The Perfect Wedding Invitation: Heading Your Letters Elegantly

Wedding invitations are a chance to make a great first impression and set the tone for your event. While the rules of wedding invitation etiquette are not overly complicated, there are some nuances to how you address your guests' names, which depend on their relationship status, titles, and whether they're getting a plus one.

The outer envelope (the one that the post office sees) should be formal and include the guest's full name and title. The inner envelope is less formal and can include the guest's first name only. For married couples with the same last name, use Mr. and Mrs. and spell out the husband's full name. For same-sex couples, either name can go first. For unmarried couples living at the same address, list the person you are closest to first, followed by their partner on a separate line.

The host line

The Bride's Parents are Hosting

Married couples typically follow this format:

Mr. and Mrs. John Robert Sutton

Request the honour of your presence

For married couples with different surnames:

Ms. Silvia Marie Goetsch and Mr. John Robert Sutton

The Groom's Parents are Hosting

Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Cannon

Request the honour of your presence

A less formal example:

Matthew & Valentina Cannon

To the wedding celebration of

The Groom's and Bride's Parents are Co-Hosting

If both sets of parents are sharing expenses, list both sets of parents as hosts, starting with the bride's family:

Mr. and Mrs. Robert Smith

Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Gringo

Invite you to share in the ceremony

Uniting their children

Francis Christopher Gringo

The Couple is Hosting

Miss Sarah Nichole Williams

Mr. Andrew David Douglas

Together with their parents

Request the pleasure of your company

Divorced Parents are Hosting

List each parent's name on a separate line, starting with the mother's name, without an "and" between them. If your mother has not remarried, preface her name with "Mrs." and include her first name, maiden name, and married name:

Mr. and Mrs. Philip Hopkins

Request the honour of your presence

At the marriage of their daughter

Andrew David Douglas

Divorced and Remarried Parents are Hosting

Traditionally, only the parents' names are listed, but including stepparents' names is also acceptable. List the mother's name (and new husband's name) first, along with the last name of the couple's shared child. Keep the stepparent's name on the same line as their partner:

Mr. and Mrs. Mark Christopher Dannenberg

Mr. and Mrs. Daniel Andronico Cukar

Request the honour of your presence

At the marriage of their daughter

Including a Deceased Parent

If you want to include the name of a parent who has passed away, rearrange the wording as someone who has passed cannot serve as a host. Here is an example:

Julia French, daughter of Mr. Adam French and the late Iris French, and Austin Mahoney, son of Mr. Camden and Elizabeth Mahoney, request the honour of your presence at their wedding...

The request line

Formal vs Casual Wording

The wording of the request line can be adjusted to match the tone and formality of your wedding. For a formal wedding, traditional and elegant phrasing is often used. For example:

• "Request the honour of your presence" (indicating a religious ceremony)
• "The honour of your presence is requested"
• "Request the pleasure of your company"

For a more casual or modern celebration, you might choose something like:

• "Invite you to join us"
• "Would love for you to join them"
• "Please join us to celebrate"

Honour vs Honor

Using the British spelling of "honour" is a subtle way to indicate a more formal tone to your wedding. This is especially relevant if you are having a religious ceremony. On the other hand, using the American spelling of "honor" is perfectly acceptable for a more casual or non-religious event.

Including Parents' Names

If you are including the names of the couple's parents in the request line, there are a few ways to word it. For example:

• "Mr. and Mrs. Smith request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter Jane to Mr. John Doe"
• "Together with their families, Jane Smith and John Doe request the honour of your presence at their wedding celebration"

Same-Sex Couples

For same-sex couples, the traditional rule of listing the woman's name first does not apply. You can choose to list the names alphabetically or simply go with what sounds better. Here are some examples:

• "Emily and Zara invite you to celebrate their wedding day"
• "Zara and Emily, together with their families, request the pleasure of your company as they exchange vows"

Additional Tips

• Keep the wording consistent with the tone and style of your wedding invitations.
• Capitalize proper names and titles, and avoid using punctuation except after courtesy titles.
• For a formal invitation, spell out the date and time in full, and include the year.

Remember, these are just guidelines, and you can always add your own personal touches to make your request line unique and reflective of your special day.

The couple's names

The names of the couple are an essential element of all wedding invitations. Traditionally, the bride's name precedes the groom's name, but this is not a rule set in stone. Same-sex couples, for instance, can choose to go in alphabetical order or simply what sounds better.

For heterosexual couples, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. For same-sex couples, either name can go first. If the couple is sensitive to leaving out the woman's name, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. [husband's name] and Mrs. [wife's name]".

