The Best Man's Speech: Keep It Brief

Being the best man at a wedding is a big responsibility, and one of the most important tasks is delivering a memorable speech. But how long should it be? The ideal length for a best man's speech is generally considered to be between 5 and 10 minutes. Going beyond 10 minutes risks losing the attention of the audience, while anything shorter might be seen as a lack of effort. A good rule of thumb is to aim for around 1000 words, or between 1,100 and 1,300 words if you really want to impress. This allows for a few anecdotes, a tribute to the groom, and a heartfelt wish for the couple's future. Remember, it's not just about paying tribute to the groom, but also about entertaining the guests. So, keep it punchy, sharp, and within a reasonable timeframe.

Keep it short

Keeping your best man speech short is a great way to ensure that you keep your audience engaged and entertained. Here are some tips to help you deliver a concise and impactful speech:

Keep it Brief

As a rule of thumb, aim for your speech to last between 5 to 10 minutes. This is the perfect amount of time to share a few meaningful anecdotes, deliver a heartfelt tribute, and raise a toast to the newlyweds. Remember, you don't want your speech to drag on and lose the attention of your audience.

Focus on Quality, Not Quantity

It's not about how long your speech is but about how well it's crafted and delivered. A well-written and rehearsed speech will be more memorable than a long, rambling one. Focus on including only the most relevant and entertaining stories and anecdotes.

Time Your Speech

When practising your speech, time yourself to ensure it falls within the desired time frame. Remember to allow for pauses and laughter during your delivery. If you find your speech is too long, edit it down to the essential elements that will resonate with your audience.

Make Every Word Count

Choose your words carefully and aim for a speech that is punchy and sharp. Avoid meandering or complex sentences that may lose your audience's attention. Each anecdote and line should have a clear purpose and contribute to the overall impact of your speech.

Avoid Filler Content

Resist the temptation to fill your speech with unnecessary details or stories that don't add value. Stay focused on the groom and the couple, and avoid talking about yourself or your role as the best man. Keep the attention on the people being celebrated.

Be Selective with Anecdotes

When choosing anecdotes to include, opt for those that are concise and have a strong payoff. Avoid stories that require a lot of setup or explanation, as they may fall flat. Aim for stories that are self-contained and can be easily understood by the entire audience.

Remember, a short and well-crafted best man speech will be more engaging and memorable than a long-winded one. Focus on quality, humour, and sincerity, and your speech is sure to be a hit!

Don't tell shaggy dog stories

A "shaggy dog story" is a type of joke or story that is characterised by a lengthy buildup and a poor payoff. The name comes from a story about a man with a dog, which everyone comments on how shaggy it is. The man enters the dog into a "shaggiest dog" competition, and when he finally arrives, a judge takes one look at the dog and says, "That dog isn't that shaggy."

Shaggy dog stories play upon the audience's expectations, delivering an intentionally silly or meaningless ending. They are often meandering and filled with irrelevant details, with the humour derived from the fact that the joke-teller held the audience's attention for an extended period for no reason at all.

When preparing your best man speech, it is important to avoid shaggy dog stories. Amusing incidents from the groom's past can be entertaining, but not if the punchline takes too long to set up. Consider whether you need to relate an entire story or if it can be condensed into a few lines of hard-hitting humour. Remember that the groom will be less well-known to some members of the audience, so a long story that relies on intimate knowledge of his character may fall flat.

Instead, focus on delivering a concise and well-crafted speech that touches on the key points: introduce yourself, share a short and uplifting story about the couple, compliment the bride and bridesmaids, and wish them well. Keep your speech under 5 minutes to maintain your audience's attention and avoid losing their interest.

Limit your anecdotes

The best man's speech should be about the groom, but it's important to remember that the groom will be less well-known to some members of the audience than others. A long story that relies on intimate knowledge of his character or experiences will delight some, but disappoint many.

