery.

Wishing Well Signage:

Create a clear and nicely designed sign for your wishing well. This sign will help guests identify the location and understand that it is for monetary gifts. The sign can be simple, with just a few words, or more creative with a poem or playful message.

Include a Note on Gifts with the Invitation:

It is considered good etiquette to include a separate card in the invitation envelope explaining your gift preferences. This card should not be attached to the actual invitation. You can write a polite message expressing your preference for monetary gifts and how you plan to use the money (e.g., honeymoon fund, new home, etc.). Here are some examples:

• "Your presence at our wedding is a gift in itself. However, if you wish to give us something, we would be grateful for a monetary contribution towards our honeymoon."
• "We are blessed to have found each other, and we are grateful for your presence at our wedding. If you wish to honour our special day with a gift, we kindly request a contribution to our future together."

Inform Close Family and Wedding Party:

Be sure to inform your close family members and wedding party about the wishing well. This way, they can answer any questions or concerns that guests may have about gift-giving.

Remember, it is essential to maintain a polite and gracious tone when requesting monetary gifts. While it is common for couples to prefer cash gifts, it is important to respect your guests' choices and comfort levels.

Frequently asked questions