Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette: Invites With Wedding Invitations?

Planning a wedding can be a challenging task, and organizing a rehearsal dinner is no small feat either. It is essential to know the proper rehearsal dinner invitation etiquette to ensure your guests feel welcomed and included in this special evening. While it is not mandatory to send formal invitations, it is a thoughtful gesture, especially for those who are not directly involved in the wedding rehearsal. So, should you send rehearsal dinner invitations with wedding invitations?

Who traditionally hosts and pays for the rehearsal dinner?

Traditionally, the groom's family pays for the rehearsal dinner, but this is not always the case. Nowadays, there are many options for who hosts and pays for the event. While the groom's parents are the traditional choice, the bride's parents, close friends, family members, or the couple themselves can also host and pay. Sometimes, several people or groups chip in.

If the couple wants full control over the planning process, it is best to pay for the event themselves. Whoever contributes financially to the rehearsal dinner has a say in the decisions, from the guest list to the venue. The hosts usually give a toast during the event.

If the couple has divorced parents, both sides can split the cost and planning responsibilities, and host the event together. If they are unable to work together, one parent can host the rehearsal dinner, and the other can host another wedding-related event, such as a brunch or engagement party.

The average cost of a rehearsal dinner is around $1,900 to $2,300, but this can vary depending on the location, size of the event, and what is included.

Who should be invited to the rehearsal dinner?

The rehearsal dinner is a time for the wedding party and the two families to relax, enjoy each other's company, and celebrate the upcoming union of the couple. It is also an opportunity for the couple's loved ones to socialise in a more intimate and laid-back setting before the wedding.

Traditionally, the rehearsal dinner is hosted by the groom's family, but nowadays, it is becoming more common for the couple to host it themselves or split the cost with their parents. The hosts of the rehearsal dinner typically decide on the guest list, and the guest list size can range from 15 to 50 people.

Wedding Party

The wedding party members, including the best man or woman, maid or man of honour, bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girl, and ring bearer, are usually invited to the rehearsal dinner. Their spouses, partners, and plus-ones are also typically included. If any children are part of the wedding party, their parents should be invited as well.

Immediate Family

The couple's parents, grandparents, and siblings are typically invited. Stepparents and siblings' plus-ones should also be included.

Officiant

The wedding officiant, who plays a significant role in the ceremony rehearsal, is usually invited, along with their spouse or partner.

Out-of-Town Guests

It is common but not mandatory to invite out-of-town guests to the rehearsal dinner, especially if the wedding is not a destination wedding. This is a nice gesture to include those who have travelled for the wedding, but it can be skipped if the budget is tight.

Close Friends and Extended Family

Close friends, godparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins can be included, depending on the couple's relationship with them and the desired size of the event.

In summary, the rehearsal dinner guest list typically includes those closest to the couple, with a focus on the wedding party and immediate family. The hosts of the event can decide on the final guest list, taking into account their preferences and budget.

When should rehearsal dinner invitations be sent out?

When it comes to sending out rehearsal dinner invitations, timing and etiquette are important considerations. While it is not mandatory to hold a rehearsal dinner, it is a wonderful opportunity for the couple's loved ones to socialise and connect in a more relaxed setting. Here is a comprehensive guide on when to send out rehearsal dinner invitations:

Timeline for Sending Invitations

It is recommended to mail out rehearsal dinner invitations four to six weeks before the wedding, and this should be done after the main wedding invitations have been sent. This timing ensures that guests receive the rehearsal dinner invitation with ample notice and allows them to plan their travel arrangements accordingly. It is also important to confirm the wedding rehearsal guest list before sending out the invitations.

Etiquette for Sending Invitations

The rehearsal dinner invitations should include essential information such as the host's name(s), the couple's names, the date, time, location, and RSVP details. The invitations can be sent as separate mailings or included as an insert card within the wedding invitation. If opting for a separate mailing, ensure that the invitations are mailed after the wedding invitations to avoid any confusion.

For a more traditional and formal approach, paper invitations are suggested. However, digital invitations are also becoming increasingly acceptable, especially if they align with the overall theme and structure of the other wedding-related invitations.

Additional Considerations

When creating the guest list for the rehearsal dinner, it is customary to include immediate family members, the wedding party, officiant, ceremony readers, and their respective spouses or partners. If there are out-of-town guests, it is a thoughtful gesture to invite them as well, especially if the wedding is a destination wedding.

In conclusion, by following the suggested timeline and adhering to the invitation etiquette, you can ensure that your rehearsal dinner invitations are sent out in a timely and organised manner, contributing to a well-planned and enjoyable event for both the hosts and the guests.

What should the invitations include?

The rehearsal dinner invitation should include the following:

• The host of the rehearsal dinner: This is usually the groom's parents, but can also be the couple themselves, their families, or friends.
• The names of the couple: The invite should make clear who the event is honouring.
• The event date, time, and location: The date, time, and location of the event should be included, as well as clear directions to the venue.
• The RSVP deadline and method: An email address is often the easiest method for guests to respond.
• Any additional information: This could include the wedding website, dress code, or any other special instructions.

Wording

The wording of rehearsal dinner invitations is usually more straightforward and simple than wedding invitations, but it's important to include all the necessary details. Here are some examples of wording for rehearsal dinner invitations:

"Please join us for a rehearsal dinner in honour of [couple's names] on [date] at [time] at [location]. RSVP to [host's name] by [date]."

"Let's celebrate! At a rehearsal dinner in honour of [couple's names] on [date] at [time] at [location]. Kindly reply by [date] to [host's name] at [phone number]."

When to Send

Rehearsal dinner invitations should be sent out three to four weeks before the event via mail or email. They can also be included with the wedding invitation suite, but only for guests who are invited to both events. It's important to send the rehearsal dinner invitations after the wedding invitations to avoid any confusion.

What is the seating arrangement at a rehearsal dinner?

Whether or not you need a seating arrangement at your rehearsal dinner depends on a few factors. Firstly, consider the venue and formality of the event. If you're having a casual backyard barbecue or a self-serve buffet, for example, assigned seating may be inconvenient and unnecessary. However, if your rehearsal dinner is in a formal setting, especially with a large group, a seating chart or at least table assignments can ensure every guest has a place to sit and can make it easier to manage meal selections.

If you're tight on space, table assignments are also a good idea as they ensure guests don't spread out too much and help you manage the number of tables required. If you're having a smaller, intimate group all seated at one large table, you might consider place cards as a thoughtful touch.

When it comes to who sits where, the couple should get the best seats in the house, ideally with a good view of the room so they can see their guests, and vice versa. The parents and grandparents of the couple should be seated nearby, with the wedding party and their dates grouped together. For the rest of the guests, it's up to the couple to decide, but they can consider grouping people by how well they know each other or by common interests.

Frequently asked questions