Franklin Dean
While traditional Chinese weddings do not usually involve the exchange of wedding vows, Chinese-American weddings often combine Chinese traditions with Western elements, such as the inclusion of vows. In ancient China, the bride and groom may not have met until their wedding day, and the match was often made to connect two families or improve their status. On the day of the wedding, the bride would wear red, a colour symbolic of love, honour, and fertility. In modern Chinese-American weddings, vows are intimate, heartwarming messages exchanged between the newlyweds about their lifelong commitment to one another.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Wedding attire colour | Red |
| Bride's head covering | Red handkerchief |
| Bride's family's role | Give the bride's name, birthday, and description to the matchmaker |
| Groom's family's role | Send betrothal gifts to the bride's family |
| Wedding vows | "You and I have so much love that it burns like a fire, in which we bake a lump of clay molded into a figure of you and a figure of me." |
| "Then we take both of them, and break them into pieces, and mix the pieces with water, and mold again a figure of you, and a figure of me. I am in your clay. You are in my clay. In life, we share a single quilt. In death, we will share one bed." | |
| "Are you willing to take [bride/groom] as your [wife/husband], in sacred marriage together for life? Whether [she/he] has sickness or health, poverty or wealth, beauty or is plain, in good times and in bad, are you willing to love [her/him], to comfort [her/him], to respect [her/him], and protect [her/him]? And are you willing to be forever loyal to [her/him]?" |
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What You'll Learn
Traditional Chinese weddings do not usually include vows
Traditional Chinese weddings are rich with rituals and symbolism, but they do not usually include vows. Wedding traditions in China vary across regions and provinces, and the rituals followed are said to have been devised by Prince Zhou Gong, whose father, Zhou Wu Wang, ruled between 1099 and 1056 BC.
In ancient China, a good marrying age was around 20 years for men and 16 for women. Marriages were often arranged to connect two families or improve their status, and the prospective bride and groom might not meet until their wedding day. Once a proposal was accepted, a matchmaker would visit the bride's home to learn about her, including her name, birthday, appearance, and health. This information, along with the groom's details, would be taken to a fortune teller to ensure the couple was a good match according to the Chinese zodiac.
On her wedding day, the bride would dress in a red skirt and cover her head with a red handkerchief, as red symbolises love, honour, and fertility. Before leaving her parents' home, she would cry to show her reluctance to leave her mother and thank her parents. The groom would collect her and travel to his home, where the ceremony would take place.
While traditional Chinese weddings do not typically include vows, Chinese-American weddings often combine Chinese traditions with Western elements, such as exchanging vows.
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Chinese-American weddings may combine traditions
Chinese-American weddings often combine Chinese and Western wedding traditions. For example, while it is customary to wear a red wedding cheongsam for the Chinese tea ceremony, many Chinese-American brides now opt to wear a modern white wedding cheongsam for this part of the ceremony. The couple may then change into a more Western white wedding dress and suit during the dinner. The tea ceremony is another important tradition that can be incorporated into Chinese-American weddings. This usually takes place in the morning at the family home, with the bride and groom serving tea to their parents and elders in a specific order.
Chinese wedding invitations are typically red and placed in a red envelope, with gold or red wording, and the Chinese calendar date noted. The double happiness symbol is also often included somewhere on the invitation. To incorporate this tradition into their wedding, Chinese-American couples may use red accents and Chinese characters on their invitations or seal their invites with a Chinese stamp.
Another Chinese wedding custom is the hair combing ceremony, which takes place the day before the wedding at the bride's home. This symbolises the bride's transition from childhood into adulthood and involves a person of good fortune, usually the bride's mother, reciting specific lines as they comb the bride's hair. Chinese-American couples may choose to include this tradition in their wedding celebrations as a special moment between the bride and her mother.
When choosing a date for their wedding, Chinese couples traditionally consult a monk, fortune teller, or the Chinese calendar to choose a favourable date based on their birth dates. Certain dates are considered unlucky and should be avoided. Chinese-American couples may choose to incorporate this tradition by selecting a lucky date around the time of year that they wish to get married.
Chinese weddings traditionally include a procession, with the groom leading a procession from his house to the bride's home, lighting firecrackers and striking gongs to ward off evil spirits. Chinese-American couples may choose to include this tradition in their wedding by decorating a car with red streamers and flowers and driving from the groom's house to the bride's.
