Junior Rasmussen
Wedding vows are promises made by a couple during a wedding ceremony. They are an integral part of the wedding, during which the couple publicly declares their commitment, love, and loyalty to each other. Wedding vows can be traditional, religious, or personalised, depending on the couple's preferences and cultural or religious backgrounds. While some couples opt for classic vows, others choose to write their own, infusing creativity and individuality into their special day. Whether spoken, sung, or even danced, wedding vows are a heartfelt expression of a couple's unique love story, witnessed and celebrated by their loved ones.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Commitment | To have and to hold |
| Monogamy | Forsaking all others |
| Loyalty | To be true |
| Fidelity | To be faithful |
| Love | To love |
| Joy | In plenty |
| Sorrow | In want |
| Health | In sickness and in health |
| Wealth | For richer, for poorer |
| Time | For better, for worse |
| Death | Till death do us part |
| Religion | In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost/Spirit |
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What You'll Learn
Love and devotion
Marriage is a sacred union of two hearts, two lives, and two futures. It is a lifelong connection and a spiritual relationship, a shelter for love and intimacy. It is not to be entered into lightly, but with the understanding that it is a bond of love and devotion.
The theme of love and devotion is central to these vows, with promises to love "till death do us part," "for better, for worse," "in sickness and in health," and "in joy and in sorrow." The vows also often include promises of faithfulness and exclusivity, such as "forsaking all others."
> "I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth."
> "I, [name], take you, [name], to be my [wife/husband], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part."
> "I, [name], love you, [name], as my husband/wife, and I give myself to you, and I promise to be faithful to you in joy and in sorrow, in health and in sickness, all the days of my life."
These vows express a deep and enduring love, a commitment to be there for one's partner through all of life's challenges and joys, and a promise to cherish and honour the union.
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Faithfulness
The concept of 'faithfulness' is a key tenet of traditional wedding vows across many cultures and religions. While the exact wording may vary, the underlying theme of pledging lifelong fidelity to one's spouse is prevalent.
Christian Wedding Vows
Christian wedding vows, including those from Catholic, Methodist, Presbyterian, and Episcopal traditions, often emphasise the concept of faithfulness. For example, in the Catholic tradition, the vow may include the phrase "to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." Methodist wedding vows may include a promise to "forsaking all others, be faithful to her/him as long as you both shall live." Similarly, Presbyterian vows often include a pledge to "live with her/him...according to the ordinance of God, in the holy bond of marriage."
Quaker Wedding Vows
Quaker wedding vows, also known as the declarations made in Quaker marriage, have been documented as early as 1675. In these vows, the couple promises "to be unto her/him a loving and faithful husband/wife/spouse, until it shall please the Lord by death to separate us."
Islamic Wedding Vows
Islamic wedding vows, based on the instructions of the Holy Quran and the Holy Prophet, include a pledge by the husband to be a "faithful and helpful husband."
Hindu Wedding Vows
In Hindu weddings, couples recite a set of vows known as saptapadi, or the Seven Steps, which involves pledging faithfulness and lifelong companionship.
Secular Wedding Vows
Even in secular wedding vows, the concept of faithfulness is often included. For example, a simple vow may include the phrase "to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part."
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Forsaking all others
The phrase "forsaking all others" is a common element of wedding vows, especially in Christian traditions. It is a declaration of fidelity and commitment, signifying that the spouse will remain faithful and devoted solely to their partner, forsaking or renouncing all other romantic interests or relationships.
Understanding the Phrase "Forsaking All Others"
This phrase is often used in wedding vows to signify exclusivity and loyalty within the marriage. It expresses the idea of forsaking or giving up any other romantic attachments, interests, or relationships outside of the marriage.
Examples of "Forsaking All Others" in Wedding Vows
Traditional Methodist Wedding Vows
"Will you have this woman/man to be your wife/husband, to live together in holy marriage? Will you love her/him, comfort her/him, honor, and keep her/him in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her/him as long as you both shall live?"