If the couple has the same last name, the inner envelope can be addressed as "Mr. and Mrs." followed by their last name or their first names. If the couple has different last names, their names can be written on the same line with the woman's name first, or listed separately. For same-sex couples with different last names, their names can be listed separately or on the same line.

For unmarried couples living at the same address, both names should be included on one line on the outer envelope, with the person you are closest to listed first. The inner envelope can be addressed with their surnames or first names.

Date and time

When it comes to the date and time of your wedding, there are a few things to consider to ensure your guests have all the necessary information to show up on time. Here are some tips and suggestions for including the date and time on your wedding invitations:

• Formal vs Casual Wording: The wording you choose for the date and time will depend on the formality of your wedding. For formal invitations, it is customary to spell out the date and time in full. For example, if your wedding is on Saturday, October 26th, 2024, at 3:30 p.m., the wording could be "Saturday, the twenty-sixth of October two thousand twenty-four, at half after three o'clock". For a more casual event, you can use a combination of numerals and words, such as "Saturday, October 26th, 2024, 3:30 p.m.".
• Day of the Week: Including the day of the week is recommended, especially for formal invitations. Capitalize the day of the week (e.g., "Saturday") and separate it from the date with a comma.
• Writing Out the Date: For formal invitations, spell out the date completely rather than using numerals. For example, write "twenty-sixth of October" instead of "10/26". If the date falls between the 21st and 31st of the month, use a hyphen between the tens and ones place (e.g., "twenty-sixth"). Capitalize the month and write it out in full. The year is usually written in numeral form (e.g., "2024") and placed on a separate line from the day and month.
• Time of Day: For formal invitations, spell out the time of day rather than using numerals. Use phrases like "half after three o'clock" or "four o'clock" instead of "3:30 p.m." or "4:00 p.m.". Avoid writing "twelve o'clock" and instead, use noon for 12:00 p.m.
• Indicating Morning, Afternoon, or Evening: It is not necessary to specify "in the morning," "in the afternoon," or "in the evening" unless there could be confusion. For example, if your wedding is at 8, 9, or 10 a.m. or p.m., you may want to include this information. Any time after 5 p.m. is considered evening, and between noon and 4:30 p.m. is the afternoon.
• Consistency in Formality: Ensure that the wording of the date and time matches the formality of the rest of the invitation. For instance, if you write out the date in full, avoid using numerals for the time.
• Reception Timing: Typically, the main invitation includes only the date and time of the ceremony. If the reception follows immediately in the same location, you can add "reception to follow" or "dinner and dancing to follow." If the reception is at a different time or location, include a separate reception card with these details.
• Start Time Considerations: To avoid late arrivals, some couples opt to print an earlier start time on their invitations. If you choose to do this, it is recommended to pad the time by no more than 15 minutes to avoid keeping your punctual guests waiting.
• End Time: Traditionally, the end time of the ceremony or reception is not included on the invitation. However, if you feel it is essential, you can include this information on your wedding website.

Venue

When it comes to wedding invitations, the venue details are essential. Here are four to six paragraphs with tips and examples for including the venue information in your wedding invitations:

It is essential to provide clear and accurate information about the wedding venue in your invitations. Include the name of the venue and the full address, especially if it is a private residence or if omitting it may cause confusion. Be sure to use the correct spelling and wording of the venue name. For example: "The Ritz-Carlton Bachelor Gulch, Beaver Creek, Colorado". The street address is usually not necessary, but it can be helpful for clarification or if the venue is hard to find.

Timing:

Specify the date and time of your wedding ceremony, and if the reception is at a different time or location, be sure to include those details as well. For formal invitations, it is customary to write out the date and time in full. For instance: "Saturday, the fifth of May, two thousand seventeen at one o'clock in the afternoon." For more casual weddings, using numerals is also acceptable.

Reception Information:

If your wedding reception is held immediately after the ceremony in the same location, you can simply state, "Reception to follow" or "Dinner and dancing to follow." If the reception is at a different time or venue, include that information clearly. For example: "Reception at six o'clock in the evening, The Argyle, The Rocks, Sydney."

Additional Venue Details:

In some cases, it may be helpful to include specific details about the venue within the invitation. For instance, if the ceremony will take place in a chapel or a specific area of the venue, you can add that information. For example: "In the Chapel" or "On the Lawn." This can be especially useful for larger venues with multiple spaces to ensure your guests know exactly where to go.

RSVP and Dress Code:

Including an RSVP request and a dress code on your invitation is also common. You can specify an RSVP date and provide contact information, such as an email address or phone number. As for the dress code, it is not always necessary to include it, but it can be helpful for your guests. Some standard dress codes include "Black Tie," "Formal Attire," "Cocktail Attire," and "Smart Casual."

Frequently asked questions