Addressing Guests: Pocket Wedding Invites Etiquette

Wedding invitation etiquette can be a tricky business, and it's important to get it right to ensure your guests feel welcome on your big day. The traditional wedding invitation includes an outer envelope, which is stamped and addressed, and an inner envelope, which is more informal and contains the names of the invitees. The inner envelope is optional, but it can be useful for clarifying who is invited, such as plus ones or children. When addressing your guests, it's important to use their full names and appropriate titles, such as Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss, and to avoid abbreviations and nicknames. For married couples, the traditional format is Mr. and Mrs. followed by the man's full name, although modern alternatives include using both partners' first and last names or using The Mesdames or The Mssrs. for same-sex couples. For unmarried couples, each person's name is listed on a separate line, with the person you are closest to listed first.

How to address a married couple with the same last name

When addressing a married couple with the same last name, there are a few different ways to go about it. Here are some examples and guidelines to help you out:

Outer envelope:

• "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren"
• "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren"
• "Mr. John Rivera and Mrs. Samantha Rivera"
• "Mr. Robert Belcher and Mrs. Linda Belcher"

Inner envelope:

• "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"
• "Mr. and Mrs. Rivera"
• "Mr. and Mrs. Belcher" or "Robert and Linda"

If the couple has the same last name, you can list them together using the husband's first and last name, as shown in the first two examples. However, if you want to address both partners equally, use both the husband's and wife's first and last names, as in the third example.

Another option is to use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name, as shown in the fourth example. This is a more traditional approach.

It's important to note that many modern women may not appreciate having their name left out or lumped in with their husband's. In such cases, it's better to use the second example, which includes the wife's first and last name.

Additionally, when addressing inner envelopes, you can be less formal and use either the titles and last names or just the first names of the couple, depending on how close you are to them.

These guidelines will help you properly address wedding invitations or any other formal or informal correspondence to a married couple with the same last name.

How to address a married couple with different last names

When addressing a married couple with different last names, it is important to remember that wedding invitation etiquette can be complex and nuanced. Here are some guidelines to help you navigate this situation:

Outer Envelope:

When addressing the outer envelope, it is generally recommended to write the names of the couple on the same line, with the woman's name first. Here is an example:

"Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

However, if the combined names are too long to fit on one line, it is acceptable to list them separately. Here is an example:

"Ms. Maria Stevens

And

Mr. David Estevez"

Inner Envelope:

The inner envelope is more informal, and you have a few options for how to address the couple. You can use their titles and last names or their first names. Here are some examples:

"Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez"

Or

"Maria and David"

Additional Considerations:

• It is essential to use the correct titles (Mr., Mrs., Ms., etc.) when addressing the invitations.
• If one of the individuals has a distinguished title, such as a doctor, lawyer, judge, or military rank, this should be included in the address.
• Be mindful of the couple's preferences. If you are unsure whether the wife has changed her name or has a preference for a specific title, it is best to ask.

How to address a single person

When addressing a single person on a wedding invitation, the guest's title and full name are usually included on the outer envelope, while the inner envelope is more informal. Here are some examples:

Example 1: Without a Plus-One

On the outer envelope: Use the person's preferred title and full name. For instance, "Ms." for an unmarried woman over 18, "Miss" for an unmarried woman under 18, and "Mr." for a single male over 18.

Outer envelope: Ms. Ali Johnson

On the inner envelope: You can use just the person's last name or their first name.

Inner envelope: Ms. Johnson

Example 2: With a Plus-One

On the outer envelope: Use the person's preferred title and full name, or a gender-neutral title like "Mx." if they identify as non-binary.

Outer envelope: Mx. Sam Li

On the inner envelope: Write the guest's name and "and Guest."

Inner envelope: Sam Li and Guest

Additional Tips:

• If you are unsure of the person's preferred title, it is better to forgo the title altogether.
• For a widowed or divorced woman, consider asking if they prefer to be addressed using their married name, their husband's name, "Ms.," or "Mrs."
• If the guest holds a distinguished title, such as a judge, priest, or military personnel, use the appropriate title before their name.

How to address a family

When addressing pocket wedding invitations to a family, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, decide whether you want to specify the names of each family member or address the invitation to the family as a whole. If you choose to be specific, write the names of the parents first, followed by the names of the children in order of age. Here is an example:

> The Thompson Family

> Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson

> Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily

If you prefer to keep it general, simply address the invitation to the "Thompson Family" or "Mr. & Mrs. Alan Thompson" on the outer envelope. On the inner envelope, you can list the first names of all invited family members:

> Mr. and Mrs. Thompson

> Alan, Emily, Roger, and Chance

Another option is to use "The" before the family name, like "The Thompson Family" or "The Simpsons."

When addressing female children under the age of 18, it is common to use "Miss" as a courtesy title. Boys do not need a title until they are 16, at which point they can be addressed as "Mr."

If you choose not to include the names of each child, it may be interpreted as children not being invited. To avoid any confusion, it is recommended to spread the word through family and the wedding party and add a message to your wedding website.

How to address a married couple with children

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with children, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, the outer envelope is more formal and typically includes the full names and titles of the recipients. The inner envelope is more informal and may include first names only.

If the married couple has the same last name, you can address them as "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren" or "Mr. and Mrs. Robert Belcher". If you want to address both partners equally, you can include both their first and last names, such as "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren" or "Mr. Robert Belcher and Mrs. Linda Belcher".

If the married couple has different last names, you can list either name first based on your preference, who you are closest to, or alphabetically. For example, "Mrs. Leslie Knope and Mr. Ben Wyatt" or "Mrs. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez".

If one partner has a hyphenated name, list the hyphenated name last. Either "Ms." or "Mrs." can be used. For example, "Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft" or "Mr. Andy Dwyer and Ms. April Ludgate-Dwyer".

When inviting an entire family, including children, you have the option to be specific about whom in the family is invited. If you want to specify which family members are invited, write the names of each family member, starting with the parents' names, and list the invited children's names in order of age below. Female children under the age of 18 can be addressed as "Miss". Here's an example:

The Thompson Family

Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson

Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily

Alternatively, you can simply address the invitation to the entire family on the outer envelope:

The Thompson Family

On the inner envelope, list the first names of all invited family members:

Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Jennifer, and Lily

Remember, if you don't include each child's name, you're implying that children are not invited. However, some guests may still assume their children are welcome, so it's a good idea to clarify through word of mouth or on your wedding website if the wedding will be adults-only.

Frequently asked questions