Traditional Baptist Wedding Vows
"I, [name], take thee [name], to be my husband/wife, and before God and these witnesses I promise to be a faithful and true husband/wife."
Non-Denominational Wedding Vows
"Will you have this (woman/man) to be your (wife/husband), to live together in holy marriage? Will you love (her/him), comfort (her/him), honor, and keep (her/him) in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to (her/him) as long as you both shall live?"
Personalizing Your Vows
While traditional vows provide a structure, many couples choose to personalize their vows to reflect their unique relationship. When writing your own vows, you can still incorporate the essence of "forsaking all others" by expressing your commitment to exclusivity, loyalty, and faithfulness to your partner.
For example, you could say, "I promise to be devoted above all others and to find in you, my husband/wife, a light that to me is home." or "With you, I am whole. With you, I am forever." These phrases convey a similar sentiment of forsaking others and committing wholly to your spouse.
Remember, the most important aspect of your wedding vows is that they authentically reflect your love and commitment to your partner. Whether you choose traditional or personalized vows, ensure that they resonate with you and your relationship.
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In sickness and in health
The phrase "in sickness and in health" is a common element of traditional wedding vows in many cultures and religions. It is a promise that the couple will take care of each other and remain committed to each other, even during times of illness or health challenges. This phrase is often followed by or accompanied by the phrase "till death do us part" or "until death us depart," signifying the seriousness and longevity of the commitment being made.
However, the promise to support and love each other through these changes remains constant. It is a lifelong commitment to choose to put the other person first and to treat them with the utmost care and respect, regardless of the circumstances. It is a recognition that marriage is not just about the good times, but also about standing together during difficult and challenging periods of sickness or health issues.
The exact wording of wedding vows can vary depending on personal preference, cultural background, and religious beliefs. For example, traditional Catholic wedding vows may include the phrase "in sickness and in health" as part of a longer vow: "I, [name], take you, [name], to be my lawfully wedded [wife/husband], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."
Similarly, in the United States, Baptist wedding vows often include a promise to "comfort" and "keep" one's spouse "in sickness and in health." Meanwhile, traditional Presbyterian wedding vows may include the phrase "in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live."
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Holy matrimony
In the Church of England, the priest or minister asks the couple a series of questions to ensure there is no lawful impediment to their marriage. They then ask the man and woman separately:
> Wilt thou have this woman/man to thy wedded wife/husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love her/him, comfort her/him, honour, and keep her/him, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto her/him, so long as ye both shall live?
The couple then exchanges vows, often including the traditional phrases: "to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."
In the Hindu tradition, the couple takes seven steps around a holy fire, making a promise with each step, bonding them in wedded matrimony.
In the Lutheran tradition, matrimony is a covenant of fidelity. In the Presbyterian tradition, the pastor explains that the vows are the promises that bind a couple together in matrimony.
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Frequently asked questions
A typical 'Do you take this woman...' wedding vow is: "I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, I promise to love and cherish you."
Non-traditional 'Do you take this woman...' wedding vows might include: "I, [name], take you, [name], to be my equal partner in love, life, and law, today, tomorrow, and forever. I promise to treat you with dignity and respect, and to support and care for you through all life's challenges and joys."
Yes, you can include religious elements in your 'Do you take this woman...' wedding vows. For example, you could say: "I, [name], take thee, [name], to be my wedded wife, according to God's holy ordinance, and thereto I give thee my troth."
Writing your own 'Do you take this woman...' wedding vows can make your ceremony more special and personalised. You can choose to speak your vows directly to your partner, or you can have your officiant prompt you with questions, such as "Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?" to which you can respond with "I do" or a more elaborate affirmation of your love and commitment.
When making 'Do you take this woman...' wedding vows, it is important to consider the seriousness of the commitment you are making. Marriage is a lifelong union that requires love, care, and responsibility. Your vows should reflect your willingness to enter this union freely and your promise to support and honour your partner through all life's challenges and joys.
