Addressing Wedding Invitation Envelopes: Etiquette And Style Guide

Wedding invitation envelopes can be a contentious issue, with many people having different preferences. The traditional method is to use titles such as Mr., Mrs., Ms., and Miss, but this can be seen as old-fashioned and outdated, especially when addressing women. When addressing a married couple, it is common to use Mr. and Mrs. followed by the man's first and last name, but this can be uncomfortable for modern women who want to be addressed by their own name. An alternative is to list both first names and the joint last name, or to list each person's full name separately. For unmarried couples, it is typical to include both names on one line, with the person you are closest to listed first. When addressing a single person, use their preferred title and full name, and if they have a plus one, include their name on the inner envelope. For families, list the parents' names on the outer envelope and the children's names on the inner envelope. Ultimately, it is up to you how to address your wedding invitation envelopes, but it is important to consider your guests' preferences and relationships to avoid causing offence.

Married couples with the same last name

When addressing wedding invitation envelopes to married couples with the same last name, there are a few options to consider. Here are some examples:

Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Jackson Clarke or "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Samantha Warren"

Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Clarke" or "Mr. and Mrs. Warren"

If the couple may prefer a more modern approach, you can include both of their first names:

Outer envelope: "Mr. Jackson Clarke and Mrs. Mary Clarke" or "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren"

Inner envelope: "Jackson and Mary" or "Thomas and Michelle"

Alternatively, you can use their first names only on the inner envelope for a more casual feel.

For same-sex married couples with the same last name, the format is similar. Simply indicate the appropriate prefix before their names:

Outer envelope: "Mrs. Shyan Walton and Mrs. Kiara Walton" or "Mr. Denzel Grant and Mr. Francis Grant"

Inner envelope: "Mrs. Walton and Mrs. Walton" or "Mr. Grant and Mr. Grant"

Again, you can include both of their first names or just their first names on the inner envelope, depending on the level of formality you wish to convey.

Married couples with different last names

When addressing wedding invitation envelopes to married couples with different last names, there are a few things to keep in mind. The outer envelope is more formal and traditionally includes the recipient's full name and title. For married couples with different last names, write out their full names with "Mr." or "Mrs." on the stationery. Either the man or the woman can be mentioned first, followed by their partner's name. For example, "Mrs. Gwyneth Brookes and Mr. Cyan Matthews" or "Mr. Cyan Matthews and Mrs. Gwyneth Brookes".

If you want to be more informal, you can forgo titles and use their first and last names only. In this case, list the person you are closest to first, or go in alphabetical order if you are equally close to both. For example, "Gwyneth Brookes and Cyan Matthews" or "Cyan Matthews and Gwyneth Brookes".

For same-sex married couples with different last names, the same rules apply. Ensure you address your guests with their preferred titles and names. For example, "Mr. Daniel Ramsay and Mr. Jeric Combs" or "Mrs. Margarette Hyde and Mrs. Kayla Cruz".

The inner envelope is more informal, and you can choose to leave out certain elements of the formal name format used on the outer envelope. For example, "Mrs. Brookes and Mr. Matthews" or "Gwyneth and Cyan".

Single people with a plus one

When addressing a wedding invitation to a single person with a plus one, the outer envelope should only include the name of the individual guest. This is the envelope that will be stamped and sent through the post, so it is best to keep it simple.

For a male guest, use "Mr." followed by his full name. For a female guest, use "Ms." followed by her full name. For a non-binary guest, the abbreviation "Mx." followed by their full name is appropriate.

On the inner envelope, you can then indicate that they are invited with a plus one. If you know the name of the guest's date, it is more personal to include their name on a separate line. For example:

> Mr. Tyler Morris

> Jane Smith

However, if you don't know the name of their date, you can simply write:

> Mr. Tyler Morris

> and Guest

If you are only using an outer envelope, you can still indicate a plus one by writing the guest's name followed by "and Guest".

Unmarried couples

When addressing wedding invitation envelopes to unmarried couples, the format differs slightly from that of married couples. Here are some guidelines and examples to help you with this task:

Outer Envelope:

The outer envelope is the one that will be stamped and addressed for mailing. When addressing an unmarried couple, list their full names on one line or on separate lines. Start with the person you are closest to or list them alphabetically by last name. Include appropriate titles such as "Mr.", "Ms.", or "Mx." for non-binary guests.

Examples:

• Ms. Alysson Schulz and Mr. Ricardo Gonzales
• Ms. Alysson Schulz / Mr. Ricardo Gonzales

If the unmarried couple has different last names, you can list either name first based on your preference or whom you are closer to.

Example:

Ms. Kara Morgan and Mr. Ed Parsons

Inner Envelope:

The inner envelope is optional and is used to specify the names of the invitees. It is more informal, so you have some flexibility. You can use titles and last names or just their first names, especially if you are very close to the couple.

Examples:

• Ms. Schulz and Mr. Gonzales / Alysson and Ricardo
• Ed and Kara / Mr. Parsons and Ms. Morgan

Additional Considerations:

• If the unmarried couple does not live together, it is customary to send separate invitations to each guest.
• When addressing guests with distinguished titles, such as doctors or military personnel, the person with the title is usually listed first, regardless of gender.
• It is essential to use the correct titles or prefixes and avoid abbreviations or nicknames unless specified.
• You can also add nicknames or terms of endearment on the inner envelope for a more personal touch.

Remember to double-check the preferred titles and names of your guests before finalising the envelopes.

Families with children

When addressing wedding invitation envelopes to families with children, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, if you are using both inner and outer envelopes, the outer envelope is reserved for the names of the parent(s) or guardian(s). The inner envelope is where you list each child by name. For girls under 18, you can use "Miss" if you wish, while boys don't need a title until they are 16 and can then be addressed as "Mr.".

If you are using only an outer envelope, you can address it to "The [Last Name] Family", which implies that all family members, including children, are invited to the wedding. Alternatively, you can list the names of the parents and add "and family" or "and children".

Outer envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham

Inner envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham, Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, and Mx. Kelly

Outer envelope: The Thompson Family

Inner envelope: Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily

If any children are over the age of 18 and living with their parents, they should receive their own invitation.

It's important to note that if you don't include each child's name, you are implying that children are not invited. However, some guests may still assume their children are welcome, so it's a good idea to spread the word through your immediate family and wedding party that the wedding will be adults-only. You can also add this information to your wedding website.

Frequently asked questions