Wedding Invite Etiquette: To Last Name Or Not?

There are a few things to consider when it comes to listing names on wedding invites. Firstly, it is important to ensure that guests can easily identify the couple getting married, especially if the guest list is small and includes people who may not know the couple well. For example, if the bride has been married before and has a different last name from the one she currently uses, it may be helpful to include both names to avoid confusion. Secondly, while traditional invitations include middle names, modern invitations often feature only first and last names, especially for less formal events. Thirdly, when addressing married couples with the same last name, it is common to use Mr. and Mrs. followed by the husband's full name. However, for same-sex couples, either name can go first. For unmarried couples living at the same address, both names are included on the same line, with the person closest to the invitee listed first. Finally, when inviting families with children, the outer envelope typically includes the parents' names, while the inner envelope lists each child by name.

Including last names is considered the traditional and formal way to address wedding invites

Including last names on wedding invitations is considered the traditional and formal way to address your guests. This is especially true if the parents are included in the invitation wording. For example:

> "Mr. and Mrs. Stephan Martin request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Jennifer Ann Martin to Bradley Francis Cooper..."

If the couple is hosting the wedding themselves, the invitation might read:

> "Together with their families, Jennifer Ann Martin and Bradley Francis Cooper..."

Traditionally, the bride's parents host the wedding, and wedding etiquette requires them to be named at the beginning of the invitation. However, it has become more common to include both sets of parents, making the invitation sound more polite and considerate.

If you want to stick with tradition, using last names and full middle names is considered the formal way to address wedding invitations. This is also helpful for guests to recognise the couple, especially if they have a large guest list or the guests may not know the couple well.

The traditional format for a heterosexual couple would be "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. For example:

> "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren"

However, for a same-sex couple, either name can go first. For unmarried couples, both names are included on the same line, with the person the couple is closest to listed first.

If you want to be formal, you can include middle names, too

When it comes to wedding invitations, there are a few different ways to approach the inclusion of names, especially when it comes to middle names. While it is not necessary to include middle names, doing so can add a sense of formality and tradition to your invitations.

For example, if the bride's parents are hosting and their names are included on the invitation, the wording might be:

> Mr. and Mrs. John Smith request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter, Jane Marie Smith, to John David Doe, son of Mr. and Mrs. James Doe.

If you are having a less formal wedding, you may choose to omit the middle names and use only first and last names. This is a more modern approach and can help to simplify the invitation design. It is also a good option if you are concerned about the length of the invitation text, as including middle names can make the text quite lengthy.

Ultimately, the decision to include middle names or not is a matter of personal preference. Some couples may prefer the traditional approach, while others may want to keep things simple and modern. It is also important to consider the length of the names and the overall design of the invitation when making your decision.

Additionally, it is worth noting that including middle names can be especially helpful if your guests may not be familiar with your full name. This is often the case if you have a large guest list or if you have a unique middle name that your guests may not know. By including your middle name, you can provide your guests with a more complete picture of who you are and help them feel more connected to you as a couple.

If you want to be casual, first names only are fine

If you're going for a casual vibe and want to use only first names on your wedding invites, that's absolutely fine! This approach is becoming increasingly popular for modern, less formal events. It's your wedding, so you can word your invitations however you like.

Guest List

If your guest list is small and everyone knows who is getting married, you can likely get away with using just first names. This approach ensures a more intimate feel and can make your guests feel more included.

Recognisability

Using only your first name may be confusing for guests if they don't recognise it. This is especially important if you have a common first name or if your guests may know other people with the same name. Including your last name can help clarify who is getting married, especially if you have a large guest list.

Consistency

If you opt for first names only, ensure you're consistent throughout all your wedding stationery. This means using first names only on any other materials, like RSVP cards or reception details.

Formality

Using only first names is generally more suitable for a casual wedding. If you have older or more conservative guests, consider using more formal wording for their invitations to avoid any potential misunderstandings. Using full names or including titles can be a respectful way to address these guests.

Middle Names

If you want to include your middle name on the invitation, that's also fine! Traditionally, invitations included the bride's first and middle name, but this is no longer a requirement. Including middle names can be a nice way to honour a family name or simply make your name stand out. However, if your partner doesn't have a middle name, you may want to omit yours as well for consistency.

Remember, the most important thing is to ensure your guests know who is getting married and feel welcomed by the invitation. Choose the wording that feels right for you and your partner, and don't be afraid to break tradition if that's what suits your style!

If you're inviting a married couple, put their names on the same line

If you're inviting a married couple, the traditional way to address the envelope is to put their names on the same line. This is the case whether the couple share a last name or have different surnames.

If the married couple share a last name, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's first name and last name. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". The inner envelope can then be addressed more informally, for example, as "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or with the couple's first names, e.g. "Thomas and Michelle".

If the married couple have different last names, their names can be written on the same line with the woman's name first. For example, "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez". The inner envelope can then be addressed more informally, e.g. "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David".

If you are equally close to both members of the couple, you can list their names alphabetically. Alternatively, if one person has taken the other person's surname, you can address the envelope to reflect this.

If you're inviting a family, list the parents' names on the outer envelope and the children's names on the inner envelope

When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, there are a few different scenarios to consider, especially when it comes to addressing guests' names on the envelopes. If you're inviting a family with young children (under 18), the outer envelope is reserved for the name(s) of the parent(s) or guardian(s). You should list each child by name on the inner envelope. For girls under 18, you have the option to use "Miss" as a title, while boys don't need a title until they turn 16, at which point they can be addressed as "Mr.".

Here's an example of how to address the envelopes when inviting a family:

Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham"

Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham, Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, and Mx. Kelly"

It's important to note that if you don't include each child's name on the inner envelope, it could be interpreted as children not being invited. However, some guests may still assume their children are welcome, so it's a good idea to have your immediate family and wedding party help spread the word that the wedding will be adults-only. You can also add this information to your wedding website.

If you're inviting a family with children who are 18 or older, they should each receive their own invitations unless they're living at home with their parents. In this case, you can follow the same format as a family with younger children.

Here's an example of how to address the envelopes for a family with older children:

Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson"

Inner envelope: "Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily"

When addressing wedding invitations, it's essential to use the correct titles and include all the relevant family members' names to ensure your guests feel welcomed and well-informed about your big day.

Frequently asked questions