Crafting Wedding Invitation Letters: A Guide

Wedding invitation letters should be concise and include all the relevant details. The tone of the letter can be formal or informal depending on the nature of the invitation. A formal invitation letter is written to an honoree and should contain proper information about the venue, date, time, and purpose of the event. It is also important to mention the name of the honoree and the host's contact information. On the other hand, an informal invitation letter is written in the first person and does not require the receiver's address. The date of writing the invitation is given, but the year is usually omitted. Here is a sample wedding invitation letter:

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter Jessica to Mr. Edward Jones on [date] at [time] at [location]. Reception to follow at [reception location].

Please RSVP by [date] to [address or other contact information].

Hosts and Honourees

The host line is the opening line on a wedding invitation and names the hosts of the event. If multiple parties are hosting, you only need to include names if you're going for a formal feel. If you're hosting the wedding yourselves, this line can be omitted. Traditionally, the bride's parents are the hosts of the wedding and are named at the top of the invitation, even for very formal affairs. However, including the names of both sets of parents as hosts is a gracious option, no matter who foots the bill.

If it's a collaborative affair hosted and paid for by the couple and both sets of parents, you can use wording such as:

> Together with their parents, Emma and Jax request the pleasure of your company...

If you want to include the name of a parent who has passed away, you'll need to rearrange the invitation, as someone who has passed away can't serve as a host. You could try:

> Julia French, daughter of Mr. Adam French and the late Iris French, and Austin Mahoney, son of Mr. Camden and Elizabeth Mahoney, request the honour of your presence at their wedding on the fifth of May, two thousand seventeen at one o'clock in the afternoon at The Reagan Library, Simi Valley, California. Dinner and dancing to follow. Black tie required.

If the couple's parents are divorced and you want to include both as hosts, you can include them all, keeping each parent on a separate line. If you're going to include the name of a stepparent, keep it on the same line as their partner. It might seem complex, but all it requires is a few more lines. Here's an example of how a bride with divorced (and remarried) parents worded the wedding invitation:

> Dr. Vance and Elizabeth Gregory and Mr. James Abner and Lydia Abner and Mr. Harold and Jane Hyland invite you to the wedding of their children Amy Abner and Charles Hyland 01.06.18 | 4 p.m. Our Lady Queen of Angels Catholic Church, Newport, California. Reception immediately after.

If the couple is hosting with their families, you can use wording such as:

> Together with their families, Olivia Rose Smith and John Michael Reyes invite you to their wedding...

If the couple is hosting the wedding themselves, you can skip the host line altogether or start the invitation wording with a warm and welcoming introduction, such as:

> Together with full hearts...

> With hearts full of love and joy...

Request to Attend

The request to attend is a crucial part of a wedding invitation, setting the tone for the celebration and inviting guests to share in the couple's joy. Here are four to six paragraphs with ideas and examples for this section:

Paragraph 1:

"We request the honour of your presence" or "the pleasure of your company" are traditional ways to extend an invitation, especially for formal weddings. This can be followed by specifying the type of ceremony, such as "at the marriage of our children" or "as they exchange their vows."

Paragraph 2:

For a less formal wedding, consider something like, "We would love for you to join us" or "We invite you to celebrate with us." This sets a warm and welcoming tone. You can also mention the type of celebration, such as "at our wedding ceremony" or "as we tie the knot."

Paragraph 3:

If the couple's parents are hosting, the request to attend can be worded as "Mr. and Mrs. [Parents' Names] request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter [Daughter's Name] to [Son's Name]." This format is often used for formal weddings and highlights the role of the parents in hosting the event.

Paragraph 4:

In cases where both sets of parents are hosting, the invitation can be worded as "[Parents' Names] and [Parents' Names] request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children [Couple's Names]." This format honours both families and sets the tone for a traditional celebration.

Paragraph 5:

If the couple is hosting the wedding themselves, the request to attend can be more direct and personal. For example, "[Couple's Names] invite you to share in their joy as they exchange wedding vows." This format is often used for less formal weddings and puts the couple at the centre of the invitation.

Paragraph 6:

It is also common to include the date and time details in the request to attend section. For example, "We request your presence on [Date] at [Time] as we celebrate our union." This provides essential information while also inviting guests to be a part of the special day.

Couple's Names

When addressing wedding invitations, there are a few different scenarios to be aware of that will change how you write guests' names on your envelopes. For example, an invite addressed to a married couple differs from one addressed to an unmarried couple.

Married Couple With the Same Last Name

For a heterosexual couple, use "Mr." and "Mrs." and spell out the husband's first and last name. For a same-sex couple, either name can go first.

Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren"

Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"

Many modern women may have a strong aversion to having their name left out and lumped in with their husbands. If the couple is sensitive to this:

Outer envelope: "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Warren and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"

Married Couple With Different Last Names

For a heterosexual couple, write their names on the same line with the woman's name first; if the combined names are too long to fit on one line, list them separately.

Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

Inner envelope: "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"

Married Couple With One Hyphenated Last Name

In the case of a spouse who has chosen to hyphenate their last name, invitations should be addressed using the following:

Outer envelope: "Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Craft and Mr. Crosby-Craft" or "Marcus and Brian"

Unmarried Couple

Invitations to a couple who are unmarried but live at the same address are addressed to both people on one line. List the person whom you are closest to first.

Outer envelope: "Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Kim and Ms. Rhee" or "Stanley and Amanda"

Same-Sex Married Couple, Same Last Names

If the same-sex couple is married and has adopted one last name, include both first and last names. Place the names in alphabetical order based on their first name. Then, make sure to include "and" to show that they are married. You can also have the order of names based on who you know better.

Same-Sex Married Couple, Different Last Names

If the same-sex couple is married but with different last names, include both their first and last names combined with an "and". Opt to add their desired prefix in front of the name (Mr. or Ms.) for more formality.

Not Married, Living Together

If the couple is not married but is living together, place them on two different lines. This indicates that they are not legally married. That being said, use your judgment. Ten+ years of living together deserves an "and"!

Date and Time

When it comes to the date and time of your wedding, there are a few "rules" to follow when writing them out on a traditional wedding invitation.

Firstly, always spell out the numbers. For example, write "four" instead of "4" and "four o'clock" instead of "4:00". It's also "half after four" rather than "four thirty".

Secondly, include "o'clock" when writing the time. For example, "half after four o'clock" or simply "four o'clock". You can drop the "o'clock" for half hours, e.g. "half after four".

Thirdly, it's always "half after" instead of "half past".

Fourthly, the time of day is dictated by the hour. From 12:00 am-11:59 am is "morning", 12:00 pm-5:59 pm is "afternoon", and any time from 6:00 pm onwards is "evening". Some people say that "evening" only starts at 6:00 pm, but you can choose to go with 5:00 pm if you prefer. The time of day should be written out in full, e.g. "eleven o'clock in the morning", "half after four o'clock in the afternoon", and "seven o'clock in the evening".

Fifthly, as you've already written out the time in full, there's no need to include "am" or "pm".

Finally, always write out the day of the week, the number of the month, and the full name of the month. For example, "Saturday, the tenth of May". Compound numbers, such as May 28th, have a hyphen and are written as "Saturday, the TWENTY-EIGHTH of May". While it's less traditional, you could also write "Saturday, May twenty-eighth". The number of the month should not be capitalised, but the day of the week and the month itself should be.

• "Saturday, the fifteenth of September, two thousand twenty-one, at half after four in the afternoon"
• "Saturday, the eighteenth of June, two thousand and twenty-two, at four o'clock in the afternoon"
• "Friday, the twenty-ninth of April, at noon"
• "Sunday, the tenth of October, two thousand and twenty, at half past five in the evening"

Location and Reception

The location and reception details are essential components of a wedding invitation. Here are some tips and suggestions for including this information effectively:

Providing Location and Reception Information:

• Same Venue for Ceremony and Reception: If the ceremony and reception are held in the same location, you can simply mention the venue's name and address. You may use phrases such as "and afterward at the reception" or "reception immediately following."
• Different Venues: When the ceremony and reception are at separate venues, it is common to include a separate reception card or insert in the invitation suite. This card should provide the name, address, and timing details of the reception venue.
• Timing: If the reception is not immediately after the ceremony, include the time on the reception card. For example: "Reception at six in the evening."
• Directions: If the venues are in close proximity, consider including directions or a small map to guide guests from the ceremony to the reception venue.
• Transportation: If you are arranging transportation for guests between venues, include those details on the reception card or a separate insert.
• Website: Create a wedding website with maps and directions, and include the website link on the invitation or a separate card.

Wording and Etiquette:

• Traditional Wording: In formal invitations, spell out the full address and timing details. For example: "at half after four in the afternoon [venue name and address]."
• Modern Wording: For a more modern or casual approach, use numerical figures for the date and time. Ensure the font is legible to avoid confusion.
• Dress Code: Include the dress code in the lower corner or center of the invitation or on a separate details card.
• Multiple Venues: If you have additional events at different venues, such as a welcome party or brunch, include a separate details card with the full itinerary.
• Accommodations: Provide a separate accommodations card with hotel options, especially for guests travelling from out of town.

Remember, the key is to provide clear and concise information while maintaining the style and tone that reflects your special day.

Frequently asked questions