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The role of the matchmaker
In traditional Chinese marriages, matchmakers played a crucial role in arranging marriages between two families. They were hired by the parents of the prospective bride and groom when the couple reached marriageable age. The matchmaker's role was to act as an intermediary, facilitating successful marriage arrangements and delivering messages between the families. They would receive payments for their services, with the final payment being significantly larger than the "visiting payments" they received from the hosts when they travelled back and forth between the households.
Matchmakers took various factors into consideration when arranging a match, including social status, family background, education, and a kind of fortune-telling based on birth dates. Wealthy families typically sought brides of similar status who could manage finances and produce male heirs, while poor families were less demanding and primarily sought hard-working brides. In some cases, matchmakers would bring young women to the houses of wealthy clients for them to choose from.
Once a potential match was identified, the matchmaker would accompany the man's parents to the woman's family to ask for permission and facilitate the proposal. If the proposal was accepted, the matchmaker would collect detailed information about the bride, including her name, birth date, appearance, and health. This information, along with the birth date of the groom, would be taken to a fortune teller to ensure the couple was astrologically compatible. The matchmaker would also be involved in negotiating the bride price and dowry arrangements between the families.
After the proposal was accepted, the matchmaker would host a tea ceremony where the couple would meet for the first time. During this ceremony, the man could propose by offering the woman an embroidered red bag, and she could accept by receiving the saucer with the tea. The wedding ceremony would often take place after a long engagement, with the matchmaker and fortune teller deciding on an auspicious date to assure the couple's happiness and prosperity.
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The importance of the colour red
Traditional Chinese weddings do not usually include vows, but many Chinese-American weddings combine Chinese traditions with Western elements. For example, it is customary for brides in China to wear red, which is the country's sacred colour, to bring honour, success, loyalty, fertility, and love, as well as to ward off evil spirits.
The Qipao, also known as the Cheongsam, is a one-piece red dress that is often decorated with an elaborate gold or silver design. It is customary for brides in Southern China to wear a Long Feng Gua, a two-piece red dress adorned with a dragon and phoenix, which represent the groom and bride, respectively. Brides can also wear a red silk veil, symbolising the vow to cherish each other when the groom removes it.
Red and gold are considered lucky colours in Chinese culture. Gold symbolises wealth and fortune, so it is often used in weddings. Brides may wear a gold dress at some point during the wedding, and gold accessories are also common. Warmer colours such as purple, pink, and peach symbolise new life and happiness and are good options for guests.
Black and white, which are considered classic wedding colours in Western culture, are symbolic of mourning and death in Chinese culture. Dark colours such as navy and grey should also be avoided by wedding guests.
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The bowing ritual
Traditional Chinese weddings do not usually include wedding vows. However, there are several rituals and traditions that are commonly followed. Wedding traditions in China can vary depending on the region and province, but there are some common rituals that are often included in traditional Chinese wedding ceremonies. One such ritual is the bowing ritual.
In modern times, particularly in Chinese-American weddings, some couples choose to incorporate Western elements, such as exchanging vows. These vows may be translated from English or adapted from traditional Chinese poems and texts, expressing lifelong commitment, love, comfort, respect, and protection through sickness and health, poverty and wealth.
While traditional Chinese weddings may not include vows as commonly found in Western ceremonies, the bowing ritual and other unique traditions symbolise the couple's dedication to each other and their families, creating a meaningful and culturally rich celebration.
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Frequently asked questions
Traditional Chinese weddings do not usually involve exchanging vows. However, some Chinese-American weddings combine Chinese traditions with Western elements, such as exchanging vows.
Vows in Chinese weddings are usually intimate, heartwarming messages exchanged between the newlyweds about their lifelong commitment to each other.
Here is an example of vows in Mandarin:
"(Groom's name), are you willing to marry (bride's name) as your wife, in sacred marriage together for life? Whether in sickness or health, poverty or wealth, beauty or plainness, in good times and in bad, are you willing to love her, to comfort her, to respect her, and protect her? And are you willing to be forever loyal to her?"
In traditional Chinese weddings, the bride wears a red skirt and covers her head with a red handkerchief. Red symbolises love, honour, and fertility. The groom travels to the bride's house to collect her, and she travels in a sedan to her new husband's home where the ceremony takes place.
