Wording Wedding Invites: Navigating Divorced Parents

Wedding invitation wording can be tricky, especially when parents are divorced. The traditional format for wedding invitations is quite formulaic, and it can be challenging to adapt this to modern family dynamics. The key considerations are who is hosting and paying for the wedding, and how to word the invitation to ensure all parents are recognised and no one is offended. The basic rule of thumb is to list divorced parents on separate lines, with the mother's name first. If stepparents have played an important role in your life, it is appropriate to include their names, too.

Including both parents

Traditional Etiquette Rules:

If you want to follow traditional etiquette rules for wedding invitations when including divorced parents, keep the following guidelines in mind:

• Divorced parents' names never appear on the same line, even if they both remain unmarried.
• The mother's name goes first unless she is not contributing financially to the wedding. In this case, the father's name goes first.
• Only the parents' names appear on the invitation, but it is acceptable to include step-parents on the same line as their spouse.

Wording Examples:

• If the bride's parents are divorced and contributing financially, but the groom's parents are not divorced: "Along with Mr. & Mrs. John Underwood, request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their children on Saturday, the twenty-sixth of June, two thousand twenty-seven, at one o'clock in the afternoon, 777 East Grand Avenue, Prairie Fields, Iowa."
• If both the bride's and groom's parents are divorced and contributing: "Ms. Sarah Smith, Mr. John Smith, Mr. and Mrs. Alan Timmons request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their children Michael Alan Timmons on Saturday, the twenty-sixth of June, two thousand twenty-seven, at one o'clock in the afternoon, 777 East Grand Avenue, Prairie Fields, Iowa."
• If the bride's parents are divorced, and the mother has remarried: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones, Mr. John Smith, and Mr. and Mrs. Alan Timmons request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their children Michael Alan Timmons on Saturday, the twenty-sixth of June, two thousand twenty-seven, at one o'clock in the afternoon, 777 East Grand Avenue, Prairie Fields, Iowa."
• If the bride's parents are divorced, and the father has remarried: "Ms. Sarah Smith, Mr. and Mrs. John Jones, and Mr. and Mrs. Alan Timmons request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their children Michael Alan Timmons on Saturday, the twenty-sixth of June, two thousand twenty-seven, at one o'clock in the afternoon, 777 East Grand Avenue, Prairie Fields, Iowa."

Other Considerations:

When including divorced parents on your wedding invitation, it is important to remember that your family situation is unique, and you should do what feels right for you. You can choose to list your natural parents' names only and on separate lines to avoid bringing attention to their marital status. If a stepparent has played an important role in your life, you can include their name on the same line as their spouse.

Including step-parents

Traditional Etiquette

If you want to follow traditional wedding invitation etiquette, there are a few rules to keep in mind:

• Divorced parents' names never appear on the same line, even if they both remain unmarried.
• The mother's name goes first unless she is not contributing financially to the wedding. In this case, the father's name can go first.
• Traditionally, only the parents' names appear on the invitation, but it is acceptable to include step-parents.

> Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones

> Mr. John Smith

> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter

> Michael Alan Timmons

In this example, the bride's mother has remarried, so her new married name is included. The bride's father, who is divorced, is listed on a separate line.

Modern Variations

If you prefer a more modern approach, there are also ways to include step-parents while still maintaining a contemporary tone. Here are some options:

• "Together with their families": This phrase can be used when multiple step-parents are involved or when you want to emphasise the unity of the blended families. It conveys that everyone is coming together to celebrate the couple's special day.
• Listing each set of parents on separate lines: This approach ensures that all parents and step-parents are acknowledged while keeping the invitation uncluttered. For example:

> Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones

> Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Smith

> request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children

> Michael Alan Timmons and Laura Beth Jones

In this example, the bride's mother has remarried, and her new spouse is included. The bride's father is divorced and has remarried, so his new partner is also listed.

Personal Preference

Ultimately, the wording of your wedding invitations is a personal choice. You may want to consider family dynamics, financial contributions, and the level of involvement of each parent and step-parent. It's essential to do what feels right for you and your partner. Remember, every family is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution.