If you do decide that an anecdote is worth relating—and some definitely are—make it the centrepiece of your speech, not one of several stories that get lost in the mix. In fact, don't ever tell more than one or two extended stories. The wait between laughs is too long, and if a story falls flat, it'll suck the life out of the room quicker than you can say "at which point, the vicar walked in".

Got a great story but it takes a lot of explaining? Forget about it. If it takes more than 100 words before you get to the laughter, then the story isn't one for the speech. Aim for punchy and sharp, not meandering and complex.

A good best man's speech should be limited to no more than 1,000 words. That's about seven minutes. Any longer and you'll start to lose your audience.

If you're telling a story about the groom, make sure it's a good one. Generally, you need about three or four good anecdotes about the groom that illustrate his character in action. One cardinal rule remains: don't mention exes. No matter how funny you think it might be, it isn't.

Don't mention the ex

The ideal length of a best man's speech is generally considered to be between 3 and 10 minutes. However, the exact duration can vary depending on factors such as the number of speakers and cultural norms. For instance, in the UK, a best man's speech is typically expected to last up to 10 minutes, while in the US, a shorter speech of around 5 minutes is more common.

Now, moving on to the topic of "Don't mention the ex." This is a crucial piece of advice for any best man preparing their speech. Here are four to six paragraphs elaborating on this point:

It is essential to avoid any references to the groom's ex-girlfriends or past relationships in your speech. This may seem obvious, but it is worth emphasizing as it can easily ruin the bride's special day and your friend's wedding. Even light-hearted or humorous mentions of past relationships can be risky and are best avoided. Remember, the wedding day is all about the bride, and bringing up the groom's exes is unlikely to be well-received by either the bride or the guests.

Focus on the Couple:

Instead of dwelling on the past, keep the speech focused on the present—celebrate the couple and their future together. Talk about how the groom has changed for the better, his new interests outside of pubs and football, and how happy he is with his new wife. You can also mention how the bride and groom met, but avoid going into details, especially if they met online and prefer not to advertise it. Keep it light and positive, alluding generally to their love story.

Keep it Tasteful:

While it's expected that you'll gently rib the groom a bit, don't veer into inappropriate territory. Avoid vulgarity and steer clear of innuendos or non-family-friendly stories. Remember, there will likely be a range of guests of all ages and backgrounds in attendance, so keep your speech tasteful and respectful. You want to share your good humour with the crowd, not offend or embarrass anyone.

Compliment the Couple:

A key component of your speech should be complimenting the couple. Make sure to say something nice about the bride and wish them both well. You can also compliment the bridesmaids, but be careful not to make your speech all about yourself. It's an honour to be chosen as the best man, and your speech should reflect your happiness for the couple and your support for their union.

Keep it Concise:

As mentioned earlier, aim for a speech duration of around 3 to 10 minutes. This is the sweet spot for keeping your audience engaged and entertained. A shorter speech is less likely to veer off-topic or stray into risky territory. If you're worried about timing, practice your speech beforehand and time yourself. This will help you edit and refine your speech to ensure it stays on track and doesn't drag on.

Final Thoughts:

In conclusion, while it may be tempting to include humorous anecdotes about the groom's past relationships, resist the urge. Keep your speech focused on the present and the future, celebrate the couple, and avoid anything that could be seen as offensive or inappropriate. Remember, the goal is to send the newlyweds off with laughter and warm wishes, not awkwardness or embarrassment.

Beware of the bride

The bride should be considered off-limits as a subject for humour or ridicule. This is her special day, and the last thing she needs is for her new husband's friend to ruin it for her. Plus, you do want to stay his friend, right? As of today, she has the power to scupper that plan with a wave of her hand.

A good best man's speech should be limited to not more than 1000 words. That's about seven minutes. Any longer and you'll start to lose your audience. If you're one of many speakers, aim for a maximum of 10 minutes, and a minimum of five. The basic rule is a minimum of five minutes and a maximum of 10, though in 'The Modern Couple's Guide to Wedding Speeches', wedding influencer Alison Hargreaves reminds us that "delivering a speech shouldn't take longer than it does to consummate the marriage".

Frequently asked questions