Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Plus Ones Mentioned Or Not?

Wedding planning can be stressful, and one of the most common questions couples ask is who they should invite to their big day. While there are no set rules, there are best practices and etiquette guidelines to help make the process easier. One of the key considerations is whether to offer plus-ones, and if so, how to indicate this on the invitations. A plus-one typically refers to a date or romantic interest but can also include a family member escorting an older guest or a friend attending with a single person. The decision to offer plus-ones may depend on factors such as budget, venue capacity, and the couple's preferences for the social dynamics of their wedding day.

Married, engaged, and cohabiting guests traditionally receive a plus-one

When it comes to wedding guest lists, it can be tricky to decide who should get a plus-one. While there are no hard and fast rules, there are some traditional guidelines that can help you make these decisions.

When addressing the invitations, it is important to include the names of both guests if they are in a relationship. If you are allowing a guest to bring a casual date, you can write their name and then "and guest". This way, it is clear that they are invited with a plus-one.

It is also worth noting that the wedding party should receive a plus-one as a token of appreciation for their time, support, and efforts in the wedding preparations. This includes bridesmaids and groomsmen, as well as the officiant of the ceremony.

In summary, when deciding on plus-ones, consider the nature of your guests' relationships and the dynamics you want to foster at your wedding. Remember that while traditions provide guidance, you can also use your discretion and best judgment to ensure that your guests and their plus-ones are comfortable and valued.

Everyone in the bridal party should receive a plus-one

When it comes to your wedding, you want everyone to be happy, and that includes your bridal party. They have, after all, given their time, love, energy, and money to support you on your big day. So, it's only right that they get to share the day with someone they love too. Here are some reasons why everyone in the bridal party should receive a plus-one:

They've been there for you

From dress shopping to planning your bachelorette party, your bridal party has been by your side throughout the entire wedding prep process. They've offered their unwavering support, and it's only fair that you reciprocate by allowing them to bring a plus-one.

It's a token of appreciation

Allowing a bridesmaid or groomsman to bring a date is a small token of appreciation for their efforts and a way to say "thank you" for their participation in all the wedding-related events over the past year. It's a way to acknowledge their dedication and ensure they feel valued.

It's courteous

While not including plus-ones for other guests might be understandable due to budget or space constraints, it is courteous to extend this option to your bridal party. They have likely spent a significant amount of money on attire, lodging, and transportation, so offering them the chance to bring a date is a thoughtful gesture.

It alleviates discomfort

Attending a wedding alone can be awkward and unpleasant, especially if the bridal party member is from out of town and doesn't know many people. By allowing them to bring a plus-one, you alleviate some of that discomfort and give them a familiar face to enjoy the celebration with.

It's romantic

Weddings are romantic events, and it's only fitting that your bridal party gets to share this special day with their romantic partner. It adds to the overall atmosphere of love and celebration, and your bridal party will surely appreciate the opportunity to create lasting memories with their significant other.

It's about equality

If one person in the bridal party is offered a plus-one, it's only fair that everyone else in the bridal party is given the same opportunity. This eliminates any hint of favoritism and ensures that everyone feels valued and respected.

In conclusion, offering a plus-one to your bridal party is a thoughtful gesture that acknowledges their dedication, support, and expenses. It ensures that they feel included and appreciated, and it adds to the joy and romance of your special day.

For additional guests, have clear criteria

When it comes to wedding planning, the issue of "plus ones" can be a tricky one. A plus-one is typically a guest of a guest, usually a partner or date, but could also be a family member or friend. While it would be ideal to allow every guest to bring someone, budget and space constraints often make this impossible. So, how do you decide who gets a plus-one and who doesn't?

If you're allowing some guests outside of the bridal party to bring a plus-one, it's important to set clear and consistent criteria to avoid hurt feelings. For example, you could limit plus-ones to only married or engaged couples, or those who have been cohabiting or dating long-term. Alternatively, you could allow only single attendants to bring an additional person.

It's essential to communicate these criteria clearly to your guests to avoid any confusion or disappointment. Be transparent about your venue's capacity and budget limitations, which may restrict the number of plus-ones you can accommodate.

To further manage expectations, consider including a note on each invitation that sets clear guidelines, such as:

> "We appreciate all of our friends and family who wish to be present on our wedding day. Please understand that we have limited seating and are only able to accommodate the invited guest, plus one additional attendee."

Other Considerations

When addressing your invitations, be clear about who is invited. On traditional invitations with outer and inner envelopes, the inner envelope lists the names of those invited, including any plus-ones. For modern invitations with a single envelope or online invites, explicitly state the invited guests' names, including "and guest" if a plus-one is allowed.

Additionally, be mindful of seating arrangements. Avoid creating a "singles-only" table, as this may give the impression of corralling single guests. Instead, seat singles between friendly couples to encourage a communal feel and help them meet people organically.

Finally, be prepared for guests to ask about bringing a plus-one. Respond kindly and consistently, explaining your criteria and limitations. If possible, offer to celebrate with them separately after the wedding.

Don't worry about returning plus-one favours

When it comes to wedding planning, navigating plus-one etiquette can be tricky. While it's common courtesy to extend a plus-one invitation to married, engaged, or cohabitating guests, as well as members of the bridal party, not everyone needs to be offered the option to bring a date.

If you're worried about returning the favour to guests who were generous with their plus-ones at their own weddings, rest assured that you are not obligated to do so. Your wedding is unique, and various factors, such as budget and venue capacity, will influence your guest list and plus-one offerings.

Celebrity wedding planner Matthew David Hopkins confirms that "your wedding is—and can be—different from theirs." He suggests that honest communication is key if someone expresses disappointment about not receiving a plus-one. Explain your decision-making process, and they will likely understand your perspective.

To ensure your solo guests feel comfortable and welcomed, put extra effort into your seating chart. Seat them with people they know or match their personalities with fun and friendly tables that will make them feel included.

Remember, it's your special day, and you can set the guest list according to your preferences and constraints. Don't stress about returning plus-one favours; focus on creating a memorable celebration surrounded by the people you want by your side.

Include the plus-one on the invitation

If you've decided to offer a plus-one to your wedding guests, it's important to notify them clearly on the invitation. Traditionally, this is done on the envelope, with the inner envelope listing the names of those invited, such as children or plus-ones. If it's addressed to your guest and a plus-one, it will usually say so, for example, "Mr. James R. Smith and guest".

However, this is not always the case, especially with more modern invitations. If you're only including one envelope or sending an online invitation, be sure to address all invitees clearly and upfront. If the couple is in a relationship, list both guests by their full names. If you're allowing a guest to bring a casual date, write your friend's name and then "and guest".

When it comes to unmarried couples, it's best to address both parties on the outside and inside of the invitation if they live together. If they live separately, each party should receive their own invitation if possible. If you don't have their information, it's acceptable to address the invitation to the primary guest only, including the name of their significant other on the materials inside. If you're unsure of the relationship status, use "invited guest" rather than a name.

It's also important to know the name of every plus-one. This ensures they are addressed correctly and helps to avoid strangers or problem guests showing up at the last minute. It's also more formal than simply writing "guest".

Frequently asked questions