Wording for remarried parents

When it comes to wedding invitation wording, the most important rule is to create a beautiful invitation that represents you, your love, and the big day to come. Here are some guidelines and examples to help you navigate this potentially tricky situation:

• Basic Rules: The basic rule of thumb is to tread lightly. You don't want to reopen old wounds or bring public attention to your parents' marital status.
• Listing Remarried Parents: If one or both of your parents are remarried, you have a few options. You can list your natural parents' names only and on separate lines. If a stepparent has played an important role in your life, you can include their name on the same line as their spouse.
• Listing Multiple Sets of Remarried Parents: If you have multiple sets of remarried parents hosting the wedding, you can list each couple on their own line or use the phrase "together with their families" to keep the invitation concise.
• Mother Always Listed First: Regardless of who is remarried, the mother's name is typically listed first.
• No "And" Between Names: Remember to omit the word "and" between your parents' names, as this word signifies marriage and is only used to unite married couples.

Examples:

Divorced Parents, Mother Remarried:

> Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones

> Mr. John Smith

> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter

> Michael Alan Timmons

Divorced Parents, Both Parents Remarried:

> Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones

> Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter

> Michael Alan Timmons

Divorced and Remarried Parents, Bride's Father Deceased:

> Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones

> Mrs. Sarah Smith

> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of

> Avery June Smith daughter of the late Mr. John Smith

> Michael Alan Timmons

Bride's Parents Divorced, Father Remarried:

> Ms. Sarah Smith

> Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones

> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter

> Michael Alan Timmons

Bride with Divorced and Remarried Parents:

> Dr. Vance and Elizabeth Gregory

> Mr. James Abner and Lydia Abner

> Mr. Harold and Jane Hyland

> invite you to the wedding of their children

> Amy Abner and Charles Hyland

> January 6, 2018, at 4 p.m.

> Our Lady Queen of Angels Catholic Church

> Newport, California

> Reception immediately after

Remember, these are just guidelines and examples. Feel free to adapt the wording to fit your unique family situation and personal preferences. The most important thing is to create an invitation that feels right for you and your wedding.

Mother hosting only

When it comes to wedding invitation wording, there are no hard and fast rules, and ultimately, it's up to you to do what feels right for your unique family situation. Here are some instructive examples for when the mother of the bride is hosting only:

Ms. Sarah Smith

Requests the pleasure of your company at the wedding of her daughter

Michael Alan Timmons

Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones

Request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of her daughter

Michael Alan Timmons

Ms. Sarah Smith

Requests the pleasure of your company at the wedding of her daughter

Michael Alan Timmons, son of Mr. John Smith

Ms. Sarah Jones

Requests the pleasure of your company at the wedding of her daughter

Michael Alan Timmons, son of Mr. John Smith

Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones

Request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of her daughter

Michael Alan Timmons, son of Mr. John Smith

Remember, the mother's name always comes first, and if you're including the groom's parents' names, keep them on separate lines from the mother of the bride.

Father hosting only

When it comes to wedding invitation wording, the most important rule is to create a beautiful wedding invitation that represents you, your love, and the big day to come. Here are some examples and guidelines for wording wedding invitations when the father is hosting only, and the parents are divorced:

Wording Examples:

If the father is hosting and the mother is not remarried:

> Mr. John Smith

> requests the honour of your presence

> at the wedding of his daughter

> Michael Alan Timmons

> and

> Avery June Smith

If the father is hosting and the mother has remarried:

> Mr. John Smith

> requests the honour of your presence

> at the wedding of his daughter

> Michael Alan Timmons

> and

> Avery June Jones

If the father is hosting and has remarried, and the mother is not remarried:

> Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

> request the honour of your presence

> at the wedding of his daughter

> Michael Alan Timmons

> and

> Avery June Smith

If the father is hosting and has remarried, and the mother has also remarried:

> Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

> request the honour of your presence

> at the wedding of his daughter

> Michael Alan Timmons

> and

> Avery June Jones

General Guidelines:

• The basic rule of thumb is to tread lightly and avoid salting old wounds.
• List the parents' names on separate lines to indicate they are divorced, with no "and" between them.
• The mother's name typically goes first, unless she is not contributing financially to the wedding, in which case the father's name goes first.
• If the father has remarried and you want to include his new spouse, list them together on the same line, e.g., "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith."
• If the mother has remarried, include her new last name to prevent confusion, e.g., "Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Thomas Jones."
• If the mother has kept her married name, you can use "Ms." instead of "Mrs." to avoid confusion: "Ms. Sarah Smith and Mr. John Smith."
• If the mother has remarried and you want to include her new spouse, list them together: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones and Mr. John Smith."
• If the father is hosting and has primary financial responsibility, he gets the spotlight and is listed first.
• If the mother is not involved in the wedding, you can omit her name and simply list the father as the host.

Frequently asked questions