Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Husband's Name Placement

When it comes to wedding invitations, the age-old question of whose name should come first, the bride or the groom, has no definitive answer. It is a matter of personal preference and comfort. However, tradition dictates that the bride's name appears first, followed by the groom's full name. This is because, traditionally, the bride's parents host and finance the wedding, and thus, the bride's family name is inferred.

The bride's name typically comes first

When it comes to wedding invitations, the bride's name typically comes first. This tradition stems from the custom of the bride's parents hosting and paying for the wedding. As such, the bride's full name, including her middle name, is usually followed by the groom's full name. However, this tradition is not set in stone, and modern couples have more flexibility in how they choose to word their invitations.

If the couple is hosting the wedding themselves, they have the option to arrange their names according to their personal preference. Some couples may choose to list their names alphabetically, especially if they are part of a same-sex couple. This approach ensures a neutral and easily readable invitation.

In addition to the couple's names, it has become more common to include the names of both sets of parents on the invitation, as weddings are increasingly collaborative events involving contributions from all parents. This change is considered more polite and considerate. One way to include both sets of parents is to begin the invitation with a statement like, "Together with their families, [bride's name] and [groom's name] invite you to celebrate their love and union."

While the bride's name typically comes first on formal stationery like Save the Dates and Invitations, the order can be switched after the wedding on items like Thank You cards and Address Labels, with the groom's name preceding his new wife. For items used during the wedding weekend, such as hotel welcome bags, programs, and favours, couples often stick to the traditional order if they haven't exchanged vows yet. After the wedding, the bride may be referred to as "Mrs." and the groom's name may come first.

Ultimately, the decision of whose name comes first on a wedding invitation depends on what the couple (and their families) feel comfortable with. Tradition may guide some couples, while others may prefer a more modern approach. The key is to choose what feels right and sounds good for the couple, ensuring that their names fit well within the design of the invitation and other stationery.

The groom's name can come first

While wedding invitation etiquette traditionally dictates that the bride's name appears before the groom's, this is not a hard-and-fast rule. There are several reasons why a couple may choose to put the groom's name first.

The Couple is Hosting the Wedding

If the couple is hosting the wedding themselves and neither set of parents are mentioned on the invitation, it is not uncommon to see the groom's name first. This could indicate that he is the head of the family or the main financier of the wedding, inviting the guests.

Same-Sex Weddings

In the case of same-sex weddings, there are no traditions that need to be followed, and couples can make their own rules. One option is to list names in alphabetical order, which provides a neutral way to write the invitation. Another option is to choose the order based on what sounds the best.

Personal Preference

Some couples may simply prefer the sound of the groom's name before the bride's. This is especially true if the couple's initials sit better in a particular order, or if they are using a monogram in their invitation design. Ultimately, it's important to choose the option that feels right to the couple and reflects their own style and relationship.

Alphabetical order

When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, there are several different factors to consider. Traditionally, the bride's parents are the hosts of the wedding and are named at the top of the invitation. However, modern adaptations include both sets of parents as hosts, or the couple and their parents as hosts.

When it comes to the couple's names, there are a few options. For heterosexual couples, the bride's name typically comes first, followed by the groom's full name. For same-sex couples, alphabetical order is often used to decide whose name comes first. This is a neutral way to structure the invitation and helps to define the order of names, for example, Jeff & John as opposed to John & Jeff.

Another option for same-sex couples is to go with personal preference, choosing the order that sounds the best or that they are most comfortable with. For example, if a couple is known as "Tina and Cathy" to friends and family, it might feel odd to switch the order just for the invites.

In the case of unmarried couples of any gender, each name is included on a separate line, and alphabetical order can be used to decide whose name comes first.

Personal preference

Ultimately, the order of names on a wedding invitation comes down to personal preference. While there are certain traditions and rules of etiquette that dictate the bride's name should come first, these are not set in stone and are becoming increasingly outdated.

The tradition of placing the bride's name before the groom's stems from the idea that the bride's parents are hosting and financing the wedding. In this case, the invitation would typically begin with: "Mr. and Mrs. [Bride's Father's Name] request the honour of your presence..." followed by the bride's first and middle names, and the groom's full name. However, this tradition is considered by some to be old-fashioned and unnecessary.

Today, many couples prefer to make their own rules, especially if they are hosting and financing the wedding themselves. In this case, it is not uncommon to see the groom's name listed first, indicating that he is the head of the family or the main financier. For same-sex couples, the options are even more flexible, with couples choosing alphabetical order, age, or simply what sounds the best.

When deciding whose name to put first, it is essential to discuss it with everyone involved to ensure everyone feels valued and included. The key is to choose what feels right for you and your partner and to maintain consistency throughout the rest of the wedding stationery.

Collaborative wording

Together with their families

"Together with their families [couple's names] invite you to share in their joy as they tie the knot [date] at [time] [venue name and address]. Dinner and dancing to follow."

Together with their parents

"Together with their parents, [couple's names] request the honour of your presence at their wedding, [date] at [time] [venue name and address]. Reception to follow.

Together with our families

"Together with our families, we invite you to celebrate with us as we exchange our vows, [date] at [time] [venue name and address]. An evening of dinner and dancing to follow."

Without mentioning families or parents

" [Couple's names] invite you to join them in celebrating their union, [date] at [time] [venue name and address]. Reception to follow."

Frequently asked questions